Charlez

2007-07-02T10:54:00.001+08:00

Being Single...

Just thought of blogging now so just come here to blabber awhile before I head back to work... Just been to the website and browse... Actually have been to the website for awhile and wonder should I really take up the offer... Or rather... Am I ready to meet new people and welcome her into my life... LOL...

SDU is a program where all the single graduates meet and get-to-know each other... Hmmm... Sounds good eh... Something like this can be found and I believe it to be quite true...

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But oh what a rush!

There is a rush of chemicals that make you feel so good when you fall in love.

As we get older, we either stop falling in love, or take longer to fall in love, or we've simply forgotten what it means to fall in love. It might help if we had over-active hormones, but it doesn't mean that we can't fall in love once past our adolescent. We just have to remember how to do it.

To fall requires one to let go. There is of course a risk in letting go, and as we get older, we learn to avoid risk, to manage risk, to minimise risk. As would any investment advisor (i.e. someone who wants your money) will tell you, risk isn't always bad - it's just a matter of balancing risk and potential returns.

So the next time someone piques your interest, don't play down those feelings. Introduce yourself. Explore the possibilities of meeting for drinks. You might get rejected, but hey, you might also get a date.>>

If you are too young or if you are attached, you may not understand how old people like me feel... You will get to know it some day... So give it your best... Have no regrets... Actually its from William Hung...

William Hung - "I gave it my best and I have no regrets."

2007-04-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

Money & You...!!!

I am so motivated, enriched and excited about the whole program...!!! 5 days 4 nights just pass like a breeze... Without realizing how time really flies... The next second you know... Poof...!!! It's like 5 days later... ARGH...!!! I mizzed those good old days when the group of us are having great fun, laughter, food, lectures, games, hugs, sharing, etc, etc...

Anyway... Back to my story... Haven't really been blogging for quite some time... So just thought of coming back here to blog... Actually wanted to blog on the day when I returned to Singapore from Subang Jaya for the course Money & You... But in the end, I was just being lazy, after unpacking my stuffs and clear some work, I went to sleep next... Actually dragged quite some time before I'm back here again... Blame it on myself for being lazy...

So... I'm back now... Have been chatting with Sabbie, Ellis, Janicia, Shu Wen, Shu Fang, Shu Wei, Li Yan, Irwin, Pauline, Evelyn, Hao Cheng, Andrea, Jasmine, Alvin, Evon, Hwee Siong, Shun Cai, Ah Yin, Pei Fen and Esther lately... Pretty good catch up for some people... Especially with my new group of good friends from Money & You Program... They are such a nice group of people... Anyway... I only mixed with nice people... I think those people who really knows me will know that... Anyway... My best pal, Irwin is coming back... AGAIN...!!! But who knows how long will he be staying here... Will be catching up with him if we are free...

Back to my Money & You Program... I would gladly and greatly recommend my love ones to the course... Especially Mr. Irwin Ho... With such SKEPTICAL mindset... Please brother...!!! Change it...!!! I couldn't really describe the whole program here as I should not disclose much about it and I don't really know how to explain that in great details... But what I know is, this course actually changed my life... Even though it's just a little right now, but I believe in terms of years to come, it will change a great lot... Definitely to the better... As I have already let go of some unwanted past... Life is great... And can be better... I am so damn excited that I'm almost speechless of what to say... If you guys trust me out there... GO FOR IT...!!! Different people will expect different things from the course, but whatever you felt, it will definitely be good for you... I will still go back for unlimited reviews to enriched myself even further...!!! I would also like to specially share this program with Irwin and Li Yan of course, and Ellis, Janicia and Stephanie, as I sincerely believe that this program will greatly benefit them... But Janicia seems kinda young now, hahahahahahahaha... Some day, I will definitely drag her to go with me, if we are still as close in the near future...

Lastly, I love you guys out there...!!! Those people should know who they are... Hahahahahaha... Coz I'm rather vocal and expressive... Shall be off for now... Felt so happy sharing with people about this interesting, exciting, enriching, motivating, fulfilling and life transforming course...

2007-04-01T02:52:00.000+08:00

Double Decker Bed + Etc...

Went IKEA at East side just recently... Somewhere near Changi area... Kinda big... But supplies were quite standard... Saw the double decker bed again... Kinda like it... Actually saw it like years back... But did not buy it... So now I saw it again... So was kinda tempted to buy it... Sigh... Should I or should I not...??? It's like top section is for sleeping... Bottom has a sofa, so it's more of like resting, chatting, gaming, etc... So it's kinda cool... So tempted to buy... OMG...!!! Total cost I think is about $1,000... Including everything... Bed, frame, sofa, etc...

Just realize that I need to restrain myself from easily relying on others... Argh...!!! Bad habit... Sigh... Been having lotsa thoughts lately... Sigh... Should just slowly take my time to re-think about the stuffs and etc... Still slacking... And slacking...

2007-03-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

First Business Trip + Fate...???

First time been assigned to travel overseas to oversee a project... Hmmm... Overseas to oversee... Kinda rhyme yah...??? Hahahahaha... Supposingly to travel to Shen Zhen, China, to visit the factory there as we are suppose to buy machines from China... Which is like so insecure... But anyway... We are there... We = Me + Someone elses from my Company... Boring though... Super boring... Argh...!!! Due to somebody's recommendations, we went to Hongkong first... It's like so freaking annoying... My first time was taken just like that... My first trip to Hong Kong... So sad... I wanted to go there so much... Yet its in such situations... There goes my first time... Anyway... Encounter some problems in the Changi Airport... My thumb prints can't be recognized... So took some time out of it... And someone notice it...

Ultimately we arrived at Hong Kong Airport on 15th March 2007, around 6pm in the evening... That particular someone suddenly talked to me... Hahahahaha... She notice that I encounter some problem with the thumb print just now... So we kinda chatted for awhile... I must have been daring to take her contact number... But I didn't... Hahahaha... Never thought that we would meet again... So just left the Airport with some regrets... And some other blah blah blah encounter... Shall skip those useless thingy... But those Hongkongers who came to fetch us are superb... Nice people... So we went to Nan Ren Jie, Man's Street, to shop... Bought a set of black Mah Jong set... Kinda different than the normal ones... It cost me $200HKD... So it's like $40SGD... There goes my first night and ended my first time encounter with Hong Kong...

Next day, took the MRT from Jian Sha Zui to Luo Hu... So finally reached Shen Zhen... And took a damn long drive to Shan Wei, to look at a stupid factory... But in the end... Wasted the trip for nothing... Ended up going to Hu Bin and stayed overnight in one of the hotel there...

Next day... Took an afternoon flight from Shen Zhen Airport to Tian Jin... First time sit on China Airline... Which practically... SUCKED...!!! Delayed for an hour... Or is it two...??? Can't remember... So practically was like rotting in the Airport... Sigh... Finally able to board the plane... But... It sucked also... Argh... But luckily still have some food to eat... So there goes the 3 hours flight to Tian Jin...

Woooo... Pretty cool... I mean the weather... Cold weather... Dusty air though... So our supplier took us to look at the factories... Bad experiences... We are practically wasting money travelling there... Sigh... So more and more blah blah blah... And that ended our trip in Tian Jin... Flew back to Shen Zhen the next day... As usual... Delayed flight... Sigh... What else can we praise about the outstanding service that they provide...???

So back to Shen Zhen for a dinner and that actually ends the day... Oh yah... Just before I forget... The girls in China are really superb... Pretty girls... And its really PRETTY... For those people who know me well enough, my taste are really high... It's really worth looking at those pretty girls... And when most people think a lot of China girls are baddies, they arn't really so... Some are really nice, sweet, pretty and cute... At least I felt that way...

So last day finally arrive... And I'm definitely looking forward to it... Went back to Hong Kong by coach from Shen Zhen station as we have a plane to catch in the late afternoon... Going overseas on a business trip is definitely not fun... Especially if it's with someone that I don't enjoy be with... Sigh... Anyway... It's over... While on the plane back to Singapore from Hong Kong... I saw that girl again... Is it fate...??? Or is it just me...??? She's kinda surprised that we actually able to meet up again... Hahahahaha... Is it fate...??? Or is it just me...??? I really wonder... So... Ultimately managed to talk to her again... And brush up some courage and gave her my name card... Yes...!!! Of course I do have my own name card... So just some catch up here and there... Get to know a little bit more... And... She's older than me... OMG...!!! How can that happened...??? Sigh... But anyway... That's it... All ended when you think there's chances... But... Hmmm... Does it really matter when girls are older than guys...??? I use to hate it... But I'm kinda re-thinking this proposition...

Thought she wouldn't add me in msn or contact me... But after waited for almost a day... She did... So finally able to be in touch again... Well... Shall see how it goes... Maybe I'm too childish for her... Who knows... Seems to be a pretty tough girl... Meaning business woman type... Doesn't seems to be those kind that I would fancy... But... Who knows eh...??? Just see how it goes...

All I want to do is find a way back into love... I can't make it through without a way back into love...

Due to Yan Ling proposition... I shall now add on some pictures...

First Day in Hong Kong... My long awaited Hong Kong trip... But its not on a holiday... Sigh... I will definitely go there again either on my own or with my the other half... Which means my girlfriend lahz...!!!

On the way to Shen Zhen, we took the MRT there... This shows a blur picture of part of the line from Jian Sha Zui to Luo Hu... And we will reach Shen Zhen there after...

This is the once so famour Kowloon Tong... It is still so famous though... But we didn't alight here... But no worries... One day I will definitely alight here and shop around... I don't know when will the day arrive though...

This is the rural area in Shen Zhen... Look at the young kids playing pool... Not swimming pool... And Mr Irwin Ho... Take a look at the man sitting on the stool at the back of the picture... He is using a Handphone Charger to charge his phone... There isn't any whatever you are looking for...

If I didn't remember wrongly... This shall be the picture when we are leaving Ping Hu Hotel...

Shen Zhen Airport... Where all China Airlines gather... China Airlines were once referred as girls... Coz the flights are usually delayed...

Joker on the Plane... Guess who is he...??? Air-steward of coz... Is he dancing...??? Of coz now... He is using the most traditional way of demostrating the safety regulations on plane in case of any emergency... You will definitely get entertained by him... Hahahahaha...

Oops... Supposingly to show a nice set of meal... But I am so hungry that I quickly ate them... And then remember to take a picture of it... So... TA DA...!!! Here is the food from China Airline... Erm... I mean the debris...

2007-03-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

09th March 2007 + Music & Lyrics + Good Day...

Its a super nice day lohz... First of all, nothing much to do at work today... Practically slacking my day through... Not as in practically... But literally or whatever... Anyway... That's all about work... So thought of going out to catch a movie with my good friend Shun Cai... So the nearest place is of coz Vivo City... Actually wanted to watch Just Follow Law... Local production by Jack Neo... But tickets left are only for the first three rows... Which I don't want to sit coz of the uncomfortable position... So we changed to Music & Lyrics... Which is a freaking awesome movie... Have been laughing and almost crying... Hahaha... For those who like oldies, music, romance and comedy... This show is for you... Awww... Love it so much... Drew Berrymore is awesome also... Pretty and sweet... Gosh...

Being a nice guy... Of coz I sms my beloved friends to share them this good news... And definitely share with Yue... For goodness sake... She actually replied...!!! It's not like she's evil or bad that she don't reply... But still felt the nice feeling of having her around... Even as a friend... A special friend of mine... Some of you might know who she is... Especially my best friends will know... Till now... Yue is still the most special girl to me... Awww... Mizzed her so much... Anyway... The sms isn't just the miracle... The miracle is I even chat with her in msn when I reached home... Heaven treats me so well today... Hahahahahaha...

Had a good catch up with Andrea also... If you are ever going to read this, I'm waiting for you to be free to go out on a date with me oh... Don't forget the movie oh... Hahahahaha... So looking forward to it...

Practically that's about it... Sigh... 1am in the morning of a Saturday... Still need to go work later... Sigh... Super boring when I've got nothing much to do... Hopefully my quotes or specifications will come in tomorrow morning... Lucky only half day of work... But still need to travel around with one of the contractor to look at different types of furnitues for my toilet... Argh... Freaking pissed with the previous contractors... Super low quality work done... Grrr... To think that we still stupidly trust them to do the job... But anyway... It's over... New lesson learnt...

Have been pretty slack still... Argh... Same topic over and over again... Sigh... Hopefully more miracles will happen...

2007-02-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

Super Happy Day

REALLY SO HAPPY TODAY...!!! First time ever... For the past 24 years of life never been so happy before... It's not because that it's my darling Janicia's birthday... But it's because... For the first time in my 24 years of life, I finally able to shop so happily and freely without considering much and get anything that I wanted... Including a brand new Microsoft Laser Cordless Mouse plus a Logitech Webcam which I wanted ever since at least 6 years back... Or even longer... And today... Finally able to get all the cheaper things that little money can buy... Due to Chinese New Year season... I bought myself a few sets of nice clothings as well... Damn cool... Total of 2 sweaters, 1 wind breaker, 2 track pants, 1 singlet, 1 shorts and 1 pair of slippers... Plus 1 Logitech Webcam, 1 Brand New Microsoft Mouse and 1 Laptop Haversack... Really first time ever... Splurge on MYSELF like mad... But really happy that I get the things that I want and like... That shows something isn't it...??? The good thing about working is MONEY...!!! After getting all these... I think will stop for awhile... Or maybe need to buy more clothes... Really need to dress up myself... I still lack of shoes also... And new spectacles... And braces... Hmmm... More shopping coming soon... Another good thing is being single... So that all my money belongs to me only... HAHAHAHAHAHA... That's so lame... Zzz... Single is so sad... Sob... Sob... Sob...

2007-02-20T02:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year...!!!

Cool... Had a great time celebrating my lunar new year... Hahahahaha... Not so cool on the first day... But it's today that is cool... Coz I went to Aunty Joyce's house and had a great time there... Quite great... Coz I managed to see my darlings over there... And my dearest aunts also... Good in the sense that we managed to chat up quite a lot today... And managed to share quite a number of things too... Though getting quite a number of confrontations about "somethings"... Hmmm... Never know that I've caused such a hassle previously... Sigh... But anyway... It's over... Didn't managed to chat lots with my darlings though... Coz... As usual... Not much topics still... Sigh... Kinda regret that I wasted so much time in the past and not spending enough quality time with my darlings and aunts... And few years down the road... I can foresee that chances are lesser... Sigh... So just wanted to spend more good times with them before times up... Really loves them so much yet time are so limited and age is catching up... Sigh... Even though I love them, but it's like one-sided affair... Zzz...

Chinese New Year is passing by like a wind... Going to start work again on wednesday... Heard that it's a bad day to start work... And definitely it's going to be... As I need to bring my worker for check up... Sigh... Pretty sad thing... Basically... Just need to tidy up some work this week and enjoy my weekend of new year again before another long year starts... Hmmm... Going to put on braces soon... Maybe going earlier than planned... Shall see how it goes...

Plans, plans, plans, and more plans... But how well can I managed them and will I be able to juggle and fulfil them well...??? Hmmm... Tricky... As money is so hard to earn... And save... Spent quite an amount buying new clothes for this festive season... Going to spend more buying nicer clothings... Though I've bought something that is not so nice... Grrr... Kinda regret and stupid to buy that ugly track pants... Grrr... Anyway... Will have to buy more clothes as my clothes are really pathetic... Wearing the same over and over again... Time to have some dressing sense...

Just hoping for the best in everything I do and hoping for a good relationship with as many people as possible... Especially my darlings... Love you all lots...

2007-02-11T22:40:00.000+08:00

Busy Month...!!!

Hahahaha... Actually don't wanna blog... But after some thoughts, just come in to write a short one... Yawn...!!! Super tired these 2 weeks... Have been busy working through the weekends selling fishes in the factory due to Chinese New Year season... Sigh... So boring... Hmmm... I mean tiring... Practically these 2 weeks are plain boring week... Work, go home, sleep... Work, go home, sleep... And practically that's it...

Oh yah, I did went out on 8th Feb 2007 for a dinner with Candice... Coz it's her birthday... Kinda shock that she's willing to meet me coz it's quite late after her night class... But we still did went out... Had supper at Coffee Club located at beside Cineleisure... Quite ok... The food... Catch up once in awhile is still quite ok...

Saw Aunty Joyce today at my work place today... Very surprised to see her there to buy seafood... Hahahaha... But in the end, I'm quite busy, so didn't really serve her and catch up with her, so most probably will be going her house on the second day of Chinese New Year...

Saw Gina's mum there also... My ex-colleague from Recruit Express... It's a pretty good feeling of having customer coming back to look for you and remember you... Hahahaha...

Nothing much in particular that happened recently... Oh yah, had a weird dream last night... So strange... Can't really remember what's wrong with the dream... But definitely not something good... Hmmm... So scary...

Went off from work with my aunt and cousins... Though short, but quite nice company... Hahahaha... That's secret of course... LOL...

2007-01-31T23:12:00.000+08:00

Back To Recruit Express

Cool great day...!!! Even though more troubles and unsolvable problems... Sigh... But anyway... Had fun working... But also have it's own tedious and taxing time... But anyway... Put away those vexing stuffs now... Happy hours now...

Had a great time going back to Recruit Express today... Missed my colleagues... Though most of them are not there... But replaced with new people... But some are still there... And that includes my friend cum colleague, and also my beloved Mentor, Ms. Jann...!!! I am so glad working under her... She is really a very good mentor... Taking good care and teaching me well... Even though I am not up to the job as it's not my cup of tea, but they still welcome me and like me so much... Hahahaha... No kidding... And what's even best is they wanted to recommend one of the girls there to me as well... Hahahahaha... But don't think it come out well... Kinda shy... I mean both of us... Anyway... Let fate decides... Don't even know her other than her name... Can't really remember how she look like also... Hahahahaha... Anyway... It's good to be single still now... Still have tons of things to settle before ready for something new... Still have my target in mind of getting married in 2 years time... So I think I left little time for my darling cousins... And I'm getting older also... Sigh... Bad thing...

More work tomorrow... Sigh... Hard to explain the things that I'm going through... Love and hate the job at the same time... If it's not for the income, passion and determination to improve things within the family, I might have leave the place... GANBATTE Jiahan...!!! You sure can make good things happen...!!!

2007-01-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

!!!...Miracles...???

Miracles do happened...!!! Just when I thought that life is as usual... And everything is stagnant... Someone special sms me this morning... She definitely brighten up my day...!!! She is none other than my Dearest Special Friend, Ms. Yue...!!! Those of you who don't know who she is, it's ok... Those who are close with me will know... We sms throughout the whole day... Not exactly the whole day actually... Just kinda morning and evening... It's like the ever first time that we exchange so many sms in one day... I think... Throughout this day, it's more than what we msg over a period of 1 year... Hahahahaha... I'm definitely not exaggerating... Really so happy that she sms me...

I need to really ton down myself before I meet her some time this year... Getting fatter and fatter... And I just finished Mac Spicy Meal, UPSIZED...!!! Coz I haven't had any dinner... So... Eat it once in awhile is still nice... Hahaha...

Sigh... Same old things... Recently, too much things happened... Here and there... And the forever hectic work... Sigh... What's wrong with the people... Or is it just me...??? Sigh... Getting really pissed about some peoples' working hours... Argh...!!! Never mind... It will only agitate me ever more...

Going back RE to visit my old colleagues... Anyone have any ideas what should I buy back...??? Sigh... I shall see what I can buy... Think they are going to introduce some girls to me... Hahahahaha... Need to dress up myself... But my size was like... ARGH...!!! Never mind... Shall see how it goes...

2007-01-28T03:19:00.000+08:00

28th January 2007...!!!

Cool...!!! Guess what so special about this day...??? Actually... There's really nothing special about today other than it's being special cause it's my BIRTHDAY...!!! For goodness sake... It's my 24th Birthday...!!! Great eh...??? Hahahahahahahaha...

Anyway... Very good year I would say... Went off to celebrate my birthday yesterday... Which is 27th January 2007... Start off the day working from 8.30am till 8pm... And after that, went off for a small celebration with my Aunty + Family... Including my darlings... Hahahahaha... That's pretty cool eh...??? Had Ramen in Ajisen... Not too bad... Kinda a short gathering with them and chatted awhile before we head home... After that, went to my aunt house with them, cause I'm teaching Darling Christabel her homework... At around 12 midnight, they celebrated my birthday with me... Hahahahaha... First time ever... Celebrating with 3 darlings + relatives... After that, I stayed there to accompany Darling Christabel till 2.45am... Finally finished some of her stuffs and there might be more later... And guess what...??? One of the best gift ever that I've got this year...??? It's a sincere, appreciative, loving and heart-warming hug from Darling Christabel... Appreciate and love that so much... Definitely is one of the best gift I ever wanted... Thank you so much Darling Christabel...!!! Love ya so much too... Another surprise is from Andrea...!!! OMG...!!! That's crazy... But it's real... So fortunate that someone like her appreciated our friendship so much... It's so sincere and honest... And I really do appreciate our special friendship too... Thank you so much Andrea...!!! I'll really treasure our friendship so much... As compared to those people who claim that we are good friends and yet where are they...??? LOL... Cool eh...???

Going to spend my birthday silently this year... No splendid celebration or whatever... Just some good times with my darlings or alone... Missed that hug... So whoever wanted to give me a gift but can't think of any, can suggest giving me a hug... Only applicable to my darlings though... Hahahahahaha...

Going to be real busy this coming week... Fully loaded with appointments... Will go crazy thinking about it... But anyway... It will be a good time building up my experiences...

2007-01-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

21st January 2007...!!!

Today is Sunday...!!! Good day too...!!! Actually wanted to blog sooner... But didn't really have the chance to... Sooner as in few days back... Coz I've got some stuffs to write about previously... But couldn't really remember what to write now, so shall just skip that and write about new things... Sigh... How can I go about doing away the STM... (Short Term Memory)...

Anyway... Spend my week end having good fun... Yesterday... Which is a Saturday, took leave to go for that nonsense IPPT Test... Need to take 5 stations... I passed 4... And failed the most critical test... Which is 2.4km run... Sigh... Meaning... I NEED TO GO FOR REMEDIAL TRAINING... WHAT THE HELL...!!! Sigh... Wasting time man...

But anyway, went to meet my army buddy, Lai Sheng at Toa Payoh after my test... We went to watch BLOOD DIAMOND... Hmmm... Quite a nice show... Recommended by me for people who like war and violence kinda movies...

Sunday...!!! Today is even a better day for me... Even though I still need to discuss about work with the Management... But I've had a great day with my Darlings... They are Darling Christabel, Darling Joanne and Darling Hui Hui... Especially Darling Christabel and Darling Joanne... As I have spend time teaching Christabel on her school home work and had a short catch up with Joanne... Just love them so much...

Hmmm... Next week coming soon... And guess what...??? It's my 24th Birthday... 24th...!!! For goodness sake... Can't believe that I'm already 24... I still thought I'm 18... And I do look like 18... Sigh... How time flies without me realizing how precious they are and how fast they passed... If only I can turn back time, I just want to spend more time with my Darlings... Building up stronger relationships with as many people as possible... When I pass throught certain age and stages of my life... I can hardly do that anymore... Especially after married... Coz they are so much younger than me... And I really do cherish everyone of them so much... Them equals my Darlings Cousins... Not all... As I'm not really close to everyone...

Anyway... Busy week ahead again... Sigh... Hopefully things can move on smoothly and get everything settled by this week... Tons of work building up... Gogogo...!!! Great week ahead...!!!

2007-01-14T00:55:00.000+08:00

New Resolutions

Hmmm... After some thinking, I have KINDA made up my mind about my new New Year Resolutions... No more celebrating Christmas and counting down for 2008 in Japan or Korea this year... Coz I simply couldn't afford going there this year... But YES...!!! Will put it on hold for next year...!!! So for now... Most probably will just spend my holiday in Melbourne with my heartless best friend... That heartless crap... Should I even spend so much money to visit him... Sigh... Will either set the dates from 25th May 2007 till 2nd June 2007... If not, will have to be from 3rd August 2007 till 11th August 2007... Sigh... But the freaking SIA air tickets are so expensive... Sigh...

After coming back from the trip, I will be going to put on braces for my atrocious set of teeth... Will start to have a decent saving from April onwards... Sigh... Finally able to settle all my debts and investments before that... Then subsequently will be spending on the braces and for my wonderful holidays...!!! Think that will be the first time I'm going for a decent holiday on my own... If only I can go with my beloved... But too bad, couldn't find her... Don't know where is she hiding... Sigh... But having a girlfriend now means I won't have a decent savings... Hmmm... Tricky...

Work, work, work, and more work... Things still didn't really work out well at work... Or rather things not really moving... A lot of things are like pending here and there... Sigh... How can I change the traditional mindset of the company to make everyone else life easier... Sigh... Will I be getting bonus...??? Desperately in need of money... Zzz...

Have been working on improving my relationships with more friends and family members... Just want to improve with more of them... Have been catching up with some old friends... And added some new links to my blog... Hahahahaha... It's a good sign... Hopefully can add more when time pass... But relationship with some friends doesn't seems to be as good... Sigh... Tough life eh... It just fulfil the sayings that we can never get the best of both worlds... Hmmm... Something like that... Hahahaha...

2007-01-09T19:30:00.000+08:00

Good Day...!!!

Wahahaha...!!! Today is a good day... Why...??? Coz I saw Aki-san online, FINALLY...!!! You might not know who she is, eh-hem, of coz its a she... Who else will I be so excited and happy about... LOL...!!! Anyway... Chatted with her for quite awhile... Can hardly describe how happy I am to finally see her online... Anyway... Will catch up with her soon... She is just a very special friend of mine... Yeah, I have quite a few special friend, special in different angels... Hahahaha...

Finally work has slowed down a bit... As most things are settled for the time being... So I need to find more things to do now... Can't stand doing nothing at work... But I definitely can do nothing at home... Hahaha... To date, managed to have slight improvement in my relationship with some of my darling cousins and friends... They are Darling Shi Qi (a very surprising kinship for improvement), anyway, only we know what that means... And also another rare cousin, Christabel, which I hardly talk to her... But just get closer recently... And also Darling Janicia... Finally able to talk with her again... Not forgetting my beloved Aki-san, Alice, Andrea, Irwin, Kelly, Leanne, Qi Yin, Qian Wen and Tricia... Still not bad huh... Hope to have greater improvement with them and many others as time pass...

Going to save up whole lots of money to put on braces for my atrocious teeth... Sigh... Finally determine to straighten my thoughts as well as my teeth... Zzz... Going to spend so much again... But definitely I will want to go on a holiday this year...!!! Stay tune for my updates on my first holiday...!!! But that will be like... SIX MONTHS LATER...!!! Hahahaha... Mizz you girls... LOL...

2007-01-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

07th Jaunary 2007, Sunday

Life is so fragile...!!! You will never know when are you going to leave the world... Sigh... Went over to my neighbour's house today as their grandmother pass away on Friday... Don't really know what to say to them... So just sit there and listen while my parents talked to them... Sit there for like almost 2 hours before I went home...

I went home to change as my cousin wanted to go gym at her house... So I went home, and cycle to her house... Which took me around 40 mins... Not really that far as her house is around West Coast area... So I took my time to slowly cycle there... Even though cycle for around 40 mins, but I don't think I burnt much fats... Hahaha... When I reached her house, we go to the Gym... I didn't really exercise a lot... Just jog for awhile and do some weights... It's really for a short while only... Then I rest at another cousin's house... Well... 3 of my cousins are staying at the same block of condo... And they are rather close... So Hui Hui, the one who went Gym with me, went out to meet her friends, so I waited at Li Ting's house for Christabel, who is Hui Hui's sister, and bring her out for dinner and send her home there after...

We wanted to go Jurong Entertainment Centre for dinner as Hui Hui is there with her friends... But after that, we changed to IMM as there are a wider range of food there... So Christabel and I walked from Jurong Entertainment Centre to IMM... Not really that far... Went to Cafe Cartel for dinner... Choose my food but then it's sold out... So dots... Then I've no choice but to choose something else which I don't really fancy but due to limited food, so don't really have much choice... Christabel ordered a really not so nice pasta... So I share my Chicken Chop with her... Felt kinda loving in a way as she is my younger cousin and I'm doting her... Hahahaha... She's really cute and sweet sometimes... Hope to have a better relationship with her... Today is just a stepping stone... And it's really the first time that I went out with her alone... Hope can have more such chances to improve my relationship with her as well as other cousins, friends, family and relatives... My target is to have a better relationship with at least 28 people... I can definitely achieve it... Thanks darling Christabel... I've had a great day...!!! Shall really TREAT you next time...

New Year Resolution...!!! I think I will be changing some of my resolutions... Will be for my holidays as I don't think I might be able to go Korea or Japan this year to either countdown for Christmas or New Year... So the only time to go should be the time in June... So most probably will be going to Melbourne... BUT then... It's still like pending also... As maybe going Korea or Japan in June is also nice... Argh... So many nice places to choose till I don't know where to take a break and enjoy myself... Sigh... Shall plan it by end of this month, before or after my birthday... To think that my 24th birthday is coming so fast... Sigh... I'm like... So old now... And yet to achieve anything great... Sigh... Determination... Where have you been... Or rather... Where are you... Peoples' life are full of colours and happening events... Yet mine was rather dull and boring... Sigh... So that this year, I've set those resolution to improve on my character and personality... Bless me...!!! Wait till I've come out with a more solid and firm New Year's Resolutions then I shall blog again... Shall see you all around... Hugs and Misses...

2007-01-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year...!!!

Welcome All to the Year 2007...!!! For the past 1 year, Singapore had achieved many things, which I don't know... But this year, in the Year 2007, I will definitely upgrade my knowledge in terms of Business News and World's News... Not going to live in the well anymore... My Resolution for the New Year 2007 will be:

1. Be less petty and MORE GENEROUS, GIVING AND FORGIVING.
2. Be MORE POSITVE and less negative.
3. Celebrate CHRISTMAS 2007 in JAPAN/KOREA.
4. Change my bad attitude to GOOD ATTITUDE.
5. Change my lazy self to ACTIVE SELF.
6. Countdown to 2008 in JAPAN/KOREA.
7. Go to MELBOURNE to visit IRWIN and SKI with him on the MOUNTAIN TOP in JUNE 2007.
8. Improve my RELATIONSHIP with at least 28 people.
9. Upgrade MYSELF with ENRICHMENT COURSES (Going KL in APRIL 2007 for one program).

Sounds cool eh...??? Hahahahaha... That's my resolution for this Brand New Year...!!! So looking forward to it... So much to achieve this year...!!! Definitely going to be exciting to achieve all these...!!! Best of luck to everybody and to myself also...!!! Last year I have spent boring Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at home, alone... I went to my friend's house to play mahjong till 2007... It is pretty boring eh...??? Thus I target to do something VERY DIFFERENT this year...!!! As I believe this year, 2007, will be a great year for me... Hope it's the same for you as well...!!!

2006-12-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas...!!!

WAOH...!!! Guess what...??? I've got a Christmas Present even when I did not go out and stayed home the whole Christmas Eve...!!! But definitely some people remember me this Christmas...!!! Hahahahahahahaha... So glad... The one and maybe only gift is from my beloved cousins, the Yang sisters, choose it for ME...!!! Hahahahaha... Thanks girls... So bad of me that I didn't buy anything for anybody... Hmmm... Hope that my kinship with my cousins will grow stronger from now...!!!

Anyway... Stayed home whole day playing games and watching TV...!!! Love Actually premiere on TV...!!! Though I've watched before, but it's still nice... The songs inside are nice too... Most songs are nice... And the Christmas's song, All I Want For Christmas, Is You... Is also nice... Kinda sad that Christmas just went by like this... Next year must have a different way of celebrating Christmas... Need to go through different things before I age further... Thinking of going overseas to enjoy Christmas Season in a winter country... Exciting...??? LoL... Definitely...

Busy schedule coming ahead... At least for the next 6 months, will be quite busy with work... Not forgetting having a 4 days course in April at Kuala Lumpur... And also having 2 different half yearly audits in both May and June... Plus thinking of going Melbourne to ski in June... To accompany my idiotic best friend Mr Irwin Ho... We will be going to Mountain Top to ski IF I'M GOING...!!! And last but not least... Another holiday with a special someone to a winter country to celebrate a different Snowing Christmas, if Love Luck blooms for me next year... So excited thinking of celebrating Christmas in winter countries... Hahahaha... But of course, I might be online again for the whole day if nothing changes... Zzz...

Some of my beloved cousins went Thailand to celebrate Christmas this year...!!! So was like kinda mizz them... They should be enjoying much...!!! Come back soon and safely...!!! Cheers...!!! Last but not least... Wishing all of you a Merry MERRY CHRISTMAS...!!! May all your wishes comes true...!!!

All I Want For Christmas... Is YOU...!!!
I don't want a lot for Christmas...
There is just one thing I need...
I don't care about the Presents...
Underneath the Christmas Tree...
I just want you for my own...
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas... Is... YOU...

I don't want a lot for Christmas...
There is just one thing I need...
I don't care about the Presents...
Underneath the Christmas Tree...
I don't need to hang my Stocking...
There upon the Fireplace...
Santa Claus won't make me happy...
With a toy on Christmas Day...
I just want you for own...
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is you...

I won't ask for much this Christmas...
I won't even wish for Snow...
I'm just gonna keep on waiting...
Underneath the Mistletoe...
I won't make a list and send it...
To the North Pole for Saint Nick...
I won't even stay awake to...
Hear those magic Reindeer Click...
I just want you for own...
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is you... You... Baby...

All the lights are Shining...
So brightly everywhere... (so brightly everywhere)
And the sound of Children's...
Laughter fills the air... (laughter fills the air)
And everyone is singing...
I hear those sleepers ringing...
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need...
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

I don't want a lot for Christmas...
This is all I'm asking for...
I just want to see my baby...
Standing right outside my door...
I just want you for my own...
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas... Is... You...
All I want for Christmas...
(And You...)
(And You...)
(And You...)
(And You...)
(All I want for Christmas...)
All I want for Christmas...

2006-12-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

Back...!!!

Finally back to blog after so long... Have been super busy and stress with meetings and business fair... Sigh... Tomorrow is the last day... A burst of fire and end it with flying colours... But whatever the result is... Just hope to pass by peacefully... Sigh... Busy days coming along... Having audit on Monday... Crap...!!! Hope can pass... Freaking much to do....

Anyway... Having expectations on some one or some thing is so... ... ... Speechless... Sigh... Kinda pissed over it... Myself, maybe... For having expectations... Sigh... Haven't been sighing for a long time... Gonna go to bed soon... Last burst of fire and can have a good rest tomorrow night... Don't have the mood to blog now... Zzz... Sleep well...

2006-12-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

Entrepreneur Action Program, Day 3...

Though I didn't went to attend the courses... But... I'm working and draining my brain juice out to the max... Zzz... Not really the max actually... But kinda exhausted my "quota" to think of any better ideas to sell... Need to talk to my mentors...

Pretty much spent the whole day thinking and chatting in the msn... Hahahaha... Kinda evil... To think of spending my working hours msning... But anyway... It's with someone... Just someone... So... It's pretty much ok since didn't able to chat with that someone often...

Anyway... Shall skip that... Don't wanna think too much about anyone and anything now... It's not easy being a single Entrepreneur... And I'm kinda struggling already... What's more if I'm attached... Zzz... It will be harder to juggle around... Unless I have a super wonderful understanding, nice, gentle, caring, loving, sweet, cute, etc etc girlfriend... Oops... Kinda out of topic again... Anyway... Stay focus... I managed to start exercising already... Went cycling for an hour... Cycle from my place to Telok Blangah Heights... Almost reached my Primary School, but I didn't ride till there, was like 200m away only... Anyway... It already collapsed... But I will always remember Jagoh Primary School... Where good things happened... Anyway again... I cycle back home after that... And when I'm about to reach home... I extended my exercising time... And cycle to West Coast... Again... I didn't managed to reach West Coast Mac Donald's though... And I U-TURN... The nature of Singaporeans from what I heard... Hahahaha... Only EAP under-grads or grads will know what I mean... Hahahaha... And finally reached home after an hour of exercise... Ahoy...!!! Need to constantly maintain my discipline to continue my work out...

WAOH...!!! Just receive a reply from my team leader regarding some problems I faced... She is efficient... So happy about that... It does help to solve problems... I think... I started to love team work now... Instead of my past liking of being a loner and agreeing to only myself that my ideas are the greatest on Earth... But they changed my perception... And luckily for me... I open up myself to accept them... Thanks to EAP and all my beloved mentors...!!!

2006-12-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

Entrepreneur Action Program, Day 2...

Have had a SUPER ENRICHING day of learning experiences... So GREAT that I don't know where to start... I've learn about having an Entrepreneur Mindset = Think with an Entrepreneur Brain instead of a Consumer... Put down MY EGO = What YOU Think of ME is None of MY Business (In a good way of course)... Team Work = Better Ideals and Supplement My Idea... Myself = What I think of MYSELF vs What I really am... And so much so much more... It's beyond words to descibe the feelings I gained from this course... If YOU WANT TO gain a different experience in life and really take charge of YOUR life, YOU MUST go for this program... It's really good... And guess what... I've decided to sign up for another program called Money and YOU... It's another interesting, exciting, enriching and rewarding program for ME to know myself better... It kinda burn a hole in my pocket... But I know that I'M investing good money and time in this... And I will definitely gain a few thousand folds back in years to come... Or even MONTHS if I'm fast enough...

I seriously do encourage people who are trying to have a change in their lives, or wanted to add value to themselves... It will definitely be a mind blowing course that YOU never think of ever getting it...

Business Opportunities are EVERYWHERE...!!! I just can't process everything in my brain now... Need to rest my brain and think of more things to come... Joint venture or something... Must come out with a wonderful BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY PLANS or IDEAS... Opportunities are just there... It's a matter of I know it a not and can I IDENTIFY them and GRAB them...

Cool... Very cool... Actually should be sleeping by now... Or even thinking of some business opportunities... But I decided to give up everything just for this new and special friend of mine... She is so much younger than me... Yet her life experiences were tremendously opposite from mine... From her appearance, you wouldn't know or even imagine what kinda life she've been through... And I'll tell you what... She is definitely one of the bravest, toughest, strongest little girl I've ever know so far... Not as in really very very little... But as compared to my age... Is still quite a distance a part... I truely admire her courage and good will to be different from others in similar situations... I am thankful to her teacher who helped her in her well-being... Hey my dear... You have done tremendously well in the past... Move on... Don't let the bad experiences in your life hinder your growth and make you grow bad against your kind nature... Even though I don't really know you very well yet... But I truely appreciate your sincere, honest and trusting heart to share your past with an almost stranger like me... No other words can tell you how much I appreciate you other than this... *HUGS*... And you know what this means... Best wishes for everything that you do... Even though we are years a part... But I'm always a phone away... When you need someone to listen to you... Can always look for me... A good friend will provide you with FREE listening ear... And FREE good advices... Though no 100% money back return or guarantee good advices... But at least 90%... You can grab free testimonials from my close friends or read those testimonials my friends have for me in friendster... Even though I'm not fantastically praise or describe in those testimonials... But I truely appreciate everyone of my friends who gave me honest comments... And you are definitely someone, I'm going to treasure for the rest of my life... Take good care... *hugs* again...

Quote: "Good hugs are never enough... I just want to give you more..." Prince Charles...

2006-12-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

Entrepreneur Action Program, Day 1...

Attended a super enriching program known as Entrepreneur Action Program...!!! A course which I spent a considerate amount of money on it... But very rewarding... And the keyword here is VERY... Learn a lot of things today... New knowledge about the Entrepreneurs' World as well as refreshing on some of my Marketing Knowledge... Working on how to think in terms of Entrepreneurs' Mindset instead of Consumers' Mindset... It works real differently... And the way you benefit from it is also different...

Sounds easy... But really tough... Learning process is really tough... And there's so much to learn... Or maybe it's because I lacked of the knowledge... Super tiring day... And there's another FULL DAY tomorrow... Which is SUNDAY... Sigh... But... GOGOGOGOGO... I sure can do it... Thinking positive is one of the most important factor I need to think in life from NOW...!!!

Stay Motivated... Be Positive... Be Steady...

2006-11-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

Good Beginning...

Last day of pure enjoyment... Woke up around 11am today and went to meet Stephanie again for lunch... And I finally bought a Mountain Bike in the Giant Store at Vivo City... Bought it at a price of $148... The price should be ok... I suppose... So after that, ride the bicycle home... Took only around 30mins to reach home... Going to start a good habit of exercising at least once a week... Or even everyday during the week days after work... Going to tone up my body now... Can't stand myself getting fatter and fatter each day...

Last day of enjoyment... Shall go have a good rest... Shall see you guys around... A very BIG thanks to Tricia Aka Xin for tagging my almost dying blog... Thanks girl...!!! *hugs*

2006-11-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

Two Days Leave...

Too tired to move on... Sick and tired at the same time = Weak... So took two days off to rest at home and relax myself... Brain and body... Both physical and mentally exhausted... Slack for too long, thus can't really adept well for my working life... Need to wake up every morning at 7+am and prepare for work... On average, work till 7pm... So it's like around 9hrs per day from Monday to Friday... And Saturday will be from 8.30am till 1pm at least... Yawn... Left only Sunday to rest is simply not enough... Only today... When I finally slept till 4pm in the noon... That's when I realize I haven't been resting enough... Sigh... Finally able to understand the phrase, "Money is hard to earn"...

After I woke up, I went to see a doctor... And realize I'm down with sighness... That's why I've been not feeling so well recently... And able to slept till 4pm... Sick... Sick... Sick... After that though, went back home to bathe, and went to meet Stephanie for dinner... As I've yet to eat anything since morning... And haven't been catching up with her for sometime... So went to Weat Mall as it's nearer to her place... After that... Met up with Hwee Siong for a movie... Chinese Movie... "Wits of Battle"... Something like that... Lead actor is Andy Lau... The show was quite nice... Worth the money and time... $7 for around 2 hours plus... Not a bad deal eh...

Tomorrow... Or rather today now... Will sleep for as long as possible... As it seems to be one of the last good days where I can sleep till long... Will have some busy months coming up soon... Sigh... Thinking of it just gonna burn my remaining brain cells... Yawn...

Mizz my darlings so much... Especially my Shu Fang darling... Just love her so muchie... As well as others of course... Like her twin's sister Shu Wen also, and their eldest sister, Ryn... And "newly" befriended Shi Qi... Plus "might be having some misunderstanding between us" Jan... And those lovely aunts and uncles... As well as Kenley, Celest, Shalaine, Triplets, etc etc etc... So many that I don't know who I left out... Have so much to catch up with them... Especially my aunts... But having too little time to meet them... Sometimes during those gatherings felt kinda weird... Or maybe bored... I'm like inbetween the families... Age is like... Neither here nor there... Play with the kids were like... Speechless... While talking to my aunts and uncles also need to crack brain to blend well with their topics... But is kinda better to talk with my aunts and uncles though... Maybe it's time for me to grow up... Instead of remaining at the kids stage... It's just a matter of time that I will have greater gaps with my lovely young cousins... So I extremely treasure this kinda kinship with them now... Just hoping to spend more good times with them before we moved on to different stage in life... Regretted that haven't been joining such gatherings more often... Growing up is a scary process... We gain some... And we lose some... And I shall learn to move on...

Decided to buy a bicycle tomorrow... So that I will start to exercise once I recovered from my sickness... Have decide to exercise at least once a week... Cycling for a long time on weekends so that I can prepare myself for my IPPT test due before my coming 24th birthday... Yawn... 24 years old soon... Sadded... What have I achieved so far...??? Have been leading a meaningless life for so long... If only I can live again... I will cherish even more things and accomplished even more things than what I already have now... If wishes are meant to be true... I will only wish that in my next life, I will still have those people I love now to accompany me through my journey in my next life... People like my current Family Members, Auntie Joyce's Siblings and Family Members, Some of My Parents' Siblings, Some of my Cousins ---> especially from Auntie Joyce's side, My Best Friends, Irwin Ho and Huang Li Yan... These are the most important people in my life... Really appreciate their presence... And I love them all... Hope our love will last for as long as earth shall lived...

Kinda feeling so sentimental tonight... Hahahahaha... Said so much stuffs... But I really do miss them much... And trust me... If I say I miss you... It just means that I really do... At least at the point of time when I'm saying... I am thinking of you and missing you...

2006-11-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

A Great Weekend...!!!

I have had a very enjoyable weekend... Went to a family gathering at Aranda Country Club with all my love ones... Not actually all... But some... Met up with my darlings and have some good chat with them as well... Gathering is just so nice... I even found my "My Lovely Samsoon" sound track...!!! It's a bonus to me... After searching so long for it, I accidentally found it in the CD-Rama at the White Sands... LOL...

Have had a tiring week also... Work, work, work and more work... For the next 1 month will be very busy for me... Can hardly rest in the weekends even... Sigh... Have a Entrepreneur course to take... Hopefully will be an interesting and fruitful one...

Pay Day coming up too... Hahahahaha... Finally gonna get my first Full Time Salary... Need to save up most of my money though... Time to save for my future... Luckily, I do not have any girlfriend... If not, I doubt I can save anything... Need tons of money to fulfil my dreams...

Back at home now... Miss my darlings muchie... They are just so cute...

2006-11-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

FINALLY... DEED IS DONE...

Hahahahaha... Finally deleted my online game... Hero Online... Peace has been restored... And no more sleepless nights for me and my best pal... Mr Irwin Ho... I've managed to clear items in both our accounts... So that none of us will want to play again... Meaningless game... Spending so many hours grinding and leveling up for don't know what reasons... Spending so much effort, in the end was like making oneself pissed when crafting or strengthening fails... Hahahaha... Irwin will know what I'm talking about... So deed is done... No more Hero Online... But... Maybe soon he might tell me to download another online game... Hahahaha... Anyway pal, this blog has just been revived AGAIN...!!!

Finally working now... Have been working for the past 3 weeks... Still trying to manage everything... But... It's quite tough... Human relations... Work... Standards... And everything else... Sigh... Sometimes was like mentally tired... But just trying to take one step at a time... Hopefully will be able to get the hang of it soon...

Working life was pretty much the same as slacking life... Cause... I'm either working in the office... Or at home... Just love to stay at home... Going out seems so boring... Maybe it's because I'm a super boring person... And thanks to Irwin... No more chicken wings till god knows when... And only Irwin knows that... Yawn...

Kinda gained 3 kgs for the past 6 months... Sigh... Getting fatter and fatter... Need to start exercising now... Still have my Physical Training test to pass in 2 months time before my birthday... Sigh... Hopefully can pass...

2 weeks later will be pay day... LoL... Finally getting my first decent pay... Gonna spend lots of money in my bank... Saving it... Hahahahaha...

Went out to "Hanabi" Restaurant in Bukit Timah or Bukit Batok... Can't remember... Family day... And also because it's my mum's birthday... So went there to eat Japanese Buffet... The food was ok... But just that one of the waitress is having attitude problem... So it made the lunch not so worthwhile...

Anyway... Brand new start of a health lifestyle... Miss you all much, my friends and family...

2006-10-29T05:21:00.000+08:00

LAST DAY OF ENJOYMENT...!!!

Finally... Reached the day that I dread of having... Last day of enjoyment... Zzz... Starting work on Monday... I can foresee tons of stress and hard work going... Zzz... Shall update more about my job the next time as I can't really say what will I be doing and in-charge of now...

Anyway, went to Vivo City again, and bought some really nice movies... Its a brilliant show I would say... Definitely going to the top ten favorite movie list... TWO THUMBS UP, Akeelah...

Spending less time on lan-gaming... Sleeping quite a lot lately cause I can foresee having little sleep soon... Argh...!!! But maybe working life will not be as bad as I think... But just preparing for the worst... Wish me luck...

Hmmm... Short updates... Will try to be longer the next time... Just lack of things to write now... Sleeping time again... Last day of enjoyment... Argh... Let me rest more...

2006-10-23T03:47:00.000+08:00

UPDATES...!!!

WAOH...!!! Can't imagine time really FLIES...!!! Without knowing, it's been 3 weeks since I last update my dear bloggie... Have been REAL BUSY...!!! With slacking... LOL... As usual... Yawn... Tired of slacking... Yet dread going to work... Sigh... Don't know what I want... Sigh...

Most of the days I'm at home resting and online gaming... Obsessed with online gaming... ALL THANKS TO MY BEST BROTHER...!!! Mr IRWIN...!!! LOL... Gonna tarnish your reputation... LOL... Have been so crazy with the game that everyday without fail will be online... What's the reason...??? The only answer will be... I DON'T KNOW...!!! Zzz... What's the point really...??? No point at all... Maybe just trying to escape from the reality and go to the cyber world where nothing is really important... Just make sure you survive in the game... BUT...!!! I think just get mad and frustrated whenever I died... Zzz... What the heck... Playing game to relax... Yet in the end getting so pissed with the GMs and the game... ARGH...!!! PISSED...

Anyway... Maybe should start working... YES...!!! I KNOW...!!! I've been saying it like for forever...!!! But yes... I'm still at home... Blogging at this hour... Where even kids on holiday are sleeping now... Zzz... Still waiting to meet up with my aunt to discuss about the position available... Zzz... My last choice... Lazy to go out search for whatever... Lost of direction and what I like... So just grab anything... Going to get my car next year... Or the year after... (Hopefully)... Mr Irwin, sorry ya, no fetching you in my car this time round... LOL... Even though previously I said that I wanted to... But you know... What you want might not be what you can get... LOL... So... Better luck next time... And YES...!!! FINALLY you are coming back this NOVEMBER for goodness sake... Take note of the words in BOLD...!!! Just because your free ticket are going to expire eh? You baddie old crook... Grrr... LOL... Anyway... TWO DOZENS of chicken wings are still waiting for you eh... LOL... Gotta catch up lots... Definitely will be a break for you... Even though I might be working by then... (Hopefully)... But still gonna spare some time for you bro...

Back to my daily schedule... Went out few days back with some friends and family... Catch two movie quite recently... One with Hwee Siong, another with Janicia... THE DEPARTED is such a stupid show... Not actually stupid, but it's almost identical to the Infernal Affairs, just that it's in english version... Zzz... So... Practically I know what's going to happen next... So it's pretty boring... Sigh... Should have read up what's the show is about before going to watch... Argh... But another show I watch is rather fine... DEATH NOTE... Quite a nice show...!!! Japanese show... With pretty japanese girls... LOL... Not many... But just... Say... TWO...??? Just so KAWAII neh... When can I ever go to Japan to see these KAWAII girls... Zzz... Anyway... It's a show worth watching... Waiting for part two... Which I think maybe next year then the show will be launch...

Went to VIVO CITY also... Quite a BIG PLACE...!!! Very different as compared to Harbour Front... Though they are just side by side... Vivo City is somewhat similar to Marina Square... But BIGGER... Quite newly opened... So around say... Half the stores or slightly lesser, are still under renovation or maybe yet to be occupied... Heard that the rental is quite high... But business there should be good... Good location plus Marina Bay/South is going to flourish soon... Very soon... With the Casino and everything... Hmmm... If only I've the money and talent to be my very own boss...

Recently the weather is quite bad... But seems to be turning for the better soon... Haze from Indonesia... So just take good care everybody... Drink tons of water and make sure your health is in good condition... Cheers...!!!

2006-10-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

!!!...01st October 2006...!!!

What day is today...??? Other than Sunday... It's Childrens' Day too...!!! Other than Childrens' Day, today is also the day that I know Rui Yue for 7 full years...!!! LoL... So... Just sms her at around midnight... And so glad that she replied... She replied by saying that she kinda know that I would sms her at this time too... Hahahahaha... So just kinda touched and happy that she still remember too... Argh... Just missed her so much...

Anyway... Haven't been blogging for quite long... So maybe just update a bit...

Went to a seminar with Stephanie last Thursday... The topic is about Entrepreneur... Shall skip the content... But they have this program going on... Which needs a considerably amount of money to attend... Sigh... So I'm thinking whether should I go for it... Sigh... Stressed... Vexed... Troubled... Sigh... So much to think... Yet can't think of anything... Just slack and slack... Sigh... Most probably will discuss with her again on Monday and see how it goes... Because, we might join the program together... But it's still not confirm...

Kinda discuss with my parents and Irwin about this... But doesn't seems that supportive... Irwin was still quite ok with it... As in... I believe he will support my decision... Of course, only with much thoughts maybe... So shall just spend today thinking about it... Actually wanted to discuss with Li Yan also... But think she's kinda busy... But shall see how... Would like to hear her comments too... My two best friends... Of course would like to hear their comments...

Haven't been talking to many people recently... Like... This... And that... And so many more... Having some young friends and cousins taking exams soon... So shall just wish them good luck... Especially... All of them...

Hmmm... Like not as talkative as the past... LoL... Shall go off for now then...

2006-09-17T04:02:00.000+08:00

Updates...!!!

Sigh... What a day... These few days have been busy playing online games with my best friend... Mr Lin... LoL... Always thought your surname was Ho instead... Cause it's like Ho Harlim... LoL... Got it now...!!! Anyway... I can't login... That's why I'm here blogging...

Argh... Was like wondering why the lag at this hour... Sigh... So I just went browsing around "other" peoples' blogs... Or rather only two... One updated... One still the same... Thought she would be online today to update her blog... But she didn't... Not sure whether is she online a not... Anyway... Hope you are recovering from your sickness... If you've finished your medication... Please go see a doctor... I'm talking about you, Miss Janicia...!!! I know you won't listen to me as you only listen to your dearest darling... Zzz... But anyway... Whatever... Can't be bothered already... Expecting too much will not bring any good to any of us... So... Whatever...

Kinda apply for a number of jobs as usual... Still no reply yet... Boring... Even though I am doing nothing... But time really flies... Sigh... What the hell have I been doing all along...??? Can't imagine how can I let time passed just like that... But let me just rest after being so tired for the past 3 years...

Never thought that my ex-colleague, Miss Charlotte, will be in quite good terms with me... Please don't be mistaken... I'm just trying to say that we are quite good friends than expected...!!! Even though I just temp in RE for 2 months... But still made quite a number of friends there... Even now... 4 months after quitting... We are still in touch...!!! Hmmm... This reminds me of some other friends that I know through RE... Well... RE stands for Recruit Express... Anyway... Have a good chat with Charlotte recently... She helped me to "re-format" my resume... Hahahaha... So I just sent out... Let's see if I would get a reply from them... But anyway... Really grateful to have such a good friend...!!!

Today is Aunty Grace's Birthday... She is Janicia's mum...!!! Hopefully they will spend a great time celebrating together...!!! Happy Birthday Aunty Grace...!!!

These two days went out for dinner with my family... LoL... Kinda nice... Better than always eating "take-away" food every night... Even though we went to eat "zi-cah"... Meaning... "Cook-fried" in chinese... Meaning... We ordered rice and some dishes to go along with it... To make it simple... It's just a dinner... That's why I said dinner in the first place... So stop confusing yourself... Hmmm... Might be going for lunch tomorrow also... Ah... Kinda good to enjoy some quality time with the whole family... Make me feel like having my own home... Having the best wife on earth to tender and care for... To cherish and share life with... But that's still a long way to go... Didn't even have a girlfriend yet... But... Who cares... Don't even had a job... So why bother so much now... The girl I like also can't be with... But never mind... What the hell am I blabbering about... Zzz... Don't bother me... Anyway... Playing with my nephew these few days... Kinda find myself stupid... Acting so childishly... But I think that's the way... Playing with kids should be child-like too... But...!!! Kinda afraid that I can't be a really good daddy now... Not prepared... To change diapers... To feed her with milk... To play with her... To carry her around... To keep her close to me at all times... To tender and love her... Just so many things to do... OH...??? Why is it a her...?? Ok... That's because I prefer baby girls than boys... Hahahaha... But... Should have a baby boy first so that he can take care of his sister in the near future... Hmmm... But typically boys are harder to tame... Yet girls need more of my time to take note of her... Oh My God... Saying so much yet still so confusing... Hopefully my kid will either be a HE or a SHE... Can't stand the shock of having a He-She or a She-He... OOPS...!!! Not hopefully...!!! It's a MUST...!!! What the hell am I blabbering again... ARGH...!!! Not even attached yet I'm worrying about the life of my daughter... Maybe I can't even find a girlfriend ultimately... And have to stay single for the rest of my life... Watching my nephews and nieces get married and have their own kids while I'm still single... Being an old, ugly, unwanted elderly... Zzz... Am I dreaming now... Zzz...

Just kinda miss Shirley recently... Looking back at those photos of us... Hahahaha... Really sweet and nice... LoL... No worries bro... I'm not drifting back... I'm moving on... Those are just some memories of me and her... So just doing some recaps of my past lives... I won't dwell over it... Anyway... Maybe it's good that we are not together... Hahahaha... As long as she is happy and I am now... Even if we managed to pass through "that" crisis... We might not be lasted till now... It's been like... One and a half year or something since we broke up... Kinda... Can't really remember when we broke up also... (Actually I do...) But anyway... It's over... So move on... Oh ya... Make sure you come back in November... Kinda miss you too... It's not mushy okay... We are best friends...!!! Hahahaha... Will treat you go pubbing and eat the half dozen chicken wings again... Or maybe we can order one dozen... I'm putting on weight you know...??? Argh...!!! That's unforgiveable... Hope to see you soon...

2006-09-12T16:29:00.000+08:00

Things to say...

Just find out that the more you expect something from someone you love... The more you can't get it... Maybe it's more of a one sided thingy... But what's the point of saying it when she doesn't mean it...??? There are only two reasons... One is... She don't mean it... Another is... She don't know how to express... And I choose to believe that she don't mean it because she can show it to other people that she likes and not you... Think anyone would felt the same way too... Getting so sick and tired of it after so long... One word of advice... Don't expect something from people who are not expecting the same from you... You will just end up hurting yourself... And she...??? Will not feel a thing for you... So... Just let go and move on... Don't wanna care about it anymore...

2006-09-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

ARGH...!!!

Kinda vexed... Done some crazy stuffs again... Or rather... Say some crazy stuffs again... In the end... Messing up my mood again... AGAIN...!!! Zzz... What is wrong with me exactly... Maybe I'm too slack... Zzz... Sigh... It's sucks to grow old...

Nothing much to blog today... Just feeling that everyone seems leaving... Once seems so close... But now... Everyone is just drifting away... Like a boat off the shore... Sigh...

Maybe I'm too irritating... Argh... Vexed... Time for self-reflections...

2006-09-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

It's A Celebration...!!!

Kinda cool... Having two birthday celebrations in a day... Both my beloved cousins' birthday...!!! One is Celest and the other is Shalaine... Quite nice... Though not very very exciting... But just kinda take it as a gathering for me to catch up with my beloved relatives...

Rather tired in the morning... Even though I'm suppose to wake up at around 9am in the morning for don't know what reason... But luckily I didn't... So went back to sleep and drag the time until around 11 plus am before I finally wake up... Then I went to bake a cake for them as a present... Quite easy to make though... Because I bought the pre-mix pack... Previously suppose to make for Eryn... But that time made cookies for her... Which needs more effort and patience... And now I don't really have a choice to buy any better gifts... Kinda... So... Just made a cake for them... Through the comments from all those who ate it... Seems that I'm a qualified baker... Erm... Or rather pre-mix baker... LoL... Easy task... Should learn to bake from scratch instead... Anyway... Even though it's pre-mix pack... But the shape is not nice... And... It's my second try of my 23 years of life baking it... So... Need tons of practice... My aunts suggest me open up a bakery shop... Hahahahahahaha... What a joke... But I do have slight interest cooking and baking stuffs... Especially when its for my love ones...

Saw Eryn, Janicia, Shu Fang, Shu Wen, etc, etc, etc... But kinda weird feeling... Sigh... Seems like our relationship is not that close anymore... Or maybe never that close before... Sigh... Have been thinking and expecting too much... Ultimately... Guys and girls should keep a distance... Sigh... Saw Janicia first, because we reach kinda around the same time... Say between 2 to 3pm... Kinda around there... Too tired to remember the time... But didn't really talk to her... Why...??? I don't know... She don't feel like talking to me... And I can't really talk to her... Not as in can't... But... Nevermind... Ask her go try my cake... But she doesn't seems really that interested... Eryn, Shu Fang and Shu Wen also... Zzz... All not supportive... Even though ultimately they did eat it... Sigh... My expectations again... I guess... If Eryn ask me go try, full until going to burst I will still try... Erm... Not only Eryn... Maybe any of my cousins who make the effort of making a cake... But nevermind... Sigh... Didn't talk much with Eryn and the others as well... Expected... As she is always quiet... And don't think she ever have anything to talk to me... I'm not the guy in her camp who can chat with her for whole night... Zzz... What am I jealousing about here... Zzz... Crazy fellow...

Sigh... Next time don't know what can I do for such celebrations... Zzz... Ran out of ideas... Because... I only know how to make such pathetic stuffs... Come to think of it... Maybe my cousin Shalaine is too young to appreciate such gift... But... Forget it... No more next time...

Will be more tactful from now in giving presents to people... Sigh... What a day... Super tired... But once I reached home... Kinda felt energetic again... So was up till now... Even though I'm kinda dead beat when I'm at her house... *yawn*... Kinda feeling tired now... Gotta replenish my sleep tonight...

Should have a rest now... Sigh... What's the point of having a blog when you can't say everything here... Zzz... Should have a written book diary so can write everything single thing in there... Ultimately... I still have yet to let go totally... Still quite bothered by it... Vexed over stupid stuffs... What's the point... Sigh... Drifting a part... Further and further away from each other... The closer I think we are... The further we gets... As time pass by... We might not even remember each other... Sleep is the best...

2006-09-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

Sigh...

Actually don't want to blog today... But again... Kinda vexed over some stuffs... Not really very very vexed though... So was like thinking about it... Sigh...

How can human change so fast...??? Sigh... Or am I too irritating... Or what...??? Sigh... Kinda get bothered by it so much... Still thought we can be kinda good friends... But... It comes like a wind... And gone like a wind too... Chatted with someone... But the feeling is no longer the same... Those laughters and things we used to share are no longer there... Am I being too over sensitive...??? Or have I been expecting too much from that friend...??? Zzz... What the hell am I doing or complaining about... Sigh...

Saturday... Going to my cousin's house to celebrate her birthday... Or rather their birthdays... Sigh... Don't even know what to buy from them or what... Sigh... Previously Eryn's birthday I baked her some cookies... If I don't make cookies again... I think people will just gossip about it... But I don't have the mood to make it... But buy things... Also don't know what to buy... Plus... Previously give the girls handphone chains... And the rest don't have... ARGH... Stupid things... Why do I need to explain to people why I buy for some and not for all...??? Even though people might not ask... They will just think inside their minds why am I so bias or whatever crap... Sigh... But shall see how... I need to go not because I really really wanted to go... But half the reason is that I don't really have the choice... I mean... I can choose not to go, but I can't choose not to go... Sigh... Whatever it is... I need to go... Presents, presents, presents... What should I get... Or maybe bake some brownies as I still have the ingredients... Do I even have a choice to buy instead of make... ARGH... Stupid ass... After all those efforts... It just adds up to more troubles... Even simple gathering might have people asking irritating questions... And if I make brownies again this time... Next year somebody's birthday... What can I make again...??? Shouldn't even make the cookies in the first place right...??? That's the problem of not thinking too much... Who the hell I think I am...

Sigh... Why the sudden change in our friendship...??? Sigh...

Still have a few nice vcd and dvd with my friends... Like 秋天的童话 and 新娘十八岁... Sigh... Don't know when can I get them back... For 秋天的童话 is still ok... Don't get back also never mind... The most I can buy one new set, because I will never have the chance to meet the person who borrow from me... As for 新娘十八岁, it's with Fannie... Also quite tough to meet her... But chances are higher...

Sigh... Maybe things changes are for the better... I think I've been thinking too much... That's why vexing for some stupid reasons...

Have been super tired lately... Don't know what's the reason also... Just so freaking tired of everything... A sign of laziness...??? Sick and tired of such things... Begone everyone... Every unnecessary stuffs...

2006-09-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

Tiring Day...

Sigh... What a day... Overslept today... Even though I do not have anything on... Kinda shocked that I woke up so late... That was like around 5:30pm... Zzz... I'm a good sleeper... But why my eye rings are still so dark... Zzz... Are there any jobs like being a vampire or something... Zzz... Feeling so lazy... Very lazy indeed...

Argh... Without knowing... Time passed so quickly... It's been 4 long months since I stopped working... 4 months... Around 120 days... Waoh... Can anyone imagine that I'm so lazy...??? I think everyone can... Sigh... Have been complaining and complaining for like so long... Yet I have done nothing to change anything... What's my problem actually... Zzz...

Have I been thinking too much or people around me are just evolving...??? Sigh... Especially those who are kinda close to me... Or rather I like... Sigh... Bad change... Sigh...

One of my bestest friend is having problems in kinda relationships... Not that she is in a relationship... But just kinda traumatized by some people who likes her... Sigh... But it really depends on who she really likes and with who will she feel secure and have a future with... Thinking about this... I kinda lose the experiences I previously had... Sigh... Thinking of it now... When I'm trying to put myself in her shoes... I was like thinking... Out of so many "candidates"... Who should I choose...??? And why should I choose her instead of another...??? Sigh... In the end... My conslusion is... Do I really love any of them... No point starting something that will end... No future at all with anyone... Even though I think I might like someone... Or even may have some possible candidates to choose... But... I don't even know whether they like me a not... Not to even mention love... We just know each other so superficially... What the crap... Still such a long way into a relationship... Plus gaps here and there... Zero understanding about one another... Craps... Thinking too much... That's why people go to work or keep themselves busy to prevent them from thinking so much nonsense... Sigh... Going into a relationship is really not easy... It's really hard to fall in love... Not just liking someone or making someone likes u... It's about falling in LOVE... Not falling in LIKE... If you get what I mean... It's just so tough... But how do you know whether is it love or just infatuation...??? Well... It's pretty much obvious... Whether do you guys have feelings for each other... Super strong feelings... Does your character match...??? Are both of you willing to sacrifice for one another...??? Are there any understanding between both of you...??? Such things are little symbols of loving someone... How could you love someone you don't understand...??? Sigh... Talking too much craps... Zzz... What had happened to me... Sigh...

Felt like falling in love... But... Not really also... Too use to singlehood... No money... No career... No house... No car... No credit card... No time... No figure... No energy... No style... No looks... No anything... Sigh... What's the point of getting a girlfriend then...

When can I found my sparks of life to make my whole world turn...???

2006-09-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

Tuesdays, 05th September 2006...

Argh... Actually don't want to blog... But in the end still comes in... LoL... Anyway... Today is Hui Ying's birthday... Also one of my good friend... And also Wai Kok's girlfriend... Guess what...??? They have been together for 7 years... Waoh... Cool... LoL... So Happy Birthday Hui Ying...!!!

Went out with Shun Cai and Hwee Siong today... They stay over last night... So we just went out for Mac Donald supper... Chat awhile and watch some movies at my place... So this morning... We went out for K-lunch at Kbox located at Lucky Chinatown... Grrr... Angry over this matter... Went all the way there and eat... HAINANESE CHICKEN RICE... Zzz... Kbox at Cineleisure is having SUSHI... While we are having Chicken Rice...??? So mad about it... But never mind... That will be the last time I go there too... Old songs... Lousy lunch... Not a place worth going...

After that... I went to Cathay cinema to watch two movies with Shun Cai, as Hwee Siong need to go back camp to work... So we watched Barnyard and Monster House... Barnyward was a completely lame show... Zzz... A little funny... But... Not worth the time and money... Not up to my expectations... So... Better not watch it... As for Monster House... Hmmm... Still ok... If you have extra money and have nothing to do... Maybe still can watch it... If not... Save the money up...

After the movies... We went to eat Dining @ Sakae located besides Plaza Singapura... Zzz... It's the second worst Sakae I ever been to... Food was ok... But service was terrible... Almost con me to eat something I did not order... So angry... Treat me like an idiot... I should just told him off... Him = waiter... That I am not an idiot... I don't get the Sakae VIP card for nothing... I can still differentiate wat is Hamachi Head and Hamachi Kama... Grrr... So pissed... But anyway... That will be my one and only time there... No more chance given... Lousy shop... Not worth patronizing again... You must be wondering which is the worst Sakae in Singapore... To me... It will be Harbour Front Sakae... Zzz... Speechless would be the word to describe it... I didn't went to all Sakae in Singapore though... But some are quite good... Best would be North Point Sakae... I've been there a number of years back... And at that time... It was superb... If I did not remember wrongly of course... But if I do, then too bad... I haven't been there like for ages... Anyway... The second best was Sakae at Bishan Junction 8 Shopping Centre... Nice, nice, nice... And maybe a few more nice shops like... Sakae in Parco Bugis Junction, The Heeren Shops, Tiong Bahru Plaza, Heartland Mall, West Mall and Suntec City Tower 3... Others Sakae like... Funan Digitalife Mall, OUB Centre, Lot 1 and Toa Payoh Entertainment Centre was like not bad... A few others I never been to... So couldn't rate it... Just simply love Japanese Cuisin...

Anyway... That's about all for my day... Came home and chatted with Li Yan for over an hour... LoL... Nice chat... Always having nice chats with her... So glad to have her around...

Hmmm... One of my close buddy... Hao Cheng... Had went back to Hong Kong to continue his studies... Sigh... Maybe would be able to meet him again at the end of the year when he comes back...

As usual... Irwin is still there in Australia... Sigh... Don't know when will he be back... Argh... Come back soon my brother... Gonna have lots of fun when you are back... And definitely good food too...

Hmmm... Kinda get hooked up in "My Lovely Sam Soon/My Name Is Kim Sam Soon" lately... Nice, funny Korean Drama... Wanted to watch Full House after this... Another nice show by 宋慧乔... Super pretty, sweet, cute, kind, gentle, loving, nice, gorgeous korean lady... Starring in numurous nice shows... And one of them are 秋天的童话... Simply sweet... Anyway... The actress starring in My Lovely Sam Soon/My Name Is Kim Sam Soon is by the name of 金善雅... Quite pretty in some ways... Funny lady... Very nice actress also... So if you have time, should go watch the shows...

Hmmm... Some people might ask... What's so good about blogging...??? Or what's so good about my blog... Hmmm... In my blog... You will get to hear some reviews depending on where I go and what I do... Whether is it good or bad... It's a free channel to help people advertised their firms if it's good... Nice movies, good food, etc etc... And also help to warn people about stuffs that are bad... Example... Bad eating experience at somewhere... Or what lousy movies have I watched... Of course... It's not a 100% sure tip... But... At least they are my honest opinions... You can take it as a rough guide...

Haven't been seeing one particular girl for quite some time... Don't know what is she busying with... Sigh... Just hope can chat with her soon... I'M NOT MISSING HER, FOR GOODNESS SAKE... Just that kinda think of her... Hmmm... Have been thinking of some people rather recently... Hope that everyone are fine... HEY... I'm not a flirt... Just in case you think that way... Just that these special people are just some who I missed lately... Though almost all are girls... That's because I'm closer to the female species as I've said much earlier... Anyway... Those who know me will know that...

Anyway... Goodnight folks... Tag me often please... Anything you want to say or don't want to say... As long as they are your utmost honest comments... I welcome anything... Other than vulgarities...!!! Thanks people... Miss you lots... Especially... Someone... Not any someone who I had written before in my blog... But... Someone... Can you guessed who you are...??? Maybe "she" know it... Hahahahahaha... Lame... Nobody knows it though... I don't think that "she" will know it too... Or even think about it... But... Who cares... Goodnight... But hope she might miss me too... Hahahaha... For whatever reasons...

2006-09-03T05:31:00.000+08:00

Back To Normal...

Maybe... Maybe not... But things are just working out rather fine now... With someone... Hmmm... Trying to tune back the notes to how it should be... Peace is better than chaos... Just hope that things will turn out fine once again...

But things arn't really going well with another... Sigh... Don't know what really went wrong somewhere or whatever... Sigh... Can't be bother also from now... Since whatever I do or what is practically useless... Nothing can be done to save it...

Sigh...

记得那段岁月，当我还是世界的主人翁。。。我就象漫步在云端，感觉轻飘飘的，连喉咙都会颤抖。。。我喜欢这种感觉，好象爱情已经满到喉咙，发出了悦耳的声响。。。曾经有个人带给我这种幸福，却又夺走了。。。现在我之所以哭泣，并不是因为失去了她。。。爱情，曾经那么火热，却又不留痕迹的消失。。。令人难以置信，所以哭泣。。。了解到爱情根本算不了什么，所以我才哭泣。。。心痛爱情的无力感，所以我才哭泣。。。

当时并不知道，她对我所做的许许多多承诺，是多么的虚无缥缈。。。如果没有那些承诺，如今不会这么痛苦。。。明明知道都是谎言，我讨厌自己宁愿受骗。。。我讨厌自己，仍然被她的无意义的眼神触动着。。。我讨厌自己这样的自责。。。当你失去爱情，也许就如同失去了对自己的信心。。。

2006-09-02T03:29:00.000+08:00

Secondary School Gathering...

ARGH... What a gathering today... Or rather yesterday... Doesn't make any difference though... Went pubbing at boat quay... Grrr... Play games and drink liquor... Argh... Keep drinking because keep losing... Hahahahahaha... Drink until I puke... Grrr... Terrible feeling now... Puke until nothing come out now... That's the worst feeling... Sigh... Don't really enjoy pubbing or drinking... But it's like a group gathering... So my choice is to go along... I can choose not to drink also... But... Just go with the flow... Can't be sitting there alone doing nothing... But I know my limit... That's why I'm still awake... If not, I won't be blogging at this hour... 3:30am in the morning... Later in the morning I gonna be dead... Because this gross feeling is in me... I will get it when I wake up later... Sigh...

Had a great time with my friends... Total of 8 friends... Including myself... Didn't really chat a lot... Mostly just play games... Card games, guessing games, etc etc... Kinda fun... But drinking is not fun... Zzz...

Hmmm... Weekends coming... Most probably would be watching "My Lovely Sam Soon" during this weekend... Wanted to finish it... Very hilarious show... Just love the way "Sam Soon" dance... Damn funny...

Applied for a few jobs lately... So shall just wait for replies if lucky... If not... Work harder...

Sms Jing last night... But she never reply... Maybe she had fallen a sleep... Or maybe my sms doesn't need a reply... But never mind... Small matter...

Kinda drifting a part with "someone"... Or rather "sometwo"... Or maybe more... Strange feeling now... Sad... But my presence is completely redundent now... Just felt that way... Maybe it's better also... Things just falls back to normal...

Argh... The terrible feeling still there... *Puke, puke, Puke*...

Will go bathe now and play online game for awhile before I go to bed... If not... I might puke on my bed later... Sigh... Terrible feeling...

Moral of the story... Don't ever drink... Because... Drinking sucks...

2006-09-01T17:26:00.000+08:00

Foolish Talk...

Just realized when you thought that being an umbrella for someone is so sweet... That you can shield her from rain... But... Do you know that "someone" actually don't need you at all... Because that "someone" love to walk in the rain... And have no intention of having an umbrella... So what's the point of being someone's umbrella when you are simply redundent... Zzz... Foolish talk... And maybe it's time to try being someone elses umbrella instead... Someone who needs you... No point brooding over it...

2006-09-01T02:31:00.000+08:00

Friday, 01st September 2006...

Today is a special day... Delegated to all teachers in Singapore...!!! Not only Today is Teacher's Day... But it's also one of my aunty's birthday... She is none other than Aunty Karen... One of my nanny when I'm young... Kinda late to sms her just now... So I thought of doing it in the morning... Erm... Or rather afternoon when I wake up...

Skipped blogging for a few days as I didn't have the patience to sit in front of my computer to type out the daily events... But shall write a super long blog now...

Kinda read through Andrea's blog recently... Cool... She's really a very clever girl... I mean... The way she use her words and stuffs were brilliant... Hahahaha... No wonder she's from RGS... But anyway... One of the many benefits of being her friend is... You can never stop learning new things from her... Argh... She's just so nice... But anyway... Get back to my encounters... She invited me down to listen to a "talk" on Wednesday... Hmmm... Kinda drizzling in the evening, and made me felt like staying at home... As lazy as always... But can't bear to lie to Andrea... And kinda curious what is it about, so I went down... After listening the first part of the "talk", kinda have an idea what's it all about... Actually felt like I have wasted my time there... But thinking that Andrea invited me down, erm... Even though she is not there due to her night classes in NUS, and Stephanie was not feeling well, so she have to missed the talk as well... Anyway... I pressed on... Thinking that I shouldn't just leave the "talk" halfway... It would be rude... And... I think I should give myself a chance to hear what is it about before deciding on my own to think that it is what I think, but apparently not... I'm not sure whether do you get what I'm trying to say... But anyway... I'm glad that I pressed on... Learnt new stuffs ultimately... Thanks Andrea for inviting me down...!!! And I seriously do appreciate a wonderful friend like you...

On Wednesday itself... In the afternoon... Was like having my usual routine of things-to-do at home... But was kinda looking after my baby nephew also... So cute... LoL... Never thought that I would love babies... Not as in all babies... But thought I would prefer baby girls... Hahahahaha... But when I see such adorable infant... Just can't help but carry him and play with him... Not really as in play... Because he's like only 3 months old... And I discovered that babies are heavy... Kinda admire my sister-in-law having such strength to carry the baby so often... Hahahahahaha... Kinda afraid that I might drop him if I carry too often... Zzz... Weakling me... Oh yah, that adorable, kind, sweet, handsome, good little boy would be Xie Sheng Hang... No christian name yet... As my brother would like "him" to decide on his own when he grows up... I guess that is better... I don't want to be name any tom, dick or harry if I'm him... So I rather choose it myself... But Chinese name is of no choice... Parents' pick are still the best... Parents' here refers to my brother and his wife... Sigh... Talking about names... Kinda wanted to choose a better name as well... Previously when I was in secondary school... I chose this name, Charles... But kinda getting more and more popular with people nowadays... Kinda bothered by the way people naming themself exactly like me... Grrr... If I can think of something better... And less common... Then I might just changed it... Or maybe I should just call myself Fairy... LOL... Because I'm rather fair in complexion... But "Fairly" seems kinda weird... Fairy seems nice... LOL... Weirdo me... Lame talk... Zzz...

Anyway... Move on to Thursday... Nothing much as usual... But wanted to go to Singapore Expo Centre for the Comex Show... It's an IT show... And one of my good friend, Hwee Siong, is having off day... So asked me along... Since he is driving, then I just go along with him... If we were to take MRT... I would rather stay at home to sleep... Zzz... Expo is freaking far from my place... So we drive there... When we reached... Apparently the carparks there are fully booked... Not suppose to be apparently though... But today is a freaking Thursday...!!! And we reached there like 1:30pm in the afternoon... Can't imagine how is it possible that the carparks there are full...!!! Plus hundreds of cars waiting for a chance to get in... Zzz... What a day... It's raining heavily somemore... So after some discussion... We decided to go Tiong Bahru Plaza to catch a movie... That's our initial plan... But due to the stupid comex show... We have to postpone it... But ultimately, we still go back to watch... Kinda late for 5 minutes when we reached... But still go for it if not, we will have to wait till 4:30pm for the next show... We watched "The Devil Wears Prada"... Previously, I thought that its suppose to be a nice show... But... Kinda disappointed after watching... Conclusion... I don't get the whole point of the show really... Zzz... The show is more of like a so-called "fat" and normal girl, in terms of modelling context, joined a fashion magazine firm to be a personal assistant of the director or something... Due to some blah blah blah reasons, the director decided to employ her which in real life that might not have happened... But anyway... It's a movie... Movie made the impossible, possible... So... She got in the firm... With some downs initially before getting the hang of the job... She's kinda dejected and wanted to quit... But... Due to some blah blah reasons... She managed to survive in the position... But kinda loses her friends and boyfriend... Which in fact should not be the case... At least for what I felt... Her friends are just kinda "naive" at a point of time, playing around with her mobile when her boss called during her gathering with them... So she kinda get pissed and screwed them... It's obviously her friends fault yet they think that she had changed... Zzz... Another thing is that being the Personal Assistant of a big shot, her working hours are damn long without proper off days and such... And due to this, her boyfriend couldn't show her understanding and problems occurred... One incident is when she can't celebrate her boyfriend's birthday with him due to an event... So her boyfriend was kinda upset... FOR GOODNESS SAKE... I was like thinking... Is he made of candy floss or something...??? It's just a birthday... What's the whole point about it... Getting a year older... I mean... It's not like she did not get back before the clock strikes 12... She did tried to get back as early as possible... But... It's a movie... So... Blah blah blah... Time passes... And lesser time to meet... And more time to quarrel... Ultimately... They breakup... Her life went on... Getting better in her role as a personal assistant... Until the point she realized that she have lost the important thing in life and have to give up her job to retain whatever is like before... And more of blah blah blah... She finally get back with her boyfriend in the end... But... I don't get what's the movie trying to tell...??? There is one part which the actress keeps on focusing in the movie... "I don't have a choice"... Which in fact she do... Everyone of us do... No one is without a choice... Everyday... Everyone... Everything... We do have a choice... It's only what we choose to do and what not... So never say you don't have a choice because you always do... It's just what you choose in the end... That's your choice... So don't regret... But anyway... Still don't really understand the movie... If anyone out there reading this blog wanted to watch the movie... Please let me know your comments by tagging me or whatever... We can share our views... Thanks folks...

When I reach home... Got online and saw Jing... Finally... After so long... But didn't managed to chat with her much and I had to go off... Sigh... Then watch tv and stuffs... My brother then come in my room, to use my computer... Zzz... Made me couldn't blog earlier... And guess what...??? It's 3am in the morning now... Zzz... Made me stayed up so late to blog only... Zzz... Or maybe later going to watch "My Name Is Kim Sam Soon"... Another very funny and nice Korean Drama... Damn funny... But anyway... Previously watched a variety programme on Channel U... "Just Shoot" or don't know what... Hosted by Xuan Yi Feng and Xu Zheng Rong... The topic is about BGR... At what age is it appropriate to have a boyfriend or girlfriend... So people just voice out... Some said when they are 14 years old, they had one already... While others are even younger... Say age 12 onwards... What they will do when going "steady"... Will they school work gets affected...??? How long will they last... And such... Most cases... Going into a relationship at a young age is practically bound to fail... Due to... They don't really know what's love is all about... To them... Most of them... It's just a feeling that I like him/her, and he/she likes me to... Then be together... But... Going into a relationship is definitely more than just liking or if some people insist, love one another... Which I purely think that's not really the case... Because... Love is much more than that... It's beyond what you can think of at the age of 15 or 16... Unless you are matured and really think a lot... But not necessary the case too... Because... They just get blinded by the sweetness of it... Being in a relationship... It includes commitments, feelings, understandings, honesty, responsibilities, and many others... How can a young kid be able to handle all these...??? I wouldn't say that I matured at a young age... But I do see the facts of relationships... That's why I kinda had my first girlfriend when I'm 18... Sweet 18... Zzz... It's still not stable though... Even though I believe we would be the perfect couple till now, if we are still together... But due to some problems... Which I never knew that it would exist, until then... But anyway... We do have great understanding of one another, similar interest, similar kinda people, as in nature and personality... Erm... Something like that... But anyway... I believed that we were the perfect match... But due to some blah blah blah reasons... We didn't work out... Can't really say the whole story out in detailed here as to protect the third party... So shall just stop here... Anyway... What I'm trying to say is that... Even at the age of 18... When we are teenagers and no longer young kids... We can't really make things work out fine too, due to realistic problems... What else can we say about young relationships...??? Shall elaborate more in my "second" relationship... She is quite a different girl from me... But still a nice girl... That's why we get together... But we have skipped the most important step in any relationships... That is... To understand one another whether are we suitable... We lasted for almost three years... We shared a relationship which I would described as "life-and-death" relationship, due to the encounters we been through... But... It still ended... Understanding is one major problem that we need to know... People would say... Once you be together, you will understand each other more... Yes and No... Why...??? Because, before two people get together... You have all reasons to ask one another what you like...??? What you want...??? What pisses you off...??? But... When you get attached... They would expect you to know and not ask... Being a friend and boyfriend is totally different thing... That's how important the step of understanding is in every relationships... With understanding, the relationship might not even work out well... What's more in a relationship without understandings...??? Maybe I'm not right... But these are my views... Or maybe I can explain better in conversation than in writing... Even though my second relationship lasted for almost three years... But it still ended... Every endings will break my heart... Because... I put in effort and love in that relationship... So I wouldn't want any of my beloved friends to suffer the same fate as me... "Thinking much wouldn't help sometimes... As things wouldn't go as planned... And things might work out fine sometimes even if you don't plan..." These are some phrases people would use... But to think about it... In whatever things that we do... We did planned... It's just a matter of whether is it a long term plan or a short term plan... Go think about it... Life is all about planning... Even later should I go to bed or watch my korean drama, is also a plan... If you get what I mean... So... You should at least know that short term wise... Will it work...??? With those understandings, bad-habits, feelings, differences, similarities, etc etc... Because... I used to take relationships seriously... Until I made the mistake of my life... Which I try to bear in mind not to make the same stupid mistake again for taking relationship so lightly... Maybe that's why... I have been slacking till now... Maybe it's just an excuse for myself... But... Just hate myself for choosing the wrong girl to be my third girlfriend... It's a wrong choice that I've made... And I can only blame myself for it and open my eyes and heart big to see whoever capable candidate in the future... I can't afford to make the same mistake again... If not... I will become a badder and badder guy... I need to be like the past me... I need...

After blabbering so much... Time to go off... Please feel free to share your comments if you feels that I'm talking rubbish or have different point of views... I would love to exchange ideas and thinkings with people around... Thanks... Because... I'm not always right... It's just my point of view...

2006-08-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 29th August 2006...

I'll blog about yesterday... Which is Monday, because now is only 4am in the morning of this Tuesday... Hmmm... But anyway... Actually don't feel like blogging, but just come online as it's my usual practice...

Sigh... Actually suppose to meet Janicia today for another "date"... But... She can't make it again... Sigh... So most probably I just need to find my own entertainment... Most probably just going to have ample rest again... Hahahaha... My all time favourite hobby... But need to find something more meaningful...

Went to a mini workshop today... Andrea Aka Mei Xin invited me... And by chance, I asked Stephanie along... The workshop is about "Smart Money"... More of like a mini learning lecture how to earn BIG money instead of being a normal person... With some reference on books by Robert Kiyosaki... And some other good books on making BIG money or being a millionaire... Seems like some con stuffs... But it's quite a good lesson learnt about life and reality... Instead of just leading a normal life... We can actually live life to the fullest... Hard to explain much here... Even though had gain some experience through the talk... But still kinda slack and blah blah blah... Sigh... Do have some thinkings... But no money to start... So better start earning some active incomes than just thinking of passive incomes but without money to invest in... Hmmm... After the talk, actually thought of going home... So Stephanie accomany me to take bus back as we were heading the same direction... But kinda felt hungry... So in the end... Went to Pasir Panjang Food Centre to eat supper... LOL... Had a very full supper... At like almost one and a half big plate of rice... Plus Sting Ray, Cuttlefish with Kang Kong and "La-La", a kinda clams or something... Till now I was like still very full... In the end, chatted awhile and reached home around 10mins past midnight... Didn't send her home though... But asked her to take a cab back... A good day spent...

Oh yah... Anyway... Stephanie is a good friend of mine for more than 10 years... Ever since we were in secondary one, we have been classmates... So it's like more than 10 years of friendship with this girl... We do have some ups and downs... Normally if she do have problems, will consult me... So I'll try to give her some precious advice... Sometimes would be angry with her due to some reasons... But afterall... We still managed to work out well... Hahahahaha... Glad to have her as my good friend... Shall published her pics here if I do have it... A nice, quite good looking, sweet in times, cute in times, kind, naive or quite fairy-tale like, strange in times, don't understand her quite many times, plus many more which I have yet to discover... Hahahaha... Sounds strange isn't it... Even though had know her for like 10 years... But the understanding is still a bit out of way... Hmmm... If possible, would like to know her more... We are quite alike in some ways... And maybe that's why we can be good friends... Similar type of people with some similar thoughts... Especially in terms of relationships... Hahahaha... Maybe I'm naive or fairy-tale like... Or rather I am, in the past... Not sure about now... Haven't been into a relationship for so long... Zzz... Kinda forgotten how to go after my "Snow White" if I see one... And many more... Sigh... Never mind... Do not wished to think about all these nonsense anymore... At least for now... Leading my bachelorhood... Trying to be happy... Letting go of all those not-meant-to-be and irritating stuffs... Should prevent these thoughts to infest my mind...

Wednesday going for another talk by the same person... Not Robert Kiyosaki though... It's another guy... A multi-millionaire just sharing his experience and knowledge with us... It's about EFC... Not sure about the full name though... But would be something similar to Marketing on the internet or stuffs like that... An opportunity I would say... So Stephanie might be going with me... But Andrea is not going... Sigh... Kinda a pity... But she have classes on Wednesday evening... So it's quite impossible to be there... But it's ok...

Anyway... Have I mentioned how did I get to know Andrea...??? Well... She is one of the many "competitors" during my poly days, in the 围棋... A kinda highly intelligence chess... LOL... Can't really remember how I actually know her... But that time she is still a young girl in RGS... Raffles Girl School... Hmmm... Can't imagine how on earth would I let such smart girl to fall her eyes on me... LOL... Not as in falling in love... But at least be friends... Hahahaha... She's one nice girl of course... As I only make friends with nice people... And we are good friends now... That's because she's nice... All I can say is that she is smart, willing-to-learn, kind-hearted, quite good looking, gentle, pretty in heart, sweet, cute, and many more which I have yet to discover... She might be astonished to see me write all this about her... Hahahahaha... But it's the honest comments about her from me... After so long... Glad that our friendship is still surviving well even though we only meet up like once every half a year on the average... But it will grow strong and never break... Felt so blessed to have her around... Hahahaha... Thanks Andrea Aka Mei Xin... Mei Xin = Beautiful Heart... Hahahahaha... She sure live up to her own name... A wonderful girl...

2006-08-27T04:05:00.000+08:00

Release...

Finally a release after so much... Sigh... Things seems to have turn back to the past... Everything... Everyone... Maybe it's better this way... Letting go of meaningless stuffs... Life's gotta be happy again... After a while...

Sigh... Another boring weekend... Have two gatherings today... But... Didn't go for either of which... One not invited... One don't feel like going... So in the end... Just stayed at home and rot whole day... *yawn*...

Searched for jobs today... Nothing much... Sigh... Should I go work in the new office...??? Sigh... Anyway... Pending... Pending... Pending...

Relationships problems... Sigh... Any sort of relationships seems to be not that good... Hmmm... All seems to be like going back to the past... Maybe I'm just too irritating... My usual self... Meaningless life... Sigh...

2006-08-26T10:36:00.000+08:00

Busybody...

Sometimes... I think I may be a little too busybody instead of showing signs of concern... Or maybe I'm asking a little too much... Expecting too much... Where I can just forget about it... Sigh... Shouldn't have made the call this morning to "someone"... I can no longer see the point of putting in effort and get nothing in return... Maybe it shall all stop here... Stop asking until they want to share... Cause I really see no point of making myself a stupid fool everytime... Maybe I mean nothing to them... That's why... It's not easy to build up a simple relationship... Anyway... I'll want to forget about it...

Should still be sleeping now... But... Never mind... Just can't keep my mind focus on sleeping... That's why come back here to blog... Later might be going out... Might not be also... Sigh... Actually Aunty Joyce's house is having a gathering for some reasons... But I won't be going due to... Just don't know how to face "someone" yet... This someone is different from the "someone" mentioned above... But anyway... Whatever it is... It's over... Later having another birthday party at my cousin Yan Hua's house at Woodlands... Zzz... So damn far... So was like thinking whether should I go or just stay at home and slack... Or watch my Japanese animations... Should have bought the Saturday Straits Times to read up... Many job opportunities on Saturday... Sigh... But was like thinking of other problems... Not really problems... But rather another job opportunity working in the family business... Zzz... So was like still pending... Don't really like the job though... But shall see how it goes...

Was like taking care of my baby nephew now... Whew... Kinda a difficult task... Hmmm... But take it as a practice as I will have my own baby to take care of in the future... Just kinda baby sitting him now... Didn't really do that much... If not, I won't be blogging right now... Hahahaha... Zzz... Listening to 秋天的童话 music right now... Hmmm... So sweet... Kinda missed the show... It's with Jing now though... Anyway... It's ok to keep it with her... Trust that she would take good care of it...

Think that should be all for now... Luckily my baby nephew managed to smoothen my unhappiness just now... Lesson learnt... Don't ever want to make phone calls out unnecessarily again...

2006-08-24T01:25:00.000+08:00

Friends...!!!

Hmmm... Sometimes I wonder what do friends mean...??? How close can we really be and in what terms do I consider you as my good friend...??? Hmmm... To me... As long as I like you and we can communicate real well and are of the same type of people, then we can be good friends... Of course, provided I'm the same kinda friends you are looking for as well... Friends must be honest with one another, be patient with one another and of course, provide understanding to each other problems... Or at least these are the basics... Sigh... Good friends are so hard to find... But luckily I do have some... At least two super best friends who will be honest with me all the time... Even though honest comments do hurt... But best friends rather hurt me than letting me get hurt by others... Because, they know that they are for my own good... That's why I appreciate them so much... Especially towards their cruel honest comments... So... Thanks pals... Love you both lots...

To Irwin... Kinda missed those days having good long chats with you about everything under the moon... But think we are too old for those super long walks from Marina South back home... So we shall just stay with our usual pubbing session at our "Pasir Panjang Village"... Hahahaha... I'm waiting for your grand return bro... Really sorry that I kinda let you down before, due to "that" incident... But thanks to your BIG forgiving heart... That's why our friendship still stay as strong as ever... Thank you so much my brother... Many times when I'm down... You stand by my side and support me... Especially during my break up with "S"... Your honest comments hurts... But it pull me through... I know it's for my own good... So... I really appreciate you so much even though I didn't say so in front of you... Hope this brotherhood of ours last for as long as time shall seem...

To Li Yan... Really sorry about previously getting angry over "that" incident... Though I'm still kinda sad over how unimportant I am as compared to that "whoever"... Pardon me for my inappropriate use of words... But... I don't care... Still angry you know... Grrr... But anyway... Pardon me for being so petty... Even though I'm a guy... But thinking of a better way... It's because I cherish you too much... That's why I care so much about how much I mean to you... No worries though... Our friendship still stand as strong as ever... Previously kinda hated you for three long years due to "that" incident... So I will never waste another three years losing a great pal like you... I'm glad that we managed to find back this friendship of ours after "that" incident... I think you must thank me for my BIG forgiving heart... Hahahahahahaha... But anyway... Really glad that we managed to work things out finally after three years...

To Ryn... Be strong... Not because to act strong... But because you are strong... Just remember that you have a cousin like me... Who will encourage you to stand up if you fall... Not because I don't want to hold you before you fall... But I know that I won't be there before things happened... I always know things after it happened, because you always let me know after that after I probe so much... But I will still be there for you whenever I can... Don't share with me your happy moments... Just share with me your sad moments... But of course, I hope you don't ever find me... Because I don't want you to be sad... Take good care alright... Things come and goes... We just have to learn to accept and move on... Me too... Have encounter such things before... And even problems that are much worst than you can expect... There are happy moments and sad moments in life... I've cried many times... And laugh many times... This is life... So... Be strong... And move on... Time will heal everything... Just like me now too... Things are just not meant to be... So I'll just choose the other way to stay by "someone" side... Since I know that I can never be with "her"... I will choose to still stay by "her" side in another role... Sometimes I may say things too harsh to you... But please know that I always say things honestly... Not to hurt you, but to love you... Even though honest comments hurt sometimes... But just because I love you, I rather let you know the truth... Than to let you go try and get hurt... So please forgive me if many times you find my words too harsh...

To Janicia... Sorry for being so petty ok... It's because I expect too much from you... Maybe I shouldn't have done that... But... It's more like our relationship seems to have grown closer throughout the period of time... That's why I kinda expect you to be at least happy or spend time talking with me when I called you when I just reach Singapore... But in the end... You are too obsessed with your MSN and kinda ignore me... That's why I kinda get pissed and wonder how much I mean to you... Sigh... But now, that doesn't really matter anymore... Maybe I expect too much from you... And as compared... We are really not that close... So... I'm just expecting too much than what I should get... So... Please forgive me for expecting too much... I will not expect anything anymore... Just hope that we can still hold normal conversation... Don't get too troubled with your problems... You can still share with me if you want... And I will still be glad to lend you my ears, share with you my views and give you precious advices... Really sorry that many times I might have hurt you in different ways... But it's because I don't understand you... This is not mainly my fault though... It's also your fault... Because you didn't really let me understand you as well... Since that's the case, then we don't blame one another and continue building up our relationship alright...??? Need you to know this... I love you and cherish you too...

To Jing... Sorry about it... Just because I'm kinda sad... That's why keep bugging you and blaming you not there for me without thinking that you are so busy with your homework and stuffs... Really sorry... Please forgive Uncle Naggy ok... Haven't really have a decent conversation with you for quite some time... So was like kinda miss those laughters and stuffs... Maybe when your projects, homework, tests, exams and stuffs are over... Then have another good chat with you... Sorry for being so naggy and irritating... But it's because I care... Maybe I care a little bit too much... If you really find me too nosey and irritating... Please let me know so that I will leave you alone for awhile... But I will never leave you as your friend... Because TRUE FRIENDS stay forever... No matter how things go... But of course... If it's only I feel that you are my good friend, but you don't feel that way... Then things won't work out well... "But if both of us feels the same way... Why should we give up one another..." Think you will get what I'm trying to say even though my sentences are a bit messy... So... Cheers alright... Oh... Wanted to let you know something too... Even though we know each in quite a "special" way and not for every long time... And with a gap of almost a decade... But I do cherish you as a friend... Not just a small girl or any acquaintance... So hope that we can build up a stronger friendship than just a normal one... I know I'm very naggy... But that's me... I care... That's why I'm naggy... Hahahaha... So you must accept my naggy, honest self alright... Hahahaha... Thanks...!!! Because... Good friends will have such traits... So... Hope I can be your good friend...!!!

Enough of friends... Back to my daily schedule... Hmmm... Finally went to Hao Cheng's house today... Treated him MOS burger today for lunch... Then he helped me to "repair" my laptop... Just kinda reformat it as my laptop got spyware from don't know which "idiot" website... Grrr... Was so pissed... But luckily things are fine now... Though there are still bits and pieces of irritating slow network movement... Anyway... Just to introduce this IT guy... Mr Shieh Hao Cheng... My primary school brother as well... Just like Irwin... But I'm closer with Irwin as we often share problems together... Hmmm... That's why I always say sharing of problems will strengthen our relationships... Sharing of happiness doesn't really the case... Because only going through bad experiences... Then bonds will grow strong... That's how I value how much a relationship worth... Will be meeting Hao Cheng again on Friday again to catch up before he go to Hong Kong to continue his studies... Don't know when will meet him again after this... It's more than a decade of friendship you know... Hmmm... Gosh... I do value good friendship much... Hahahaha... So all my good friends are in good fortune to have a good friend like me... Hahahahaha... Self praise... But being my girlfriend is still the best... LOL... Because... Girlfriend overwrites everything... LOL... What a jerk... Hahahahaha... Sorry guys... But girlfriend is always the top priority... Unless if it's urgent case... I believe the girl who's qualify to be my girlfriend will be understanding enough... So I will weigh things appropriately now unlike last time of just being a 24hours girlfriend's boy...

Hmmm... This coming Monday going to meet Andrea... Well... She's one of my special friend too... Know her during a competition... "Wei Qi" competition... Hahahahaha... It's a kinda highly intelligent chess game... Hahahaha... But anyway... Glad that I know her... She's definitely one great girl even though I didn't managed to understand her more... But we do meet up once in a long while to catch up... Or sometimes in MSN... Next time if I do have chance to take a photo with her will publish in my blog... Hahahahaha... Think she will be petrified to see her photo in my blog... Because she always think that she's ugly... Zzz... Whatta silly girl... But to me, she's never an ugly girl... In fact... She do have a beautiful heart... Not because of her chinese name "Mei Xin"... But because she really do have a beautiful heart... If she's not a nice girl... I don't think she can be one of my good friends as well... Hahahahaha... I'm sure is a realistic and bad guy... Because I only value nice people... In a way or another... I'm not really that holy though... But I just don't mix with bad people... Anyway... Will be able to meet Andrea on Monday...!!! Hahahahaha... So happy... Will be able to see her boyfriend too... After so long... Hahahaha... HEY... I'm not a gay... But just wonder how he look like as I've been hearing about him from her and her blog... So just kinda curious what kinda guy she would pick... Hahahahaha... Think the minimum... He would also be quite a nice guy... As I know that Andrea is a nice girl... So... Her taste can't be that bad... Hmmm... Stephanie might be going with me as well... We are going to attend a workshop... And Stephanie is interested... So just bring her along... Hopefully it will be a good experience... That's all for today...

Anyway... Don't jus read my blog... Leave a tag for me as well... Say anything... Everything... It's ok if it's not long... But just let me know that you are here to read my blog... Hahahahaha... Thanks people... Shall see you all around...

2006-08-23T01:29:00.000+08:00

22nd August 2006...

Another day have passed... Was kinda sick today... So thought of resting at home and sleep whole day... In the end... Message Hao Cheng that I'll not be going to his house as I wanted to rest at home... So it's kinda cancelled and postpone to tomorrow instead... But... Stephanie message me and ask whether am I free to meet her... Hmmm... Kinda been very long since I last meet her, so I just went over to West Mall to meet her for lunch and a movie... Lunch was kinda as usual... My all time favourite... Sakae Sushi... But don't really have the appetite to eat as I'm really sick... But in the end, still eat it... After lunch... Went to watch a movie... "The American Haunting"... Hmmm... Not a very nice show though... Because I don't understand what's the movie about... Dots... Should have watched "The Break Up" instead... Sigh... But never mind... Try it next time... After the show... We went to eat again... Because she's kinda unhappy... And I'm a good consultant, you see... So we went to eat Swensens and continue talking... What a heavy meal day... Sigh... Gotta have tons of rest and go to Hao Cheng's house to repair my computer later... Sigh...

What a day... But glad that I did meet up with Stephanie today...

Came online kinda late today... My cousin Ryn is online but didn't able to see her online... But due to her blog, so know that she's online... But anyway... Also don't know what to say when I see her... Sigh... Anyway again... She's always busy with her own things... Also don't know what can she be so busy with everytime... Or maybe I'm the very free one... Saw Shu Wen online also... But too bad that I have to leave early, if not, will be able to chat with her... Sigh... Have been missing them lots...

Haven't been seeing Janicia for awhile... Never message her or chat with her too... Because I'm still kinda disappointed with me coming back that incident... Sigh... Maybe I'm too petty... Jing said that too... Maybe I'm really a petty guy... Sigh...

Not able to chat with Jing also... It's been kinda long... Ever since... I can't remember when did I last talk with her... Sigh... Kinda missed talking with her... Sigh... Never mind... She have been busy doing homework... Sigh... Maybe I kinda expected too much... Sigh... Sorry to everybody...

Nothing much to blog lately... Sigh... So that's all for now...

2006-08-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

21st/22nd August 2006

还是好烦啊。。。原来，还是还没放开。。。刚刚和她谈了一会儿的话。。。还以为，我可以慢慢放开。。。可是，现在还是一样。。。需要更长一点的时间才能放得开。。。也许，我现在需要听这一首歌，手放开，才能放开吧。。。好冷哦。。。 (-.-)

Sigh...

A new beginning... Yet life is still the same... I get to affected by it... Sigh... Should avoid it from now... Until some time later... Need to divert my attention so that I won't think about it so much... Sigh...

Today seems to be an unlucky day... Nothing really went smooth... 21st Aug 2006 should be a good day... But things just arn't smooth for me... Hopefully tomorrow is a better day... Going to Hao Cheng's house to reformat my computer... Due to some stupid virus or something... Most probably tomorrow will be wasted... Sigh...

Anyway... Previously kinda had a fight with Li Yan... But now... We are fine... Still as good as ever... LoL... Because... She took the initiative to call me just now... All problems are settled... And we are best friends once again... Kinda relieve... Because she is someone I cherish a lot... My bestest girl friend... Thanks girl... *huggies*

2006-08-21T01:14:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK...!!!

Finally... After 3D2N of not so happy experience going to Genting... Zzz... What's the purpose of this trip actually...??? I would say it's very meaningless... Sigh... Should have been more firm about not going... But anyway... What done cannot be undone... And I've learn a lesson there and when I'm back... Supposingly many people missed me... LoL...

Anyway... I shall skip the experience over there... Because... It's simply so boring and bad experience... Because of... *Secret*... But one word of advice... Keep away from Casino... Because... Casino simply means... CAS = Cash, IN = In, O = Only... Meaning... Sure lose... Don't ask me how much I "donated" to the poor and needy... But if you want, can make a "visit" to it... Just make sure you don't change and cash if you don't want to lose... And... Genting is also a boring place... Nothing worth mentioning about... It just bring back some old memories because I went there before with my ex-girlfriend... Passby some shops and just think of the old days... Sigh... Memories... Ok... Stop talking about that...

Anyway again... I'm back sound and safe... Didn't really buy anything also from there... Because... The stalls there are simply boring... But going with girlfriend is different... Sigh... Guessed who's the first person I message when I reached...??? Sigh... Disappointment... It's my cousin Janicia... Who's busy msn-ing and can't be bothered about me... Sigh... Why on earth do I sms and call her in the first place... Sigh... And this unexpected girl... Jing... Why do I sms her...??? I can't answer that question as well... Maybe she's one funny girl who maybe I kinda think of... Maybe, maybe, maybe... So... It's just maybe... Who knows why... And the third... Even though should be the first... But... Due to some "blah blah blah"... In short... Shouldn't have message her now... But... I still did... And surprisingly... She replied my message even though I say not to... Sigh... Why......... Sigh... But still happy + sad + troubled to receive the message though.........

So when we reach Golden Mile Complex... This is the place where the bus dropped us... Went for dinner at the Hawker Center nearby... Not too bad... Kinda missed Singapore's food... Ate one plate of fried "kway teow" and a bowl of chicken herbal soup... Because I'm simply hungry after the long and boring 6 plus hours of journey back home "Singapore"... After dinner... Finally headed back home, where I stay... Erm... Both home means the same but also differently... But I guessed you should know which home means what...

Kinda happy when I reach home... Went to throw all my dirty clothings in the washing area... But of course I didn't wash them... Just dump there and went back to my room... As usual, my parents are a sleep... So didn't wake them up... Shall see them tomorrow then... Should have gone to bathe first... But just kinda on an auto-pilot mode... Came in to on my computer instead... And guessed what...??? I saw JING...!!! Hmmm... But she was in busy mode... Kinda doing some research... But I just take my chance to msn her... Hopefully can get a reply from her... And guess my luck isn't that bad after all... Because... She did replied, when I thought she is away from her computer... Hmmm... With such luck... Can't imagine why I will lose in the Casino... Oops... Don't talk about it anymore... Hmph... Anyway... Back to Jing... Chat with her for awhile before her mum start nagging at her... Supposingly about how late it was and she should be in her bed by now... So... Off she went... Sigh... Luckily did speak to her for awhile... Think she kinda missed me... Not as in physically me... But maybe my nag and nobody tagging her blog... Zzz... So angry about it... Hmph... Still thought she would miss me because of me and not because of my nag... Zzz... Nag her say I nag so much... Never nag her say kinda weird... Zzz... Should have went on a longer trip... So that she will know the importance of my existance... Or maybe she will forget about me after that... Hahahahaha... Zzz... Lame...

Anyway... After wash up and everything... Just come online to blog all these boring stuffs... Hmmm... It's time to buck up and look for a job... Need to stay more focus, determine and be active... Need to reformat my computer first... Think it kinda got infected by some lame virus or something... Sigh... Or some spyware or something... Can't be bothered by it... Will get it done this week... And go all out to look for a job...

Hmmm... Haven't really been learning Japanese all this while... Kinda wasted money buying all those books... Will try to learn bit by bit each day... Need to abandon the useless me and start afresh now... Will stop thinking of those "stupid" and meaningless things and move on... Hope can gain a "new" kinda "relationship" with that "someone" soon so things would'nt get so awkward the next time we meet... Which will be like... Don't know when...

That's all for today... Remember... Not to ask me about my Genting trip... Will see Jing online again later tonight... Hmmm... But I might not be online also... Hmmm... It depends... But just hope can chat with her soon... ^_^ At least it's fun chatting with her... Hahahaha...

2006-08-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

Wednesday, 16th August 2006...

Cool man... Today went out with Janicia again... AGAIN...??? Yeah... It's again... Hahahahahahaha... We went to Bishan, Junction 8 because of some reasons... Hmmm... As usual... We were thinking of what to eat... So... As usual also... We walked around the place and finally decided on Swensens... Hahahaha... Expensive food again... But quite an enjoyable one... Hmmm... As time goes by, our relationship has improved... Especially this week when we meet quite often... But won't be meeting her anymore though... Because I would not be free... Supposingly... Need to start looking for a job when I come back from Genting this weekend...

Anyway... After lunch, we went to photo shop to take photos... Hahahaha... This is the fun one... We went to the toilet to style hair first... Then go choose a nice station to take photo... Quite stupid... Because almost all the positions are the same... Either standing left or right... And the pose are always the same... LoL... Should have more stupid pose or stunts... Hahahahaha... But anyway... The photos are nicely taken... Pretty plus handsome... LoL... Superb... But too bad... I tried using my mobile to take the photo cards... But my handphone sucks... Megapixel too low... So couldn't take it... If not, I would have published in my blog... LoL... How nice... But... Too bad...

After sending Janicia off to her tuition... I went to change currency at Outram because I will be going to Genting this Friday... Can't find better rates... So just change it at the rate of 1:2.31... Then I head bakc home...

Came online... Then saw Jing...!!! Hahaha... So nice... Chatted for awhile... Still as nice as ever... LoL... Plus something happy happened... LoL... But anyway... Nice to know her... Happy to know her too... Always have great fun chatting with her...

Tomorrow still need to go collect my graduation photo at Alexandra... Boring... Shouldn't have bought the stage photo... Waste money... Sigh...

Surprisingly... Li Yan sms me just now asking this two days... When I called her... Why do I sounded so unhappy... Hmmm... Never expect her to realize that... But I just say nothing... Sigh... Never thought our friendship will get hurt by some whoever... Sigh... Our friendship are so fragile... Sigh...

2006-08-15T01:49:00.000+08:00

BAD MOOD...!!!

Kinda agitated... Wanted to go to bed instead... But still have to come back online to blog before I can get some sleep... Kinda first time that we quarrelled, me and my best girl friend, Li Yan... That feeling was like... Damn sucky... And why do we quarrel and what do we quarrel over...??? It's like so damn stupid... Due to some whoever... And over some whatever... Crap... So pissed over the whole thing...

Never thought that we would quarrel... And what's more now the quarrel is about another person... Who's kinda like... New in her life... And guess what...??? The best thing is... She don't know that I'm angry... COOL...!!! And now it seems like I'm the stupid guy here... Sigh...

Suddenly have a new thinking about how friendship worth... How close do you think you are with whoever... But when somethings happened... Are you that close still...??? Or not anymore...??? Families are still the ones who will stand by your side... And friends... Depends...

Come to think of it... Friends... How many can you really count on...??? And how far can they walk your life with you...??? When everyone is attached or get married... They have their own life to go through as well... Friends...??? Not so friends anymore isn't it...??? Especially when age catches up...

Sad over this matter... Why this kinda things happened...??? Sigh... So disappointed... In the early morning... This kinda of bad things happened... Maybe it just marks that I shouldn't be out on my feet today... Damn it... Still have to collect my graduation photo as well as to change currency for my Genting trip this weekend... Guess I have to do it on Wednesday... Or Thursday... What a day... It just sucks to the max...

2006-08-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

Monday, 14th August 2006...

Woke up at around 12.30pm today... Actually planning to wake up at 11.45, but really too tired... So went back to sleep again... When its 12.30pm, still felt like sleeping... Because I'm like really tired... But no choice... Promise to meet Janicia out for lunch and shopping today... Thus I crawl out of my bed and went to wash up... *yawn*... In the end, I reached Janicia's school quite early... 1.30pm... Thus waited for her to knock off... So around 1.50pm... She called me... But I joke with her that I'm still at home sleeping... She sounded kinda sad... LoL... So silly of her... But in the end, sms her back and she saw me outside her school waiting... LoL... Seems like kinda shocked and touched... Hahahahahaha... Silly girl...

So... After we meet up, we decided to go to Hougang Mall as we have planned initially... We took a train there but when we reached, we were like deciding what to eat... But ultimately we decide on Long John Silvers... Hmmm... Cheapest fast food... Hahahahaha... And... Janicia never tried that before... Dots... LoL... No worries, next time will bring you to other places that you never go before alright...??? Provided you don't make me angry... Grrr... =(

So after lunch... We went to shop around Hougang Mall... Went into some nice shops to window shop... But of course, we did purchase some stuffs... Bought her a cd... Zzz... Can't remember the title... Something like "High School Musical" or something... That's not for free of course... She need to pass her piano test tomorrow... If not, she gotta get it from me... Hmph... Hmmm... I got myself "我叫金三顺"... A nice korean drama... LoL... So happy...

Nothing much there after... So we went off... Didn't sent her back because I'm kinda lazy and tired... And it's like going to rain... So... Have to be an evil guy, let my dear Janicia go home alone... Think she don't mind that... Hahahaha...

After I reached home... Was so surprised that Jing took the initiative to msn me... That was like... WAOH... Was kinda surprised also because thought I won't be seeing her online for this whole week... Hmmm... So... Was kinda happy seeing her and chatting with her... LoL... Damn funny girl... Always like to laugh and laugh... Another silly girl... Hmmm... Alway feeling happy chatting with her... LoL... Don't know when will see her again... But it's ok...

Kinda remember that I forget to take a photo card with Janicia today... So I tell her maybe Wednesday then we go to somewhere where there is a machine for us to take... LoL... She's kinda happy... But not because that she can take a photo with me... Zzz... That was like... Grrr... Don't know what she's thinking... Sigh... Always happy in awhile... And get angry in another moment... Sigh... Shall see how it goes then... If its going to be like this always... Think nothing much can be done... I already tried my best to be good, honest and truthful...

Sigh... Still thinking... Still thinking of... Sigh... Why... So sad... But... Sigh... No use... No use at all... Sigh... Can do nothing at all... Sigh...

2006-08-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

COOL...!!!

The Funfair was damn fun man... Cool...!!! Actually wanted to go around 9am... But was like so tired... Thus went back to sleep and woke up at around 11.30am... LoL... Finally woke up... Then faster change clothes and take a cab down to Commonwealth Secondary School, because my dearest cousin Joanne's school is having a school funfair... It's been like years since I last went to a funfair... And luckily I went there... Even though I was alone... But after walking around for sometime, Joanne's family was there also... So we walked together... Hahahaha... At least its not that boring... I'm just like a stupid idiot walking alone... So... We play together those games... Like small kids... Hahaha... Think this would be the last chance of playing like a kid... Hahahaha... Think the next time I'm going will be with my kids...??? Hahahaha...

Sigh... It's a pity that Janicia and Li Yan can't make it... If not, they might be having fun there too... Hahahaha... Kinda happy after the funfair... So I came home to use my computer... And I saw Janicia online... Actually was like still ok... But when we talk about... And mood started to change... Sigh... So should stop talking about "it"...

Hmmm... So let's talk about happy things again... Funfair...!!! I spend like $20 on the tickets and play those stupid games... Hahahahaha... And after meeting up with the rest, we played and finally, able to exchange for gifts... In the end... Due to our limited tickets, we can exchange for only a file and two other mouse pad or something... Argh...!!! Sucks to the max... If staying for longer, maybe can exchange for a big soft toy or something... Hahahaha... But that would cost a lot more... Hahahahaha...

What an experience... LoL... Kinda go back to my childhood days... Misses much... Sigh... Being old really sucks... Sigh...

Think that should be all for today... Hmmm... A week of enjoyment is coming up shortly... Which is... This coming week...!!! Monday going to meet Janicia for lunch and shopping... Tuesday maybe go shopping alone or what... Wednesday will meet Janicia for lunch again and send her for tuition... Then maybe Thursday will meet Janicia for lunch again and go catch a movie afterwards... Hmmm... The rough plan will be kinda like this... Might have some changes depending on circumstances... Then I will be going to Genting with Hwee Siong on Friday early morning... Till Sunday... Hmmm... Final week of enjoyment... Talking about this... Maybe Wednesday after sending Janicia for her tuition, I will be going down to Ang Mo Kio to change currency... Hmmm... What a distance... Sigh... Shall see how it goes... Kinda don't feel like going down there... Sigh...

Anyway... Wish me good luck alright...!!!

2006-08-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

Sigh...

Boring day... Looking forward for this long awaited funfair... In the end... Sigh... Li Yan can't make it due to her meeting, and now... Janicia can't make it too, due to her piano lesson tomorrow... Sigh... Which means... I'm going all alone now... ALONE...!!! Sigh... Luckily Joanne will be there... But she will have her own stall to tend... So... It's still me, alone... Sigh... But no matter what, I'll still go and support her and enjoy myself...

Sigh... Think I'm rotting at home already... Sigh... Next weekend supposingly will be more fun... Because I'll be going Genting with my friend... 3 days 2 nights... Sigh... Hopefully will be a sound and safe trip with good things happening... Now is lunar 7th month... And the hotel we stay is like... Sigh... But anyway... Pray hard and I will go regardless of what... A runaway trip for me... Hopefully coming back will be a new good man... So sick and tired of this place and everything...

Thinking of it... I'll be looking more actively for a job when I'm back... And stop thinking of "whoever" and whatever... Sigh...

Felt like going to a me faraway country... And stay longer... So can totally let go and start a fresh when I get back... But... I don't have enough money to really stay overseas for that long... Sigh... Ultimately... Still have to stay in Singapore... Which is like so boring everywhere... Sigh...

Still thinking... And thinking... And thinking... Sigh... When can I stop thinking of "you"...

2006-08-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

Changes In Life...

Sigh... A good start with a sigh... Just felt like constantly sighing... Sigh... Have so much things in mind... Yet I have no one to share... I mean, I do have friends who are willing to listen... But just can't share "this" kinda things with them... Sigh... And the only one who I can share with, is not willing to listen...Tough life... Sigh...

Sigh... Have been thinking a lot last night... Thinking about all these happenings, actions, events, results, almost everything... Sigh... Getting kinda tired about life now... Wanted to move on, but time just passed so slowly sometimes... An hour seems to be like a day when I am sad... And a day seems like an hour when I'm happy... But I really can't remember when is the last time I feel happy about... Sigh...

Today I went out to watch the movie "Click" with my another cousin... Shouldn't have gone out actually... Because I had a bad attitude due to last night event... As I am feeling sad... So was kinda pissed with everything little mistakes or whatever things... Kinda realized my patience is getting lesser and lesser towards more things... Have I changed or just that I'm feeling low that's why patience level just got lower...??? Sigh... I'm really in doubt... Just wanna apologize to my cousin, really sorry cousin Jia Ai... Sounds like my name...??? Because she's from my father's side... So we are kinda childhood cousins... But not exactly that close now... Still feeling low now... Actually not about her... Because I didn't really show her any attitude... Just that didn't talk as much... So after the movie we just went off as I had something else to do... Sigh...

Anyway... The movie was rather nice... It's actually a comedy but very heart warming towards the end of the show... Almost cried out, but just bear with the tears in my eyes... But it's just too overwhelming that I have to let a drop of tear drip out... Or maybe the show isn't that touching... It's just that I'm sad, wanted a relieve... Maybe... Maybe not... Sigh... It still is a show worth recommending to everyone... The morale of the story is not about getting everything that you want, but in the end losing somethings important... The morale of the story is about family is the most important... As compared to work... Kinda missed my family while watching the show... But more of like looking forward on having my own family so I can have a wife to dote on... And kids to nurture and care for... Maybe something like the family in "Click" would be nice... Having a wonderful wife who loves me so much... Having two kids, one elder boy and a younger girl... So that he can take care of his baby sister... My boy would be someone like me when I was young... And my baby daughter would most probably like her mummy... Initially, I thought of having baby girl as my first child, but thinking of it, it's better to have a baby boy first, so that my precious baby daughter would not be bullied by anyone and have someone to dote on her... Maybe it's because I always wanted a baby sister to dote on... But we never know what would happened in the future... Maybe in the end, I never got married...??? Who knows... Sigh...

After all these years... I think I have changed a lot... Good and bad... But I suppose is more towards the bad side of my life... Sigh... I really hope that I can be the old me again... I really hope that I can work towards it and achieve it... Maybe until then... Good things will start happening... Please blessed me... I'll start on trying to be more understanding towards those close ones around me... And ultimately, hoping to change for the better...

I have lost someone who mean so much to me very recently... I'm just trying to accept the fact of that and face the reality... Even though I kept thinking so much... Even when I'm outside... Really scared to see "her" with whoever the guy is... Maybe I'm just thinking too much... But... I just did... Sigh... Kinda sad... But life still goes on... Hopefully time can pass faster than I can imagine... Need to let go of this not-meant-to-be, one-sided courtship... Sigh... Have to be more mature and learn from mistakes... Luckily... "She" stopped me before I fall deeper...

This coming Sunday will be going for my cousin Joanne's school funfair... Hopefully by then, I've tone down my temper thus able to go with my cousin Janicia... If not, most probably will just go alone or maybe with Li Yan if she is free... So I shall just see how things work out... I don't want to get angry for nothing, but sometimes... Janicia really just test my patience... And I can feel that I'm running out of it... Wanted to have a good talk with her, but she always mess it up in the end... Sigh... Shall take this few days to cool myself down...

Didn't go to cousin Ryn's house today... Sigh... Even though I wanted to previously... And my dearest cousin Shu Wen asked me to go today, because they are having school holiday due to National Day yesterday... But... Sigh... It's better for me not to go... Sigh... Maybe it's because, cousin Ryn is busy preparing for her tests next week... Plus... Other things... So I better not disturb her... Sigh... I'll missed all of them... Especially... All of them... Think the only time for me to catch up with them again would be either the next gathering, chalet or festive seasons... Sigh...

Hate to grow old... Because we will lose those we don't want to lose as we grow old... I have just lost "someone" whom I never wanted to lose... Sigh... And I can see that even sooner... I'm going to totally lose that "someone"... Sigh... Hopefully I can soon learn how to cherish "her" another way before the time is up...

Sigh... Please stop me from those negative thinkings... I'm also trying hard... Hopefully I can... Because I need to... And maybe this ending, is the best for us... Gonna missed you so much...

2006-08-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

非常伤心的一天

已经很久没有感觉到伤心，难过了。。。原来我还知道如何伤心，难过。。。没想到美梦是如此短暂。。。而残酷的现实却是如此漫长。。。到底需要多少时间才能够放得下。。。??? 又有谁能了解我现在的感受呢。。。??? 而我现在唯一能做的事只能默默的为她祝福。。。好想放开一切，从头开始。。。可是你已经为这场美梦划下一个残忍的句号。。。我也没什么话可说了。。。只能希望你永远幸福，快乐。。。时间能让人淡忘痛苦的悲伤。。。而现在的我，希望时间能快点的过。。。给我多一点的时间去忘记你吧。。。我现在唯一能对你说的是，对不起，我爱你。。。祝你永远幸福，快乐。。。

2006-08-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

Wednesday, 09th August 2006

Guess what... It's National Day today... The day where every Singaporean celebrate our country 41st Birthday this year...!!! Major event...??? Erm... Kinda... And will I be celebrating it...??? Well, most probably will just stay at home... Don't think will go out anyway... So just will be either online trying to look for whoever is free to chat with me... Or maybe just watch some animations...

Don't know whether Jing and Tricia will be online a not... Nothing much... Just chat with them or something... Finally able to chat with Tricia yesterday afternoon... After so many tries... LOL... She will know what I'm talking about... But... It wasn't really a very successful one though... Because, this time, I'm the one who's having things on... So after around an hour of chat, I had to go off already... So... Better luck next time...

They are pretty funny girls... Like laughing a lot... Am I that humourous... Or do I look funny...??? Hmmm... Maybe I'm really that humourous... That's why they laugh so much... Or maybe it's because they are borned happy... That's why keep laughing... Sigh... Just know them like not long... But can keep talking... Yet someone who's supposingly to be close with me... I can't even hold a normal conversation with her... Sigh... Why is it so...??? Sigh... How I wished we could have more topics and longer conversation... But I guessed its pretty tough... Sigh... "Jing, this sighs over here belongs to the sigh when someone is vexed... While other sighs just simply meant, you-know-what-it-means"...

Yesterday early evening, I called Shu Fang and Shu Wen for a short chat... They are the lovable twins...!!! They are just so cute... Hahahahahaha... Really cute and sweet... But also nothing much to chat with them... So just hold a short conversation also... Chat with the 2 of them for around 11mins in total... So... Average out is around 5 and a half minutes for each of them... Even if its for only 5mins... It's still longer than 4mins... And 4mins is the longest timing that I have ever chatted with Ryn... Sigh... But anyway... They just thank me for the handphone chain that I have bought for them... And I also got Shu Wen new handphone number: 9xxx xxxx... Including Tricia's number: 9xxx xxxx, and Jing's number: 9xxx xxxx... Total had 3 new numbers... Kinda cool... LOL... Can't imagine an "old" guy like me still able to get girls number... Zzz... Dots... But anyway... Nothing much also... Not going to call them or whatever, unless something emergency... But most likely... Don't think will have the chance to call them also... Mostly just messages...??? Anyway... Back to Shu Fang and Shu Wen... Think are kinda close with the twins... Both of them... Or maybe more with Shu Fang... Because... She missed me more... Hahahahahahahahahaha... So happy knowing that... LOL... She's really so sweet... Even though she is suppose to be the shy 1 out of the 2... She also asked me... Erm... Should be warned me that I must get a job before September arrives... LOL... Hopefully I can get a job too... Shu Wen asked whether will I be going to their house on this coming Thursday, which is the 10th of August, because they are having holiday on that day... Due to National Day thingy... So, Thursday was made a holiday... Hmmm... Even though I would love to see them... But... But... But... I still think better not go over because of... ... ... Never mind... Sigh... ... ... ... ...

Kinda tired of all these... So wanted to stop it before I keep dwelling over it... Janicia also asked me to do so... So I've been trying real hard already by sms lesser and keeping the contents as normal as possible... Maybe after more tries then I can succeed... It's still hard not to miss or stop messaging now... But just trying to control whenever I wanted to... Should divert my attention to something else...

Today went out to Chinatown because will be going to Genting with Hwee Siong next weekend... So... We went to look for cheapest promotions around... In the end... Kinda pissed with the whole thing... But... The trip is still on... Due to... Angry to say... But ultimately... Still pay that price for something that I don't like but don't really have a choice... Sigh... Damn pissed... After the whole booking of Genting thingy, went to meet Wai Kok and his girlfriend, then went to his house to play Mahjong... The all time favourite pass-time for us... Luckily... Won some money again, so ultimately if I don't go for the Genting trip due to whatever reasons, it's still not that bad... At least it's almost a free trip now... Lunar 7th month going overseas... Hmmm... I shall see how it goes... If doesn't have good feeling next week before departure, most probably I'll call off the holiday... My life is more precious than enjoying... What's more, I have so many darlings to take care of... And so many people who loves me... So it's more important to stay a life... At least, I'm still able to make lots of people happy and feel fortunate to have me around... Or maybe I think too much... Don't know who feel fortunate to have me around... Other than I think Irwin and Li Yan will feel that way now... Plus maybe Shu Fang and Shu Wen, because I dote on them... And maybe my family... Or even Jing because I can entertain her laugh whole day... But don't think so... I'm just crapping... Jing will just find me naggy... Anyway... Can't think of anymore now...

Shall go off to sleep soon... Take good care my friends... Don't fall sick... Those who had fall sick, please do take good care of yourself... Such as... Tricia Aka Xin... Drink tons of water... Tons = At least 1000L... Oops... Should be at least 2000L of water... Because 1ton is 1000... Or is it 10,000...??? Oops... Sorry, because I have long passed that secondary school age... But I'm still a long way to become as UNCLE, miss Tricia... So... Please don't asked why I enjoy talking with young children or teenagers...!!! GRRR... Say until I'm like in my 30s or 40s... It's like REALLY DOTS... And... Miss Jing... Don't take this holiday as a time for enjoyment... The test next week is not for nothing... So... Please buck up... I don't care if you find me naggy or complain to Ryn about me being so naggy... It's for your own good anyway... But... I know... Sometimes I'm like really too naggy... Ok, fine... I'll just try to take note about that alright... But... It's hard to control... I'm just purely talkative... And... Okok... Naggy, if you insist using this word...

Anyway... Shall see you all around...

2006-08-07T21:14:00.000+08:00

Monday, 07th August 2006...

Woke up around 1 in the afternoon... Then went to meet my cousin Janicia to pass her something to my cousin Ryn to pass to her friend, Jing... Sounds complicated...??? Not really... In the end... That Janicia wanted me to go fetch her in her school... Gosh... And I went... Like her guardian... Her friends who saw us might think that I'm her boyfriend though... Zzz... So after that, we went to "Heartland Mall" to eat Sakae Sushi, again... But Sakae Sushi is my all time favourite... So it's alright for me... After lunch, went around shopping... Thought of buying some things for Ryn they all, but don't know what to buy for her... Don't know what she likes also... But Janicia went to look for a handphone chain for her handphone... And said that Shu Fang and Shu Wen just got their own handphone... So thought of buying handphone chains for everyone... Janicia can't find what she want in the Comics Connection... But she say that Gift A Name have something better, even though it cost more... But good things cost more, doesn't it...??? In the end, I took a long time choosing the right one for everyone... Of course is after some discussion with Janicia... Because she is much closer to them while I know nothing about them... So in the end, the end products are finalized... But, another problem is... Will they like it...??? Even though what matters most is the heart that counts... But just have to worried about it... Especially......... Sigh... But just hope that they will like it...

Anyway... That's all for today... After sending Janicia back home, then I went home for dinner and come online... Normal routine... Saw Tricia... But as usual, she got to go again... So just have to see her tomorrow or some other days... Then talk to Jing... She's always free... LOL... But always need to be away for meals... Hmmm... I wonder the girl in the photo is really her... Eat so much yet still look so slim... So just take this time come to blog...

Don't know what Janicia is thinking... Sigh... Just don't feel like thinking too much now... What's the point of caring so much when she doesn't appreciates that...

Sigh... For "other" things, also don't want to think too much about it... Just let it be what it should be... Trying hard to turn things back to normal... Maybe after that, everything will turn out fine... But I need more time...

Sigh... Having kinda a headache suddenly... Most probably will have to sleep early tonight... But no worries, no big deal... After a night of rest would be fine...

2006-08-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

真是要命啊。。。！！！

很不是滋味。。。还以为现在事情会发展的比较顺利。。。可是，距离好像越拉越远了。。。在不同的时候，会有不同的人进入她的世界。。。可是我却慢慢，慢慢的从她的世界离开。。。可能会有那么一天，她不会想起我对她的好。。。也许我也不会象现在这么爱她。。。可是。。。那天会几时到来呢。。。???

Sigh... Can't get use to changes... But I need to get use to it... Recently just heard my aunt said to me... We change to suit the environment... The environment will not change to suit us... Previously have heard this before... And now... Thinking about it, just made me realized how true it is... I'm just nobody to make anyone change for me... Sigh...

Many things doesn't depend on me... I can only wish "YOU" all the best...

Janicia... I'm already out of my words to tell you... It really all depends on you now... If you know something, please share with me... Even though you think that it might hurt me... But better than I don't know anything... I've already get hurt a lot by "only you know who"... So it doesn't matter to add in anymore... So please just say whatever you want... And I'll greatly appreciate that... Just let me totally let go please, by letting me know whatever you think that will hurt me... Thanks... Waiting for your call or message or email or msn...

2006-08-06T12:11:00.000+08:00

Having a Sunday Blue...

Slept at around 6am in the morning after turning about for 1plus hour... Sigh... Just can't get to bed for don't know what reason... Having sunday blues in the early morning... Looked like a living zombie when I look into the mirror while brushing my teeth... Sigh... Am I a human I thought to myself... Sigh...

Woke up at around 11plus... Waiting for a message though... But... No... No message from the one that I yearn for... So it's ok... Expecting too much... Feeling that the Sunday is not only being a blue one... But it's a dark blue Sunday... Sigh... When finally received a message from that particular person... Just feel that it's kinda different now... Am I being over-sensitive or what...??? Sigh... My human sensor... Hopefully it's down and needs some repair works to be done...

Bad day... Everything that were pre-planned were not done... None... Sadded... Of course, must take into consideration of third party factors, emergency factors, last minute decision and of course the feeling of the one doing it... All I can do is give suggestions as I am not really in the right position to do all those things... Sigh... All I can do is say... In the end, nothing's done...

Need to keep to promises... Even though that might be tough for that particular thingy, but I just have to get use to the life without it... Maybe as time passed by, it will be better... Without being so in-touch will let us forget about the feelings I have now... People used to say this... 时间能慢慢冲淡一切... It's true... So let's just wait for the time to pass...

Hopefully this Sunday Blue will passed quickly... All the best...

2006-08-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

5th August 2006, Saturday...

Today is Rui Yue's 20th birthday... The only thing I give her is my sincere blessings and wishes... Maybe that's better than a gift...??? Sigh... Also don't know what to buy for her... She's not just a normal friend... Maybe that's why its tough...

Eryn is coming home also later... From what I know... Should be around 3-5pm... I think the first thing she would do is bathe and have a good sleep... I'm not sure whether will she be eating dinner also... Sigh... How I wished tonight can arrive faster...

Went out with my army friends, Kenneth and Yi Da, just now... Or rather yesterday, Friday... We watched "The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift"... It wasn't a good show... Story line is terrible... Drifting scenes were ok... Not a show that I would recommend...

Li Yan didn't blame me... But... I just felt bad over it... Even though it's just a small matter... Maybe everything is fated... One is gone... While another will appear...

Sigh... What's the point of thinking so much... Anyway... Just hoping that Eryn will come back sound and safe now...

2006-08-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

SORRY...!!!

Really so sorry Li Yan... I'm so full of confident and trust that I would be able to not let you down... In the end... I still failed... I've let myself down too... I'm really very sorry... But I don't want to give any excuses... Please do get angry with me... Maybe only then I can feel better... Maybe to you it's a small matter... But... I think I'm no longer trustworthy... Sigh... I'll learn my lesson... Really sorry... Lucky you can wake up on time and is not late for work today... Really feeling very bad... Sorry my dear friend...

Sigh... These few days experienced something different... The lack of messages... The misses... Don't know what happened to Janicia also... Always like that... I wonder what am I to her... Will never know what she is thinking... Sigh... Forget it...

Short blog... Have tons of things to write... But my mind is empty now... Sigh... Feeling so sorry for Li Yan... I've really let you and myself down... Sad... =(

1 more day... Just more day... Tomorrow something good will happened... Because... It's Rui Yue's 20th birthday...!!! Well... Who is she...??? Long story... Those who are close with me will know... Especially my secondary school mates... Of course, Irwin and Li Yan will definitely know her also... Erm... Or hear me talking about her... Haven't been seeing Rui Yue for ages also... Hope that everything is going on well for her... 1 more even important thing is that... My dearest cousin Eryn will be safely back from her secondary 3 camp... Don't know how have she been all these while... Hopefully will be having great fun... Hopefully nothing bad actually happened... Of course will still worried for her even though it's a school event... But of course you will feel worried for someone important to you right...??? It's unavoidable... Just 1 more day... Praying that you will come back soon and safely...

Lastly... Li Yan... I'm really very very sorry... I know you don't mind... But please give me a few days to forgive myself... Best wishes... Hope to be your best pals forever too...

2006-08-03T15:26:00.000+08:00

These are my secondary school mates... The guys are the few of my close guy friends, namely Shun Cai, Hwee Siong and Wai Kok... Don't think that they might be evil looking or what, but in fact, they are nice people... Because, I'm nice too... So my close friends wouldn't be bad people... I hate bad people... And the girls... Also quite close... Actually... I'm rather socialable, especially with the female species... LoL...

2006-08-03T15:18:00.000+08:00

Cool... Isn't she sweet and pretty...??? Hahahaha... She's my dearest cousin Joanne... We are at a wedding dinner... Not ours of course... LoL... We were still ok... Not very very close... But still alright... Hahaha... Next sunday will be going to her school for the funfair... Kinda looking forward to it... Have been ages since I last went to a funfair... Wanted to enjoy myself a great deal...!!! Let's see if Li Yan and Janicia will be free to join me... Shall introduce Joanne to them... If Li Yan is going, surely will say how adorable she is... Hahaha... Janicia, don't be jealous oh... Hahaha... Next time we take nice pics then I publish here alright...???

2006-08-03T15:10:00.000+08:00

She is my dearest cousin Shu Fang... One of Eryn's twins sister... Isn't she just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute...??? Twins are just so hard to differentiate... Till now... I still can hardly find out who's who without looking at the critical clue... LoL... Maybe wait till we are closer then I can straight away tell... Hmmm... Haven't been seeing her online lately... Hopefully everything went on great for her... Hope to see you soon... Oops... Shu Wen please don't jealous... It's not that I don't like you or what, next time when we take nicer pics then I publish here alright...??? I sure will...

2006-08-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

She's my dearest cousin Eryn... She is just so sweet, cute, gentle, quiet, loving, kind, honest little girl... Erm... At least in my eyes for now... Wait till I have the chance to know her more before I can give a more definite answer and views... Finally get to see her...??? Didn't get her permission to make this posting... Hopefully she don't mind... Argh... Please don't be angry with me alright... Isn't she just look great in there...??? 2 more days and you will be back from your camp... Hope that you will come back safely... Must be having lots of fun there... Happy for you... Come back soon oh... Because everyone of us are waiting for you to come back... Janicia must be dotting when she read this... As if Eryn went on an overseas trip... LoL... Hey Eryn... Next time must take a photo with me ok... Just put your pic here not good enough... I want to put a photo with us in it... It's us... Not you only or me only... From last time say until now haven't take even one... Sigh... So the next time I see you, must take pics with me... Not one... But many many... I don't care oh... ^-^

My Dad & Me

2006-08-03T15:00:00.000+08:00

Am I not cute...??? Can't imagine that's how I look like when I'm just a little boy... Just like Prince Charming... Because I'm fair enough to ride a white horse... LoL... Lame... Zzz... That's like so long ago... Anyway... Hopefully in the future, will get a baby as cute as this picture... LoL... Definitely right...??? Or should I say hopefully... OMG... Please do...

2006-08-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

Changes...

Things are constantly changing... Just like people... Everything are just changing constantly... But why am I still the same... Being restless for almost 3 months... And there isn't any improvements... Sigh... Actually I wanted not to sigh anymore... But... I can't... Gas is running out... Need someone to motivate me and keep me going... Sigh... When can I ever live for myself than living for someone else...

Bought a few Japanese books and 1 dictionary to make me at least understand some little Japanese... But, I haven't been progressing... Have been rather slack... Only refer to the books when I wanted to sms "YOU" something, but not meant for you to know... But no more from now... What's the point right...??? But now, I need to learn the Japanese as a language and not as a means to sms you something that I wanted to say but can't tell you directly... Maybe this will be the last time I stop confusing myself...

Have been thinking quite a lot lately... Problems... Solutions... More problems... Less solutions... Think I'm just creating more troubles for myself... What's really with me...??? I've no clear understanding about myself too... Need to talk to someone... But just don't know who to look for and how to say this other than to look for my cousin Janicia... At least for this thingy that's troubling me, finding her is the best... Maybe... But can't really get hold of her... So ultimately, I just think on my own... I'm already 23... So have to really decide things on my own...

I maybe a good consultant to other peoples' problems, but in handling my own... I'm really not good in it... Sigh... Pathetic chap... Sometimes, thinking clearly will know what to do, but instantly, can just lost focus and started to dwell about it again... Think the best way to forget is still not to keep in touch...??? I use to think of other alternatives like directing the kinda liking to something else, but it's really useless... Because when facing you, I just can't change... Or is it that I don't want to...??? I think I've been poisoned... The only doctor who can save me... Will be myself...

Everyday was spending my day meaninglessly... Waiting for people to tag me, so that I can reply them... Or visiting some people's blogs and tag... Other than that was like lan-gaming or msning... Maybe the best thing to do still is to watch tv and sleep... This blog skin is really what I'm feeling... Just hope to sleep forever... I know I'll get to sleep forever someday...

My cousin Eryn is going on a Secondary 3 camp tomorrow... Will be from 2nd Aug till 5th Aug... A 4 days 3 nights camp I suppose... Hope that she've packed every necessary stuffs over... Hope that she will take good care of herself too... And come back sound and safe... That's the most important thing... May GOD bless her forever...

This evening have been calling cousin Janicia twice... Quite early though, but she didn't answer the phone call... Not sure if anything crops up or what... Just kinda strange that she slept so early, according to her normal sleeping timing...

Has kinda a rough idea what should I do and what I should not do from now... Hopefully I can be determined enough to do it as to stop creating more troubles for others as well as for myself... No more unstable and unreal relationships... No more infatuation and likings for anyone... Just hope can have a closer kinship with my cousins and closer friendship with my close friends... Also to make new friends like Tricia and Jing... Why this 2 girls...??? Because... They are the only 2 new friends, if they consider as my friend also, that I've got recently... Indirectly through my cousin Eryn... Loving the 命中注定 is sweet... Loving the 有缘无份 is a terrible feeling... Being wrong once is moe than enough... Can't afford to be wrong again... And of course can't hurt anyone too... Especially "YOU"... You will always be one of my dearest...

Actually have so much to say... But in the end... Don't know why I can only type this long... Maybe some things can't be said out too obviously... Hopefully I can control my feelings and emotions and put a stop to all these...

P.S. So grateful to have you around all this while... Even though we just become closer not long ago but we still do not know each other well... Maybe I've been thinking too much about this special relationship, but I'll try to stop it I promise... 不能开花结果的爱情, 是不会有将来的... Your future is still bright and colourful... I'll always try my best to be there for you when you ever need me... Sorry to have caused you much troubles if you ever felt any... I know I've definitely creating more troubles for myself ever since then, but if you don't feel the same way I feel for you, then you won't have so much troubles... And maybe you really don't feel that way too... That's why your reactions can be as such... Am I expecting too much or what... Sigh... I think I'm drifting further again... Need to bring myself back to the reality and move on... Don't let me fall for you again... As the pit is not deep, I need to climb out fast and not stay in the imaginary pit for too long... Don't let me stay there please... And don't let me step back again...

Let's move on Jiahan... Don't always say and don't do it... If this goes on, I will not be a trustworthy guy anymore... Can't let myself deteriorate anymore... Xie Jiahan is a good guy... And I shall always remain as such...

Finally bought my long awaited animations... Ichigo 100% and Suzuka... Made in Malaysia I suppose... That's why it's kinda cheap... So angry... Should have bought it from Japan... I'm not really those who will spend a lot on myself... Maybe will be a little spendthrift on food... But seldom will buy things for myself other than my first collections on TWINS albums... Not really those Super Twins Die Hard Fans... But still those alright kinds... Other than the Twins Albums, these animations are on my favourites list now... Might be buying some comics as well... But it really depends as investing in comics need a really huge amount of capital... Thinking about this, I think I need to buy some more animations... If not, will be investing in comics too... Made in Malaysia... Grrr... Kinda angry... Should have asked the originality before I order... Sigh... Because I'm too happy when I know there are animations of the titles that I like... Sigh... I will go Japan one day... Shall see whether will I still be in love with animations, and will get those original copies one day if I ever still liked them... Because, I don't think will be that soon if I can save the amount to make a trip to Japan... Enjoying the trip need tons of money...

Talking about money, will means needing a job and a stable income... But I'm still lost... No directions... I really don't know what I really like to do... I love counselling... But that's quite impossible as a career as I need to spend more years studying and I will be very old by then... Regretted that I've graduated from University of South Australia, if not, I would have gone over to study now instead of staying in Singapore and brood over so much things that have no happy endings... But just have to move on from where I am... Doing sales is really so interesting but I really not so interested in such interesting job... Maybe still stick to research and analysis work... But more often than not, they need experience people and not greenhorns like me... Sigh... Ultimately... Still jobless... I think I'm plain restless to look for a job seriously... Sigh...

Let me settle my thoughts before I really get started... Excuses or whatever you wanted to say... Let me cool down before I concentrate on job... Let me love you for the remaining days left before it's over...

2006-08-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

The Lake House...

Cool... Rather nice movie... Went to Eng Wah located at Toa Pa Yoh Entertainment Centre to catch the movie... Actually wanted to watch 7pm show... But Li Yan couldn't make it on time, so we watched 9pm show instead... So... We have almost 2 hours of free time before the show starts, so we went to one of my "past" dinner place for dinner... Why is it past dinner place... It's one of "our" favourite TPY eating place in the past... "OUR" = me and shirley... The food there is not bad, especially the bubble tea... So I introduce the nice eating place to Li Yan... She like the place also and wanted to recommend to her friends as well... Nothing much in TPY... Girls just love to shop for clothes... Li Yan is also one of them... But we didn't really shop as she find it so tempting to shop for clothes... But didn't go because she will waste money again... So... We just walked around till time's up before we head back to the cinema for the nice movie... Not a tear-jerking show though... But funny and kinda romantic... Not going into details in here, but it's recommended to watch... So people reading this, if you are free, can go and enjoy the show... After movie, was around 10:30pm... So I sent her home... Around Kovan area... Took a bus and passby Eryn's and Janicia's house... So kinda think of them... But I guessed that they slept early... Must be real tired... *huggies*...

Made a new friend recently... Tricia Aka Xin...??? Don't know what "star" she belongs to... So just know her as Tricia... She is Eryn's classmate I suppose... Thanks for tagging me... Hahaha... Or rather returning the tag because I tagged you first, but is without your consent and Eryn's consent... Don't know whether will she hate me for this despicable action... Eryn... Please don't... =( Sorry alright...??? But the worst thing is... Before I think it's despicable... I went to tag Jing... Zzz... Don't hate me please... Sob Sob Sob... You are still my precious k...??? Erm... Cousin... Precious cousin if you want......... =(

Still slacking as usual... Good jobs are hard to find... Zzz... Got to go for now... Misses "YOU" much...

2006-07-30T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...

Am I thinking too much or what... Sometimes... Or rather maybe many times I just did... How long can 2 mins be...??? It can be quite long... But most often, it is very short... Even though it's the longest 2 mins for now... But its still quite short... Well... Puzzled...??? It's ok... Because I understand... LOL... Shouldn't we just made improvement as we keep trying...??? Hopefully after some time, the conversation will be less tense, less awkward, less heartbeat while having more topics, more time, more close... Broken English... Zzz...

So just let things be for now... But... Shall just let nature take its course like what someone said... LoL... Your name shall be kept confidential...

Tomorrow going to watch movie "The Lake House" with Li Yan... Long awaited show... Kinda... Should be a nice show we suppose... Going Bishan to watch... Or Toa Pa Yoh... So it really depends...

New month... New start... Hopefully...

2006-07-26T15:56:00.000+08:00

很烦啊...!!!

真是超无聊。。。不知不觉地过了接近三个月的懒惰时光。。。真没想到我是这么懒惰的。。。可是。。。理想的工作难找嘛。。。就像是理想情人。。。“叹” 是须要时间慢慢寻找，慢慢培养的。。。超支过急的爱情是不会开花结果的。。。现在没事业，没金钱，没车，没房子。。。怎么去找女朋友呢? 可是，也没有真的打算去找了。。。一个人过生活就好了。。。直到该结婚的年龄再做打算。。。 “叹” 本以为还想早婚，可是以现在的情况看来，晚婚的机率比较高。。。

可是从现在开始，我不会再胡思乱想，或是想太多了。。。一切以成过往云烟。。。短暂的快乐是难过。。。长久的快乐是幸福。。。

幸福并非来的容易。。。不是金钱所能买来的。。。能买回来的，只有一时的快乐。。。可是。。。没有金钱，又怎么得来快乐? 没有快乐，又怎么得来幸福呢? 快乐不代表幸福，可是，幸福却是快乐的象征。。。

幸福离我太遥远了。。。强求只能带来痛苦。。。现在这样就好了。。。

Today is a boring day... Because I slept till 3pm in the noon... I was really too tired mentally... That's why woke up so late today... Was determined to wake up early from now, to at least learn my Japanese and also more stuffs than just sleep, eat and play... Actually thought that this week would be able to start afresh with my new life... And I thought that everything I do is still fine... But obviously its not... The point now is to give up, and start all over again... Afresh... Can I do it...??? I hope so... I need to... I want to... A change is all I need... A change of feelings, thinkings and also redivert it to other alternatives...

*Sigh* Actually going for a movie tonight with Li Yan... But, she have got something on... So... It's cancelled again... "The Lake House" I reckon it to be a nice movie... And currently, the best person to watch it with would be Li Yan... So, will just watch it with her, other than if she can't really make it... Just feel so comfortable when I was with her... We are just kinda similar in some ways, thinkings, feelings and taste... But... We are just very good friends... Nothing much...

There are a number of shows coming soon also... Would be nice I suppose... "Barnyard", "The Ant Bully", "Monster House", The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift" and "The Break-Up"... 3 cartoons, 1 Action/Adventure and 1 Comedy... Just to add 1 more... Maybe "Click" would be nice too... Maybe...

If Janicia read this, she should be messaging me or tagging me to ask me not spend so much money... And blah blah blah... Sounded more like my Aunty Janicia rather than Cousin Janicia... Can't imagine this girl who is 10years younger than me, can nag like someone who is 20 years older... LOL... Don't boil yourself alright when you read this... Hahahahaha...

Shall go off for now... No more things can be said... Some gaps are meant to be breach and bridged... Some are meant to grow further apart... While others are meant to remain as it is... Nothing can be done to change it... It's fated... And maybe it's better also... Learn to be happy... I will learn to be happy...

原来，在不知不觉中，也会喜欢上你。。。真的好想你。。。放弃并非易事，只是在于时间的长短。。。我会努力的。。。努力的把你忘记。。。努力的把这一份爱，变成另一份爱意。。。只有这样，才可能继续看见你。。。早知道就不告诉你了。。。真希望你在想些甚么。。。下一次看见你会是怎么样的呢。。。???

2006-07-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

LOL...

Hahahahahaha... Find it so Kawaii Ne... Who...??? LOL... She is none other than... "HER"... LOL... Just went to read her blog, so find out a number of interestind and funny stuffs about her past... Kinda the past... Not very long ago though... Hahahahahaha... Can see that her secondary school days are really fun... Made me think of my secondary school days also... LOL... What an experience... I love my secondary school life also... Just started reading, so I was like at the beginning of the blog only, but can somehow feel how she feel during some events and occassions... Feel pain when she is pain... Laugh when it's funny... Smile when she is happy... Hahahaha... Really so funny... Don't think too much... She is not my girlfriend... She is just someone... Someone... LOL... Come to think of it, why didn't I think of visiting her past blogs and only focus on the current ones... LOL... She blog so funny... Can imagine how silly and kawaii is she... Full of funny, silly, happy, sad, etc etc things... Shall just carry on reading when I'm free... Don't what can I say to her other than Gambatte Ne... In the means of learning Japanese... Hopefully can learn a few more new words and remember them...

Just remember that I went to watch "Hoodwinked" this afternoon... Actually wanted to watch this cartoon with Janicia, but she have been so busy to accompany me, so I just have to watch with someone else... What about Eryn...??? Well, she will never have time for me... Especially going out... It's the same as mission impossible... The only chance to see her is... Either go her house, if not, would be family gathering or special occassions... So it's more like once a year or something like that... Sigh... Meeting Janicia is a lot more easier... Sigh... But anyway... Janicia, let's see if you are free for "Barnyard"... The movie that is going to walk on 2 legs... 4 legs... 2 legs... 4 legs... 2 legs... 4 legs... Lame... But... If you are not free then it's ok... There are a few more cartoons coming up too... But I can understand how busy you will be as the exams are coming real close... Glad that you score well for your maths... Just keep up the good work and get higher results for your final exams... Remember, never set your target to just pass... But distinctions... Or what you call A1 or A* in secondary school... Must get posted to Express stream soon...!!! You can definitely do it... If you still doubt yourself... Then you can ask Mr Nike for advice... But I think the only advice it can give you is... Just Do It... LoL... Lame... Hahahahaha... You must be dotz-ting right...??? Hahahaha... And I think Eryn will be (-_-)... This icon is a bit ugly... But my little Eryn is not oh... (^-^) Don't know how she sound when she sings... Erm... Why I suddenly talk about this... Zzz... But think never able to hear her sing also... Suddenly felt so heart pain when read one of her blog... Sigh... Can feel the pain in her... Because, currently, my heart hurts too... Yet at that incident, I'm not really close with them and can do nothing much about it but only to visit them... Sigh... Can't say it too obvious though... But... Just felt that pain in my heart...

Come to think of it, how I get to know Eryn... Hmmm... Can't really remember, but it was at one of the family gathering that I went, and saw this cute little girl there... But was super quiet and shy... Think her younger twin sisters' are more sociable than her... Hahahaha... Even though they are still so shy... But just kinda took notice of the quiet one... While Kenley and Xavier were not strangers to me... While Celest, Janicia and Shalaine was still ok also at that point of time... Maybe it's because guys are not shy in nature while Shalaine is Aunty Joyce daughter, so would dote on her also... And Celest and Janicia, ever though were girls, but not really that shy... Hahahaha... That's why we can talk more... Think it's only last year gathering, when I get closer with all of them, especially Eryn and Janicia... While kinda this year, then was like closer with everyone on one occassion, especially with Janicia, Shu Fang and Shu Wen, because we stayed over at Aunty Joyce house. Talk so much and play together. Hahaha... Think will never forget about that... That bring us a little closer... Just too bad that Eryn was sick, so she did not go for that gathering and obviously didn't able to stay over night... Sigh... But during their school holiday this June, I went over to their house 2 times, so was kinda good even though it's a little far... Was still happy that I'm able to see them though... Sigh... But... We are not close at all... Don't even know a thing about them... Have to read the blog to find out... Because, it's quite hard to have a good chat with her to understand her also... She is just too busy with her studies and friends... Sigh... Am I expecting a little too much... Maybe I did... Sigh...

4am in the morning... Time to sleep... Gotta wake up soon again... Say... 2 plus hours time... Wake up to call Li Yan, then message someone... Sigh... Think gotta be sad again... Don't want to think about it again... Just let nature take its course...

2006-07-24T03:02:00.000+08:00

Updates...

Well... Went for my Brother's 25th Birthday celebration on Saturday... My whole family... Including My Parents, My Eldest Sister and her Boyfriend, My Elder Brother and his Wife plus baby, My Brother's Best Friend, and Prince Charles Aka Jiahan... Why his best friend is in our family celebration...??? Kinda weird... Made me thought am I a gay or something... Because there were 3 couples, and me and my brother's friend were like without a partner... So... Argh... Disgusting... Should have brought my "Girlfriend" there as well... It's a family celebration... But... "She" is not free... Or rather... I don't even know who is "She" and where is "She"... LOL... Lame... But at that instant, really hope can bring my "Girlfriend" to family gatherings... Sigh... That time was like can't understand how my sister felt when she was single and I was attached... Which was like... Years ago... Now I can kinda understand... LOL... Retribution on me...

Sigh... Actually, wanted to tell someone so many things... But, our time just doesn't match well plus many other factors... So it's really kinda hard... Maybe will write a story book size of whatever I wanted to say and email to "That Person"... There are just so many things to think about and share... But there's a distance between us... Sigh... Will email be able to breech the gap...??? I wonder...

Still no replies from Virtual Map... Kinda bored... Think I really didn't get the job... Over-confidence... Kinda disappointed but not really also, because it's not my dream job... For the sake of gaining experiences still alright... Need to get a job also, if not, how am I suppose to support my "Girlfriend" and get married in few years time... Or maybe ultimately, I might be getting married real late while waiting for that "Special Someone" to appear... Sigh... I'm really very lazy and dependent... Normally will only get motivated if I have a girlfriend, doing somethings with "Someone" in mind is better than doing things for myself... That's what I usually think... At least it will make me feel better... Doing things for myself seems rather meaningless sometimes... No matter how tough or tedious the things maybe, just because "She" is on my mind, will make the job easier... LOL... It's true you know... Or maybe it only applies to me...

This weekend were rather meaningful... LOL... Because, I won money during this 2 days of Mah Jong sessions with Wai Kok, Wai Yin and Hwee Siong... Won $(x) amount in just 18 hours... Of course the amount would be a secret... Just enough for me to pass my days... I don't really spend much also because I seldom went out... Neither do I always buy things for myself... The only main expenses would be on eating... I just love food... LOL... That's why my size is as such... Argh... How to go to my relatives gathering end of the year if I'm growing fatter... No face to see them... Zzz... The Charming Prince will turn to a toad... Zzz... Hmmm... But if that's the case, then hopefully a "Princess" will kiss the Prince Toad, to turn him back into human... Zzz... Being LAME again... Zzz... But will the "Princess" kiss the Toad if the Prince really turn into a Toad...??? I think she will just run away... Zzz... Or maybe I think a little too far and too much... End of year is so long... When will I ever see "Them" again... It's another 4-5 months more... Hmmm... Not really that long actually... But... There's a saying goes... 一日不见, 如隔三秋... Meaning without seeing "Someone" for one day, it seems like haven't been seeing her for 3 years... Then from now till the chalet, it will be... (4 months = 122 days, 122 X 3 = 366 years)... Zzz... It would be more than 3 centuries... OH MY GOD... I think my brain will be dead by then... Zzz... Lame right...??? Maybe it's time to sleep... Zzz... Just slept for 4 hours yesterday... Later have to wake up early again to wake Li Yan up... Then message "Someone"... Then go back to sleep again... And have to meet Shun Cai at Bugis around lunch time to shop around... Actually it's only like accompany him to do his shopping... But most probably I will get something for myself also as a kinda reward... Need some new clothings as well... Might be buying a bicycle as well, so that can go cycling at night... A form of exercise as well as saving on transports if going out for supper... But shall see how it goes...

Have been thinking of "Someone" so much lately... Am I being too dependent or what... *Shoo Shoo*... Need to chase away the thought... If not, might end up getting upset easily... Or rather already kinda have that kinda thoughts... But have to control it before the "Cancer Cells" spreads... Just kinda getting to dependent on "Someone" already... Sigh... Bad... Plus I'm already so old... Still so dependent... More over, it's to that "Someone"... Sigh... You all will never know who the person is... So don't bother asking or guessing...

Felt like typing a long story for "Someone"... But it's really gonna be real long... Longer than any composition anyone did in school... Wait till I have reorganize my story and stuffs before I get into it... Or maybe never... Sigh... Don't even know should I... There are just so many things to take into considerations... It's really a lot... Really really a lot... Not as in say yes or no then that's it... A lot of considerations and consequences plus after effect plus... Just so many things... What happened if, I'm thinking too much... LOL... Usually I think that's the case... Zzz... So... Better to go sleep than to keep thinking of the unnecessary stuffs...

2006-07-22T09:07:00.000+08:00

Zzz...

Woke up real early again today... But wanted to go back to sleep again later... Maybe... Woke up by a message... Made me think so much... Sigh... Sometimes I think I'm over sensitive or something... Sigh... Many things that I wanted to know but yet I think I will never know them... Or rather... Maybe years later... Don't even know how and when to find out... Sigh... But to keep a sober mind... There are many things I wanted to say but can't say also... How much will it affect everyone... But I'm not those kinda person who can keep things in my heart... Can't really share with anyone also... BIG *sigh* Felt like calling you to hear your voice... But... Calling doesn't seems to help also... Might just make the matter worst... Kinda... Too much to worry about... I Miss You, you know... You know who are "YOU"...??? Don't tag me to ask... Because I won't say... But would you know that the "YOU" is actually you even if I don't say... Maybe someone might have guessed that the "YOU" is you... But if I don't say that "YOU" is actually you, then no one will know that the "YOU" is really you... Sounds complicated yeah...??? Of course should make it sound so complicated so that no one will know what is what and who is who...

Updates on my home affairs... Having a baby is really a tough job... Cry and cry and cry... But the greater achievement from all the crying is to calm "him" down and make "him" smile, after all those crying of course... It's a really tough job... Need to clean the "crap" out of him, bathe him, carry him, tender him to sleep, etc etc etc... Why is it a him...??? Well, because he is my little nephew, Mr Xie Sheng Hang... Carry baby is really heavy... Long term wise of course... Tender him to sleep is another major issue... Maybe I'm still young... LoL... It's a joy and a chore as well... Come to think of it... Previously I always wanted a baby daughter first... But maybe having a son first is better... So that my precious daughter would have an elder brother to look after her... Maybe I watched too much 秋天的童话... LOL... But not really... Or maybe it's because I always wanted to have a baby sister to love and care for... Maybe it's because I'm the youngest and always get bullied when I was so much younger... That's why I feel this way... But you must be wondering why is it a baby sister and not brother... Well... Because, generally, guys are more rebellious... Other than me of course... Because, ever since young... So young... I was taken care of by my sweetest nannies... And naturally, human are born kind hearter, plus in that kinda loving environment, thus I grew up to be someone not really bad as well... But humans are not perfect of course... I am not perfect too... I think that's the more I should keep "some" things to myself to don't cause "YOU" any troubles... I'm sorry... But due to too much differences, I guess that's the only way... Sometimes thinking of it... Did I think a little too much...??? I don't even know what "YOU" are thinking now... What a joke... Cousin Janicia, don't really know since when and what happened that makes us just so "stranger" like... Never the same before... Am I too sensitive or what...??? But just feel the difference because it's too obvious... She's just like my little sister... But I never know what she is thinking... Bad... Just like my cousin Eryn... Never know what she is thinking also... Zzz... Think the major problem is really age gap... Not to mention 10 years of age gap... Even 8 years seems so long... But they are a bunch of cousins worth doting on... Not forgetting Shu Fang, Shu Wen, Shalaine, Celest, Kenley, Xavier, etc etc etc... They are from my nannies side... Kinda feeling happy when having gathering with them... Very happy... Time with them is getting shorter and shorter... Regretted that I didn't managed to have more gatherings when I was younger... Sigh...

Going to my friends affairs now... Irwin might be back in September... Maybe... Hopefully also... So can go to our usual hideout place together and enjoy the half or one dozen chicken wings... Sigh... I'm getting fatter and fatter... That's so sad... Can't get back my previous weight of *secret*... If not, I will just stay at home... Can't stand it... But I'm just too lazy... Sigh... Useless chap... Need some motivations... Li yan, busy working until not enough time to do other things... Happy and worry for her as well... But I know that she can handle things rather well, just that need more rest and take more good care of herself... Which she will always say she know, but never do... But will soon meet up with her for a movie "The Lake House"... A movie I think would be romantic... Would be going to Genting with Hwee Siong in early August... Not sure whether will there be any changes, or new candidates... But 2 of us going genting seems just so gay... Argh... But kinda promise already, so don't have much choices... Unless things crops up... So it really depends...

Wanted to watch "Hoodwinked" as well... Hmmm... But don't think anyone old would be interested in watching cartoons... Sigh... Need to find someone more childish like me... LOL... Shall see how it goes...

August coming up... Need to be more aggressive in searching for a job... Can't just mingle around aimlessly... How to get a girlfriend in my current status... But not really so desperate for one also... Come to think of it... What's the ideal age difference one guy should have in searching for a girlfriend...??? I remembered Aunty Joyce say 8... But many others say 3, due to that guys are mentally impaired compared to girls by 3 years... As for me... Sometimes I would wonder shouldn't I just find someone who's older than me... LOL... But of course this is something that I will never accept, just thinking of it for arguement sake... Arguement with myself... Because, apparently, guys seems to die earlier than most girls... So, in order not to leave my wife so much earlier, shouldn't I find someone who's older than me...??? Hahahahaha... It's kinda lame, but kinda true in a way as well right...??? How could I just leave my beloved wife living alone in this world without me... The bigger the age gap, the more I would think... How could my wife survive without me... It's not that I think too highly of myself, but it's because she would be so important to me that I can't leave her handling the cruel world alone... Even if we have kids, but they will eventually have their own lives... Am I thinking a little too far... Maybe... But something I need to think of when going into a relationship... A relationship is something worth thinking and not just jump into it blindly... Just because I value it... Made a mistake once and never will I do the same stupid mistake again... Saying out all these does makes me feel better and more aware of what I wanted and should do... Some relationships are best maintained as such... Others are best to improve it in terms of kinships... Even though I really like "YOU" so much and miss "YOU" so much... But the only way not to hurt and lose someone is to maintain what we have now and not go any further... I don't want to lose you too... Never... Plus there are just so many factors behind it... I will try not to think so much... Searching for a career is more important now... Whatever things will be, will be... The future not for us to see... What will be, will be... Without realizing, wrote another long essay... Hope that "YOU" would read it if ever possible... Not many people have my blog address nor come to my blog often... Do "YOU"...??? Never mind, I'm more concern that you should concentrate on whatever is important to you now than whatever things else... *Mizz*

2006-07-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

!!!...ARGH...!!!

Crap... They didn't call... MY EMPLOYER DIDN'T CALL ME... Zzz... Sigh... High hope... In the end, the result is as such... No calls... No calls = better opportunities out there... Zzz... Start looking for better offers now... Kinda relieve... Relieve...??? Well... In a way... Because, I can continue to slack again... *Yawn*... Useless fellow... Can't believe I am like that... Zzz...

Sigh... Recently something happened... Kinda... Just kinda shock from the "news"... Suddenly don't know what a mess I've created... Sigh... Something beyond control yet kinda under control... Argh... Can't imagine that it really happened... Sigh... Anyway... Shouldn't be a problem to solve the issue... So no worries... Maybe it's better this way now...

Hmmm... My cousin Joanne's school is organising a funfair on the 13th August 2006... Kinda super long never went to funfair... So should be going... ALONE... Life without a partner is like that, everywhere I go, will be alone... LOL... But anyway... Seldom go out also, so it doesn't really makes any difference... Going funfair alone seems kinda boring... Need to find someone to go with me... Let's see which girl is free... LOL... Going to funfair with a guy seems so gay... Might even meet up with my relatives... Hmmm... Let's see how it goes then... In the end, might go alone... Don't think anyone would be free anyway...

Nothing much really happened other than these... But just some distances are drifting apart... While some are just so unsure... Sigh... Something to ponder over... When some people say... We are getting closer... What does that mean...??? Closer without understanding of oneself means closer...??? Sigh... Come to think of it... Other than some friends, I'm not really close to many others... Even if we are relatives or what... Are we really that close when I don't know anything about you and you don't know anything about me... Sigh... Wanted to be close to someone isn't easy when we don't share anything... Think over this...

Might be going Genting sometime later with Hwee Siong and maybe Wai Kok... They are my secondary school buddies till now... But think it falls on Yue's birthday... So shall see how it goes...

Did I really flunk for that job... Kinda wanted to work while don't feel like it at the same time... Can't slack any longer... If not... I don't know when will I have enough money to get married... Zzz... Even though I do not have a girlfriend now nor suitable candidates... Zzz...

That's about all... Some feelings are hard to hide... But showing out without thinking clearly... Will it harm anyone...??? If its not meant to be... Then no point doing anything to make it mean anything... Sigh... What am I talking about... Zzz... Think I need some more rest...

2006-07-20T12:06:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY

Woke up real early today... Kinda... Slept at around 4-5am in the morning and woke up at 630am to wake Li Yan up... Just in case she couldn't wake up on time for her work... Envy of her...??? Hahahaha... Privileges are not for everyone... Then message Eryn to give her morning greetings... Come to think of it... Why didn't I message Janicia... Zzz... It's been sometime since I last message her... Why...??? Hmmm... Something worth pondering over... Can't remember ever since when, or which occassion, that we begin to drift away... Sigh...

Updates on past few days... Went on my kinda FIRST formal interview on tuesday... Not really first... Not really formal as well... So... It's just another interview... But anyway... The company is kinda "AMAZING"... Hmmm... Things with inverted commas just mean the opposite... Did I get the spelling right...??? Well, whatever... Back to the company... Argh... Just remember that I have to do a research and study up on the company's information and products... As if I can really clinched the job... Well, confidence and six sense do help... At least mine work sometimes... So later shall just read up on the products so that when I start working would be relevant... But what if I didn't manage to get it...??? ARGH... Then I have to get my butt moving on a new job search... Time's up for slacking... It's time to be serious... Hopefully this can be my last week of enjoyment and commence work on the coming monday...

Hmmm... Come to think of it... Rui Yue's birthday is coming... Sigh... Should I get her something...??? Or maybe just sent her a message greeting... Haven't seen her for quite some time... Who is she...??? Well, those people who are close with me will know... Hahahahaha...

Sigh... Secondary school days... What a life... The only thing to worry about is homework, school work and exams... And that's about it... Even though will have some crushes here and there... But puppy love wouldn't last... At least I'm sensible enough to forgo my "Love-at-first-sight"... Everytime talk about Yue will make me think of this... Sigh... But lucky as well, if not, we wouldn't be able to maintain friendship till now...

Anyway... Best of luck for me... Hopefully can get a positive reply from my EMPLOYER... LOL... Let's pray...

2006-07-17T01:31:00.000+08:00

<<秋天的童话 cont...>>

Finally finished the whole movie after so long... Even when watching the terrific korean drama series I'm slacking... Sigh... Anyway... It's a really nice show... Argh... Cheated my tears and heart... She died... 恩熙 died in the end... Sigh... So sad... Very very sad... She's a wonderful girl in the show... In all aspects... 恩熙 and 俊熙 got married in the end after so much... But ultimately, 俊熙 died too... Sigh... But that is a better ending... What's the point of living in the world when your dearest is gone...??? I think I will choose the same as well... The one living behind is the most pathetic one... Sigh... I hope can die on the same day with my dearest... Or a day after... Definitely can't be any earlier... Argh... Sad... But so sweet... Love 恩熙 so much...

2006-07-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

<<秋天的童话>>

SUPERB nice show... Cheated my tears... Though it's running around my eyes... Sigh... Really nice show... Complicated story... Make me curse and swear at the actor's actions... ARGH... So sad... In short, it's a very nice Korean Drama Series...

I left last DVD... Can't really remember the ending... Hopefully the Female Lead Actress don't die of leukemia... Sigh... So sad... Argh... After watching the show, just find it so sweet... If they can be together of course... Argh... Don't know what I'm talking about... Zzz... Just too absorb into the show... Kinda make me forget about the animations... LoL... Let's pray for 恩熙... Hoping that she will be free from leukemia and be with 俊熙...

Went Funan the IT Mall to enjoy Sakae Sushi with Lai Sheng, my army brother... The food there is ok... After that went shopping around and go to Chinatown Point to look for animations... That shop finally open for business... But do not have what I wanted... Instead I saw another two different anime... But of course I didn't buy... It will cost me $400 to buy two set's of anime... Guess what... DragonBall series cost more than $1000 to get 33boxes... I suppose... Still looking for other anime shops in Singapore... If anyone know please tag me alright...

That's all for today... Just now talk with Eryn... But...

The end...

2006-07-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

COOL...

Went out today... Almost for the whole day... Kinda tired... But still quite alright for me... Haven't been coming home at this hour for awhile... Woke up around 10 plus in the morning... Kinda woken up by Li Yan... But not really also, was kinda awake already as well... Sigh... She was asked down for an interview and needed another friend of hers, but I rejected her offer... The only chance to work with her... Sigh... Kinda regret... But it's like a no choice thingy... Not really no choice... But... Sigh... She will understand... Don't think will ever have the chance to work with her anymore... It was like the one and only chance... But... It's over now...

Anyway...

Went to catch a movie at Golden Village: Tiong Bahru Plaza, with my secondary school friends, Hwee Siong and Shun Cai... Watched "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"... A nice show but without a proper ending... Zzz... Which means... Stay tune for the third episode... After the movie, went to eat Steamboat Buffet also at Tiong Bahru Plaza... Not bad... Per pax is around $16.80... Eat all you can... So I ate quite a lot... But after the food, was kinda stink with the steamboat smell... Argh... Smelly... Grrr... So thought of going home after that... But went to meet Li Yan ultimately... Because, she was offered a job... Hahahaha... By Recruit Express... LoL... Was kinda happy for her, so just accompany her to sign the contract and a simple dinner at Orchard before she meet up with her friend for shepharding... So, I went to roam around for Comics Connection: Plaza Singapura to look for 草莓100% and 纯爱涂鸦... Wanted to buy a collection of it... But has yet to decide what publisher to buy from... Either Taiwan, which cost more, or Singapore edition, which is much cheaper... Sigh... But it's really nice comics... Love the love story comics so much... As in this two kinds... Not all... And it's definitely not because these comics are a little obscence, but because the stories within are really sweet... Sigh... It's gotta cost me a BOMB... Sigh... So was still pending... Most probably will buy though... But... Still pending...

Come to think of it, luckily I didn't buy the PSP, Playstation Portable... Its a waste of money... Lucky me... But now, was still thinking of what to do... Sigh... Undecisive and lazy... No motivation at all... Only know how to daydream... Wanted to go on a short holiday... But no one to accompany me and I have no idea where to go... Sigh... If I have a girlfriend, then things are different... I will be motivated to do many things... Erm... Most probably... Thinking of it, Li Yan says my future girlfriend would be kinda fortunate... She didn't say the word fortunate, but I think she kinda mean that way, because she say I would treat my girlfriend like a princess... Hahahaha... Maybe... Hahahahaha...

Hmmm... A new movie coming up... "The Lake House"... I think would be a marvellous romantic movie as well... Definitely going to catch that one... Hopefully she will be free to accompany by then... But she will be working... So shall see how it goes...

That's all for today... Shall see you all around... Feel free to tag me for anything...

2006-07-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

<<草莓 100%>>

SUPERB...!!! Best comics I ever read... It's like really so... NICE... Sigh... But of course, the better it is... The more "pressure" it has on me... Not really pressure... But more feelings put into it... Felt like... Felt like... Felt like being the 主角 of the comics... Even though he is not fantstically good looking or whatever, but due to his nature and personality, he managed to attract tons of nice girls around him... And I guarantee that all the girls are really nice... LoL... Even though the ending is not what I had initially imagine and really hope that "真中淳平", the 男主角 will be with another 女主角: "东城绫"... Instead of another 女主角: "西野司"... It's not that 西野司 is not good, in fact, she is another nice girl in the comics... But actually, all the characters in the comics are nice people... Hahahahaha... But just that, 真中淳平 and 东城绫 has great fate... Plus everything... Sigh... Made me think of the whole comics again... Angry that they are not together ultimately despite of having affection with one another... Argh... Getting so pissed... Zzz... Angry... Or rather... Maybe I felt this way is because I prefer girls like 东城绫... Sigh...

When can I meet my own... Or rather... Maybe I should be concentrating on my career instead... Comics are just a fantasy island for people like me... Who yearn for romantic and nice girls yet can't have it... LoL... Age 23 still thinking of all these... I think people will just roll on floor laughing... But... The comics is really nice... I bet everyone who read it will just love it so much... Even though I have read a few similar types of comics, but 草莓 100% is definitely going to be the top of my list... My favourite comics out of all...

Initially still thought 凉风 will be my favourite... But get to read more similar types... Like 纯爱涂鸦 and 草莓 100%... Really start falling in love again... But it's kinda like with the characters in the comics... Can't find similar girls in the reality... Or rather Singapore... Must go Japan... Hahahahaha... Lame... Zzz... 纯爱涂鸦 will rank second I suppose... It's just so nice... When can I start falling in love again... Zzz...

Recently nothing much pretty happened... Or rather I have yet to really determined to work hard... I still have no idea what I wanted... Sigh... Damn pathetic... When can I start having my own decision... Maybe that's why I do not stand out... Don't think any reality girls will fancy someone like me... Impractical... Naive... Ignorant... Childish... Likes day-dreamin, fantasizing, laze around, say so much yet can do nothing, stupid, blah blah blah... Sigh... Can't imagine can state out so much bad things about myself... I use to only remember the good ones... Yet can't really write any now... Sigh... What the hell am I writing this for...??? I'm not sure also... Sigh... Just crapping around... Argh... So absorb in the comics... Sigh... Need to wake up soon... Grrr...

2006-07-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

Finally...

Yeah... Graduation ceremony... Just attended that today... Cool... Though the whole thing was quite boring... Speeches... Speeches... And more speeches... And the coronation ceremony was like not as long... Hahahaha... It has been so long since I last go on stage to receive a prize... Wearing the graduation gown... Plus the square Mortar Board... LoL... Once in a life time yah...??? Hmmm... Not really if I go on to taking Masters... Hahahahaha... But that is impossible... At least for now... It's a NO NO NO...

Sigh... But it's a pity that Shirley didn't go... Still thought that I would be able to take a photo with her... Another thing is that my mum was expecting to see her... Hahahahaha... Was kinda shock when she ask me where is Shirley... Anyway...

Taken a few photos here and there... But due to the reception... My friends are busy eating... So I go off first... But did took a few photos with my parents and minority of friends... There goes a day... Tomorrow shall return the gown and everything... Hmmm... And also to collect my original certificate... LoL... Finally... After struggling so much and everything... It's all over... Need to start afresh...

Hmmm... Change of new living environment... As in shifting of my room furnitures... Hopefully to get a good and new feng shui... Plus finally getting my degree certificate... Plus kinda settling the secondary school regret... Hmmm... A brand new start...

Hopefully things will go through smoothly for me from now... And everybody around me as well...

Hmmm... Called eryn... But didn't pick up my call... Don't know what happened... Hmmm...

2006-07-04T14:34:00.000+08:00

Sigh...

Bad... Sad... What the heck... Sigh... Really regretted... But... Nothing can be done now I suppose... It's Karma... Or should be consequences... Sigh... Just waiting for forgiveness... Or rather a chance to apology... Can't even remember what's wrong then... Say... 9 years ago... But should be my fault... Now finally had a chance to keep in touch again... But no... She deny the chance, even with the great invention of handphone... Because she simply wouldn't reply or answer the call... Sigh... My bad... Feeling so guilty... I'm really sorry xiu yuan...

Just realize something this morning... Dreams doesn't occurs any oh how... But it does when you truely miss someone... When you long to see her again... Even if it is just a dream... Even if it is just for a few seconds... Even if you want it to be true but realize it is just a dream when you wake up... Even if it seems so real... But dream is still a dream... No matter how sweet... How sad... How bad... How loving... How cute... It only last that long in the dream... Everything is gone when you open your eyes... When you get pull back into the reality... No matter how much you want to drift back and dream again... But... Sometimes... Even when I know it is a dream... I just want to enjoy that few seconds of sweetness once more... Is it because I know that since I can never have a dream comes true... I still yearn for at least a dream... A dream for good things to happen... My own dream...

Maybe should work as a dreamer...

Enough about dreams...

Last night... In the middle of the night... I was arranging my room... Seems much spacious now... But kinda wanted to shift again... Hopefully luck will bestow soon... Kissing a good luck girl doesn't help... Because "Just My Luck" is just a movie... Even though its a good one... Anyway... The arrangement doesn't seems so nice after all... Might change again... Need to go Ikea again later... To buy a mirror for dressing and also a blanket or something... Was freezing last night and realize I only left one blanket after throwing off those torn and broken pieces...

Sigh... Tough luck... Changing sucks... Hate myself for the change...

2006-07-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

Disappointed...

Sigh... Bad things... Thought that I would be able to catch back with a long lost girl friend... But... NO... Gone... Forever... Zzz... Sigh... Couldn't expect much also... Sigh... Don't know what's wrong... Or maybe I'm right... Maybe it's because I've hurt her in the past...

Sigh... This is one of the things I regretted in life... Or rather only thing I regretted during my secondary school days... Because... She is such a nice girl... But... Can't really remember the reason for not contacting her ever since then... Still remember part and parcel of it... But just can't remember why didn't call her back... Sigh...

Sad... If that's really the case... But just hope that it is not the case... Hopefully... Because she is too nice a girl to get hurt... Sigh...

2006-07-03T08:19:00.000+08:00

Relieve...

Kinda... Have been slacking for so long... Until I'm so use to it now... Still can remember how I hate being so slack just after I resigned from the Recruitment Consultant job... But now... Everyday is just like holidays... But I know this is not what I wanted... Even though sometimes it is just so great to relax at home... Sleeping late... Waking up even later... Then do nothing for the rest of the day other than reading some lovey dovey comics... Watching some Vcds or Dvds... And sleep again... Once in awhile will go mahjonging with my secondary school pals till morning then go home sleep again... And life goes on as such...

And in fact... I just came home from Ron's house... Just after another session of mahjonging till around 6am... Then went for breakfast with Hwee Siong... Chatted for around an hour about guy's stuffs... Like courtship... Work... Leisure... Hmmm... Seldom have such chat with guys... Mostly just with Li Yan, Irwin or Steph... It's really an enjoyable one though... Kinda can't admit... But really getting older... Come to think of it... Can't remember how to court a girl now... In the past... I'm still "quite good" at it... But those were the days... Secondary school life... The peak of my life... Eryn... Enjoy your secondary school life while you still can... Because to me, other than those beautiful times when I'm attached... Secondary school memories build up the best in me... Even though I can no longer go back to secondary school life... But I will never forget about it... Because I met the girl whom I love at first sight... Plus some other fun encounters... I won't encourage you to go into a relationship though... It's not because that I will get jealous or what... But studies are still the priority in your life now... Unless... The guy you feel that you really like so much worth your time and effort... And of course, deserves you... A good relationship will improve your results and well-being... And not creating ill-effect on you... I know you are a sensible girl... But I also know how much will one desire to go into a relationship... Because I also do when I am at your age... Or even younger... But I can control myself... Because, it just wouldn't last at that age of life...

Recently just get back in-touch with my love at first sight girl... Kinda happy, even though didn't chat much in the msn... But just happy that everything went on well for her... The love have faded... Ultimately... It's been 6 years 9 months since I know her... And it's still on Childrens' Day... Hahahaha... An event worth celebrating...

Some what regretted for being where I am now... Even though there is not point regretting anything now... But I just felt that way... Because I'm no longer as good as I used to be... Sigh... Sad... Maybe I can change back... But it's really tough... Somethings can't be changed... And things done cannot be undone also... Fate...??? Sigh...

Felt like looking for a girlfriend after reading some comics, watching some Vcds and also after the talk with Hwee Siong just now... But who do I worth for now... Do I even know how to take good care of someone...??? Sigh... Love is something so near yet so far... Need to reorganize my thoughts before I can move on... So tired in life...

Sometimes thinking... Is it because no one is stressing me and pushing me now... That's why I'm slacking like nobody business... Come to think of it... Even though my life with Shirley seems a bit stress... But sometimes stressing for someone who matter so much to you is worth it... At least it motivated me to move on and reach the unexpected... That's the power of love... Even though will still think of her... But memories are just meant to recap once in awhile... I have my own life to go on now... So does she... Memories are still so sweet... And always so sweet when I only remember the sweet parts... Of course I do have regrets in this relationship... Because I love too deeply... And get hurt too deeply also... Hopefully someday... My trust and faith in love will come back again... And maybe this is why, I have no confidence to start another relationship... Or maybe I have yet to meet the right girl... Maybe when love appear... Everything will just turns out fine... And I shall wait for that to happen...

Just read my horoscope for the day... I need a change in environment or surrounding... Hmmm... It's time to reorganize my room design... Gotta shift everything to get a better feng shui... Might go out to buy some new small furnitures to put in my room... A major new turn... A new shift for a brand new start... But how am I going to re-design my room... Sigh... Something worth pondering over also... Maybe I should go get some rest... Haven't been sleeping for a night... After resting for a few hours might have some new ideas... Hmmm... Have to go Ikea later to check out some stuffs to brighten up my room... Hopefully can think of a new and good design... Hope that it will bring me...

**Good Luck... Good Health... Good Career... Good Relationship...**

2006-07-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

ZzZzZ...

Haven't been blogging for quite some time... Sigh... Things are still pretty much the same... Sigh... Still jobless like before... Jobs are so tough to get... Maybe should just get anything... But... Even anything i also not sure of what i want... Zzz... Sigh...

Have been slacking for so long... Reading comics, watching movies, slacking around, etc... Read a few good comics... Felt like going back to my secondary school days... Sigh... When time passes... Nothing can be done to bring back anything... We can't turn back time or undo things that are done... What pass is over... We can only learn and move on... Zzz...

A lot of stuffs to ponder over... Life... Work... Relationships... Zzz...

Due to somethings had happened... Things are never the same anymore... Just because of somethings... Everything changes...

2006-06-16T03:08:00.000+08:00

COOL...!!!

Went to Kimage to cut hair today... Sigh... Bad hair day... Stupid me go cut one so short hair... Sigh... How am i to go out like this... But nonetheless... Still meet up with my friends... Sigh... Sad... Shouldn't have cut it so short... Haizzz...

After Kimage... Went orchard for dinner with Kelly, my friend... So walked her to the Mrt Station before I went to meet up with another friend, Stephanie, for a movie, she is one of my very few closer girl friend... Always have been good experience going out with her... Thought that there won't be any midnight shows... But luckily... Cathay Cineleisure still have... So went to watch a "not-so-appealing" movie... That's what i thought initially... "RV" aka "Runaway Vacation"... And after the one an a half hour show... It is just so terrific... Hahahaha... Was so funny... Was like laughing throughout the half show... Next movie should either be "Just My Luck" or "Scary Movie 4"... Was waiting for "Barnyard" and "Little Red Riding Hood" to launch also... But i think that would take up some time... Movies like "Pirates Of The Carribean - Dead Man's Chest" and "Click" seems good too... Gosh... So much movies to watch... But will i be watching everything...???

Haizzz... Wanted to go out with my cousin Janicia also so tough... Don't know what is she busy with... Haizzz... Asked her out sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many times... Always got rejected... But maybe priority still stick with her school work... Unlike me... So darn free... Haizzz... Should start eagerly looking for a job... But not sure what i really wanted... Sigh... Marketing positions are just so tough to go into without prior working experiences... But customer service lines and admin jobs are just so bored... But i'm kinda suitable for those customer orientated jobs... But is that what i really wanted...??? Sigh... But can't really mingle around for too long... No money... No career... No girlfriend... Life is just so bored... Need to occupy myself with a job... A career...

Never bet on soccer... Relying on gambling doesn't help too... Sigh... Don't worry... I didn't lose a lot of money... I just didn't win... Hahahaha... Just giving some friendly advice... Never indulge in gambling...

Now i'm just waiting for my hair to grow longer... Zzz... Does sleeping helps...??? If yes, i shall sleep for as long as time shall seems... Because it just sucks so much now... Haizzz... Later still gotta wake up early... Say... Around 10 plus 11... Going Sushi Teh at Holland Village with Fannie, my secondary school junior... A young pretty lady... After that should be free... Sigh... Maybe going home to sleep after that... Life without work is just so boring for now...

Time to sleep... Shall see you all around...

P.S.
To Eryn, must take good care oh... Next time go skating again, should get the right size shoe and keep it tight, so wont have blisters... Think that should be right... Can imagine your pain... Haizzz... Don't burst it oh, just slowly let it recover... Even though bursting it in the correct way helps to recover faster... But of course... More pain... Hahahaha... Thought you are enjoying there... Don't know that you having blisters... Should message me what, but of course, i can't let the blisters disappear... Hahaha... Don't cover with plasters my dear, because if not remember wrongly, i think it will slow down the process of healing due to the insufficient of air circulation... Hahaha... Not sure whether i'm right though... Just kinda remember something like this...

To Janicia, you also ah... Skate also can skate until fall down and bleed... Don't know you use your hand or legs to skate... Zzz... Take good care of yourself and your wounds... Sick already still don't know how to care for yourself... Now make yourself bleed again... Zzz... Haizzz... Really zzz... Anyway... Don't bother tagging me... Because the tag is freaking lousy... I can't even see the tagboard or anyone's tagboard... Not to mention about tagging now... Don't keep things to yourself... You must learn to open up and share your thoughts and feelings with others... Even though you don't like to share with me, but still have eryn... She would be most glad to hear you... Somethings if you don't want to let her know, then can tell me, or anyone you feel comfortable with... If you never say out, nobody will know and understand you... All the best to you, my dear...

Shall miss everybody... Hope to see you all soon... Remember to show me the nice pictures the next time we meet...

2006-06-09T14:55:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha...

An achievement again today... LoL... Haven't been doing that since around 1 to 2 years back... Supposingly should be edible... LoL... Guess what's that...??? Hmmm... Secret Recipe... I tasted it... Not bad i suppose... LoL... It took me 3 hours to do it... Zzz...

Anyway... Went out with Janicia yesterday... Bring her to see a doctor... Because she is sick... I also sick... Think it's because stay over at my aunty Joyce house that week with them, thus all virus was like spreading around... Then i also went to grab some medicine for myself too... Sick... Terribly sick... It's been like so long ago since i last fall sick... Waited like 2 hours or 3 hours then our turn... Zzz... So freaking long queue... After that went to Eryn's house... And saw the cutie pies... LoL... All 3 of them... Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute... Then dilly dally here and there... Disturb them until cannot do their stuffs... Then went to Janicia's house watch VCDs... Even though i watched before already... But just watched with them... Think Eryn must be soooooooooooooooooo bored there... Haizzz... Pity her... Have to be there even though she have many many things to do... Went home after that... Zzz... There goes a day...

So happy to see all of them again... Sigh... Thinking of how fast people age... A few more years... When we are all so busy with our own things... Especially me... If i'm married... Then won't have such chances anymore... Haizzz...

Time flies so fast that no one can remember when i was 16... Haizzz...

2006-06-04T18:39:00.000+08:00

Cool...

Went for a gathering with my dearest aunts and lovely cousins... Yesterday, went to have a Dim Sum buffet in PSA Building, at one of the restaurant named "Harbour City Restaurant"... Something like that... The whole lunch was not bad... But i didn't really ate a lot... Because i'm not really those buffet eater... Gee... A waste of money... In the end, only my aunts ate most food... Hahahaha... So after that, we went to Aunty Joyce's house with more people... So almost all my cousins from that side of family went... Other than Eryn... Because she fall sick... Zzz... So sad... So poor thing... So she stayed at home and rest... Sigh... The day pass quite quickly though... Haven't been seeing them for some time... So quite a good gathering... Played some mahjong with them and so despicable to win their money... Hahahaha... And after that, my cousins want me to stay there with them, so i agreed... Hahahaha... Kinda the oldest "kid" there... Can't believed i have such time...

But anyway... The night was amazing... Hahaha... First time spend time with them... Kinda taking care of them through the night... Couldn't really sleep well though... Flipping here and there... And in the end... Didn't sleep more than 2 hours... And previously on friday, played mahjong with my secondary school friends till saturday morning 6am... Zzz... Was like so tired yet can't fall a sleep... Poor Janicia... Stayed up with me... Because i think i disturb her until she can't sleep too... Hahahahaha... So poor thing... Shu Fang also poor thing... She was sick yet got disturb by us till can't really fall a sleep too, then in the end i tell them rest early, then we stop talking... Finally, Shu Fang fell a sleep... Followed by Shu Wen... Then... Janicia... And me? I stay up till almost all night... Doze off here and there... But was a light sleeper... Think tonight i can sleep very well... Hahahaha... By the way... Shu Fang and Shu Wen are TWINS...!!! An adorable pair... Hahahaha... But always so afraid of me... Hmmm... Why...??? I also not sure... And Eryn was their elder sister... Think the next time i can see them would be in November...??? Other than another gathering at somewhere...

Sigh... Kinda old already... Time flies so fast... Everyone is getting older and older... Can we just stay at where we are and not proceed further...??? Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...

2006-06-01T15:56:00.000+08:00

Oh Mine...

Have been slacking for some time... But... The feeling is kinda getting better... Hahahaha... Other than the fact that i'm not earning any income... Zzz... Marketing job is so hard to find you know... Zzz... But sometimes was like thinking... Should i get other jobs first...??? But i kinda know that i won't enjoy others... Even though some would say that's not true... But yes of course, sometimes we do need to try on the job so that we would know whether would we really like it... Sigh... Tough choice yeah... But can't imaging myself doing admin stuffs... Or customer service now... Because i don't really enjoy that kinda environment as much as in the past...

Well... Anyway... Went out with my little cousin Janicia to catch a movie called "Over The Hedge"... Yes... It is a cartoon... But a funny one... Hahahahaha... Almost laugh my ass off the chair... There are some upcoming cartoons which are nice also... The preview was so darn funny... Think one would be "Barnyard" and another i'm not sure whether is "Little Red Riding Hood"... Hahaha... Different version from what WE know though... Hahahaha... But i'm not sure when will it be launched... But definitely very funny show...

Last night play mahjong until this morning... LoL... Boring... 3 people playing only... Because we short of 1... But my friends still want to play... So come to my house... In the end... Lost $20... Zzz... Wasted my time and sleep... In the end, slept at 6am and wake up at 3.45pm... Zzz...

That's all... Will update on any good movies if i think it's good... Anyway... <> is a very nice concert... Cool... Finally able to watch it after so many years... Ever since my secondary school days... But going for the concert is far to expensive... But... Fortunately by spending an amount equivalent to $30 can buy me the concert... The whole concert last around 2hours and 30mins... Nice... Nice... Nice...

2006-05-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...

Have been really slacking since two weeks ago... Practically doing nothing everyday... Sleeping till late noon... Then come online to do nothing useful... Then watch tv... Then play game... Then sleep... For the past two weeks... Doing almost the same thing everyday... Zzz... Boring life...

Trying to go shopping but don't feel like spending so much money... PSP... Holidays... Zzz...

Watching tv right now... Looking at the Sydney's view... Felt like going again... Went there once for attachment... Stayed there for 6 weeks... Have some memorable experience and memories... Felt like going back there to eat the good food... But that means... Gotta spend tons of money again... And going alone... Doesn't sounds appealing isn't it... Sigh... Think of it only... But never going to work that out for now... Where on earth to find so much money to spend on that holiday... Zzz...

Always think think think... Can build a castle in my dreams... But can't even get down to something in the reality... So what if i know this... I'm still the same... Zzz...

Motivation... Thinking of it... Is it really through that i must have a girlfriend to stay motivated and really get down to something serious...??? Kinda think of what Debbie said... Or rather during a conversation between us... Sigh... Motivation... Determination... Persistant... That's what i lacked of...

Oh well, Debbie is my poly friend... Went to KTV with some of them... And kinda celebrated Shirley's birthday... So call pre-celebrated it... Hahaha... Kinda looking forward to see her again... Thought that would have tons of things to say... But in fact... Don't really have much to say... Was kinda quiet throughout the whole night... Maybe im just too boring... Zzz... After KTV... We went to dinner at Paragon "NOOCH"... And trust me... The place suck a big time... I will never ever go down there again... The service there were beyond hope... The food there was like average... But the service was a total turn off... Anyway... After that then we went home...

Sigh... Really boring life isn't it...???

Actually going out tomorrow for a movie... In the end... My cousins can't make it... In the end, have to look for alternatives... But in the evening... Going to meet Alice and her sis for dinner at Bishan Sakae... LoL... Sakae... Superb food... Love that so much... I think i can eat two to three times a week... One of my favorite eating place... Bishan Sakae was one of the better Sakae in Singapore... Good food... Good ambience... Hahaha... Other places like Heeren Sakae and some other places was not bad... But Harbour Front Sakae was not that good... Maybe improving...

Hmmm... Then next week might be going out with other friends... Hmmm... Take this chance to have a break...

Thinking about job... Still not really sure what i really want to work as... Market Research and Market Analysis job sounds ok... But rather har to get as they need people with experiences... Sigh... Nothing helpful...

Shall see how it goes... That's all for now... Tomorrow going shopping for some clothes... Getting lesser stuffs to wear... Think im growing fatter also... Zzz... Can't stand that fat image of myself... Need to make my big belly disappear... Need to do something about my hair also... Zzz... Styling is so tough... Look like shit now... Zzz... Money money money... Where on earth to get it without a job... Zzz... Might be going to take a look at my PSP at Bishan Sony again... Not sure whether should i buy or what... $600 to get the minimum criteria with a game plus 1gb memory stick... Then now still thinking of my holiday... Maybe going for a short holiday to Malaysia or something... A getaway might be good now... Sigh... Shall see how... And update again...

Anyway... My tag seems to have some problems... Maybe is my anti-virus is blocking everything... Sigh... Now i can't tag or even view my tag... Sad... People got anything just message me then... Shall see you around...

2006-05-25T04:02:00.000+08:00

Zzz...

Finally back to my slack life... Again... Zzz... What a boring life... Just realized... MY LIFE IS REALLY SO BORING... Zzz... PERSISTENCY... I think i really lack of this... Or rather i know i lacked of PERSISTENCY... Zzz...

Till now, don't think i have contribute much to anyone or anything... Have much thinking... But no actions... Plain talks only... Is this what i'm good at only...??? Sigh... What have i been doing all along...

At the age of 23... Have nothing at all...

Sigh...

Wanted to go into the field of marketing, but without any experiences in this field, don't have much chance at all...

What do i really want...??? I ponder... Yet i'm still not sure...

Going holiday for now...??? But does this help...???

Buying a PSP...??? A waste of money or a form of leisure...???

Sigh... Sigh... Sigh...

What am i good at...???

When will i be determine to do the things that i should be doing...???

2006-05-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

SIGH...!!!

Sigh... Finally... After 2 months of good experience... I've just quitted from my job... QUITTED...??? Kinda... Zzz... Sigh... Now gotta look for another job again... Sigh... Kinda reluctant to leave the workplace... So many nice people around the office... Fun and good... Even though it's only shortly 2 months... But can feel the relationships build up... Sigh... I know they don't feel good seeing me leaving also... But it's true... Sigh... They even offer to find me jobs that i want to go in... But im kinda still pending... I don't know what i want now but i need to get it clear so i can move on... I need to move on too... Just like my mentor said... Don't procrastinate finding a job... I know that too... If i continue to slack, i will still remain who i am... It's time to buck up and move on... Thanks people... Thanks for all the help, guidance and tolerance with me... Really appreciate every single one of you so much...

QUITTED...!!!

2006-05-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

*Sigh*

*Sigh*... Don't know what i'm up to lately... Haven't really been myself... *Sigh*... Things just doesn't seems to be going smoothly... Everything seems so wrong... *Sigh*... What's really going on wrongly...??? Or is it just myself...???

Zzz... Last long weekend until October... Zzz... Work work work... Do i really enjoy working...??? Or do i need to change to a more mundane and not sales orientated job...??? But is mundane job really for me...??? The pay are just going to be growing on a linear basis... Zzz... How am i going to buy everything that i want...??? By the way... What do i really want...??? Zzz... Until now i still don't know... Haizzz...

BIG mistake... Very much bothered by that mistake relationship still... Stupid me... *Sigh*... Things are just going to be that way... Being positive will help...??? *Sigh*...

Don't know what's up... Age are catching up... And things are forever changing... Friends are forever...??? Is it true...???

Do i even need a girlfriend now...??? I doubt it... Feeling so moody... Nothing seems to help... Even if i have a girlfriend now... Will i be happy...??? I really doubt so... Just ain't that type of guys anymore... *Sigh*... Bad... Real bad...

Where's everyone seems to go...??? Lost in the ocean... BORED...!!!

2006-04-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

GREAT SHOW...!!!

Finally finished watching "大长今"... A marvellous korean drama series... Watched the last few disc the whole day and finally complete the whole series... *Sigh*... Really nice... Don't know what to say about the whole show... *Sigh*... Full of love and hate... LoL... Anyone who have yet to watch the show must really watch it... Hmmm... Don't even think of borrowing it from me... Zzz... Of course I've promised to lend it to Li Yan... But previously also lend another 2 friends... Zzz... Regretted... Zzz...

Anyway... Went for my cousin's tea ceremony this morning... Or rather afternoon... Because i woke up around 1pm... LoL... Super tired... But of course they did not serve me tea even though im "older" than her... By a few months of course... LoL... Happy for her... Monday will be her wedding dinner...

So many good things happened... My brother had his first born baby... And it's a baby boy... LoL... Healthy and cute... But i can't carry or touch him yet... Because if so, then i can't go for my cousin dinner... Some "sayings"... So... Just have to follow...

Now to my work... *Sigh*... Still pending... Don't know what to do yet... Dim light ahead... Future unforeseen... Zzz...

Went on a great date yesterday... LoL... Unexpectedly good... But... Friends... Nothing further...

Have to start thinking for my future... But still kinda feeling lazy... Still lazy... Very lazy... I'm still a very boring person... Need to find something to spice up my life... Or rather spend more time outside... Even if i've to go out alone or what... Need to bring some life to myself... If not, i will feel tired easily and will become even slacker and become a more boring person... Zzz... I'm already so boring... Need to have a more meaningful life... But... Saying is always easy...

To Eryn... Good luck for your mid year exams oh... "加油", "加油", "再加油"... You can do it de... Even if you don't trust yourself... Must still trust me right...??? LoL... Or trust "大长今" better... Since you like her so much... She once say: "一定要相信自己"... Hmmm... That's right... Your hard work will shows in your results... Don't only work hard... Must work smart too...!!! *Huggies*

To Janicia... You must also study hard...!!! Must do much much much better than the past... Your results have proven that you sure can make it... So you must keep up the good work and do even better...!!!

To Joanne... Take good care of yourself girl... Your body have been weak... So must take good care...!!! Good luck for your exams too... Work hard and study smart... You can do it...!!!

To Li Yan... Don't give yourself more excuses to rest and slack please... Exams are around the corner... Don't think that you still have a lot of time... Because time is really short... I will lend you "大长今" after your exams one... Buy that is because of you also... It's a really nice show... Your reward for your hard work for your exams is "大长今"...!!! LoL...

To Irwin... Don't think that i've forgotten all about you... Because i didn't... When are you going to come back again...??? You have been dragging for a very long time... Zzz... If you have any troubles or what, still can talk with me when you see me online... Ever since we start working... We rarely talk online already... Still must take good care alright my brother...

Hmmm... Haven't been blogging for a very long time... Never thought i can still write a long blog... Hahaha... Hope to see you guys tag again...!!! Take good care everybody... Mizz you guys tons...

2006-04-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

Zzz... Feeling like a balloon let out of air... Zzz... Where has all my energy level gone to...??? Or haven't i had any before... Zzz... To stay or not to stay...??? What i really wanted...??? Zzz... Boring weekend... Zzz...

2006-04-01T12:53:00.000+08:00

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

YES...!!! I need that everyday... I need to equip myself with everything positive... I mean attitudes and not diseases... LoL... Lame joke though... But anyway... Have been trying to pull myself up on my feets again... New resolution... Start with some exercises... Less sleeps... More work... And read up more news... Knowledge and experiences are some of the keys to success... Of course... With the right attitude... This is very important... No time for discouragement... Need to pump myself with tons of encouragement everyday, every hour, every minute, every second...

Hmmm... Later going out to play mah jong with my poly friends... *Sigh*... Need to travel all the way to Bedok and play for awhile... What a day... But luckily, no work today... So still ok... But i seems to enjoy my work now... Kinda... LoL... Need more hard work and smart work too...

!!!...GAMBATTE...!!!

!!!...I CAN MAKE IT...!!!

!!!... I MUST MAKE IT...!!!

2006-03-30T21:03:00.000+08:00

*SAD*

*Sigh*... Sad... *Sigh*... Kinda going to get retrenched soon... *Sigh*... Even though it's just shortly a month of working experience there... But i'm kinda bonded to the workplace, the job scope, the colleagues, the candidates and everything... Everyone there are so nice in general... But i think i'm just too slow in absorbing the working knowledge of that field... *Sigh*... Maybe i'm really not that cut for sales orientated jobs... *Sigh*...

What should i really do...??? Thinking... Thinking... Thinking... Irwin...??? Li yan...??? Can someone tell me...??? Most probably will go ask my mentor tomorrow after work... *Sigh*... Staying in this job will it helps...??? *Sigh*... Sad...

But i really like this job... *Sigh*... But i guessed... I should just faced the reality that i'm not the cut for this job... Am i right Li Yan...??? *Sigh*... Felt like going to Asutralia after the contract end... *Sigh*... Irwin... Pay for my air tix...??? LoL... Zzz...

2006-03-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

DRIVING...!!!

Hmmm... Things getting better... At least i get to drive every weekends... During my rest days... Zzz... But it's better than nothing... Hmmm... In a month or so, i will be able to drive soon... As in... DRIVING ON MY OWN... Hahaha... Not with my dad by my side and nagging and nagging and nagging... Zzz... But it's for my own good of course... Hee...

Hmmm... Days to come... Can stay out late after i can drive on my own... Hmmm... Going anywhere won't be a major problem too... But of course... I still need to memorize the routes that will bring me to Li Yan's house... The routes to airport when Irwin is back... And many others just in case i need to send someone home or whatever... Zzz... How i wished i drive a helicopter instead of a car... Zzz...

A new week coming ahead... Zzz... Another work week... Sianz... Only looking forward to weekends for the time being... Need to drive and drive... Park and park... Until i can get hold of the key... Zzz... I need tons of rest too... *Sigh*... Going to face those people again... And i can foresee more stress ahead... Zzz... The longer i stay... The more stress i will face... But no... I can't quit... It's a great learning place there... Someone... Give me energy to persevere on... Zzz... But let me rest for the night first... Zzz... Tired... Super tired... Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...

2006-03-19T02:58:00.000+08:00

UPDATES...!!!

Due to Li Yan complain about me not updating my blog often, i decided to come here to update her even though i just came back from pubbing at somewhere near my place with my cousins... Anyway... It's been two weeks since i started working in a recruitment firm... *Sigh*... Things have yet to go better... I still need tons of improvements... A lot of skills need to brush up and i really need to learn to multi-task as soon as possible... If not, i just can't catch up with the speed that my colleagues are moving at...

Finally after ten years... Prince Charles finally gone on a date with Princess Diana... A rumour that had spread across ten years ago... LoL... Went to eat sakae sushi at Tiong Bahru... Then catch on a movie "The Shaggy Dog"... It's a hilarious show... Think you guys should watch it too... Send her back home after that since it's so near... And i went home after that... A good catch up though... Our first and maybe our last date... Hahaha...

Anyway... Work haven't been real smooth... Earning so little yet putting so much effort in it... But maybe i should just enjoy the learning process since i am learning so much in this short two weeks...

Next friday going to meet Hisna for dinner and some catch up... And hopefully the following friday can meet up with Li Yan for another meal or something... Hey girl, let you choose the place for dinner... Don't ask for my opinion oh, i'm fine with almost everything... Hahaha... I will voice out if i don't like the place you choose... Hahaha... You better rest well during this period of time before your exams draw nearer... Don't always say you know you know... Because even though you always say you know... You really just don't know... And i nag for a very good reason... LoL...

Meanwhile... I shall continue brushing up my driving skills and parking skills so that i will be able to fetch you out someday soon...

Shall go to sleep already... A bit dizzy... Plus tired... *Sigh*... Sunday already... And monday drawing very close... Another week of war is coming up... *Sigh*... When will friday come again...??? *Sigh*...

Eryn and Janicia... Tag more oh... Hahaha... Spice up this blog and tagboard of mine... Hahaha... And also Li Yan and Irwin... Always visit my blog without tagging... Zzz... Help to spice up my tagboard lehz... Hahaha...

That's all for now... Hope to have more exciting and interesting to update in my blog... Very tired from work... Need ample rest... Zzz...

2006-03-12T19:00:00.000+08:00

Driving And Work...

Hahahahaha... Finally get to drive my dad's car... Of course... With him sitting by my side teaching me what's right and what's wrong... LoL... Almost got into accident... Hahaha... Lucky he is there to guide me... Hmmm... Gotta be more careful on the road... Need to get rid of the triangle plate soon... Before everybody comes over-taking my lane and treat me like a newbie... Zzz... Anyway... Still need some brush up on my parking skills... Not very good in that still... I don't want to drive out and get stuck when finding a slot... Hahaha... Behold my dear friends... Will be able to drive out on my own soon... Hahaha...

Anyway... My work sucks a big time... Zzz... Or is it that i slacked for too long... That's why it will take me some time to get use to it... Zzz... Targets, targets and more targets... Sigh... I'm only started my way to reach that place... A place where i can only dream of and not reach now... Sigh... What job really suits me i wonder... Sigh... I really don't know... Will a change in job helps...??? Sigh... I should just persevere on for a month or so and see how it goes... Sigh... Tired... Very tired...

2006-03-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

Is this the job i want...???

I'm wondering now... Or maybe today is my first day... It's normal for me to feel this way... Maybe... Or maybe not...??? *Sigh*... My job there basically is to answer incoming calls about jobs advertised on the internet or newspapers and also to reply to internet enquiries... Of course, i need to call those "interested" parties to come down for an interview for the jobs they are interested in and see how it goes from there... Easy...??? Sounds easy... But today is only the first day... Only when i successfully helped people to get a satisfied job, then i think i will feel more relieve... *Sigh*... Stressed... Mentally stressed... Though physically not stressed... Think my appetite is going to turn real bad... Newbies are like that... Especially when you are the only new guy in the firm... Gender ratio there is around 1:3... Lesser guys of course...

Got about twenty interviews to attend to tomorrow... Hopefully can get a suitable job for all candidates... LoL... Am i dreaming...??? I think so... *Sigh*... Tomorrow is just my second day... Hope that everything will go well... If not... I'll sure be pressed for results... *Sigh*... Don't know what time to knock off again tomorrow... Zzz... Unsure starting hours... Unsure knocking off hours... Unsure commission rate... Unsure prospects... Unsure candidates... So many things not sure about... But just need to be quick to learn everything by myself... No one is there to help... Everyone is just so busy with their own things... But luckily, i've a good superior and team mates to help me initially... Most people there are nice... But there are bound to be one or two that you won't feel good about... Or at least that i don't feel good about... What freaking blah blah blah attitude... I'm there to work not whatever fish and chips... Grrr...

Boss treated all of us for lunch today... So saved money today... But went into food frenzy this evening... Because kinda tired after one whole day of work... Mentally tired... Not prepared with that kinda environment... Lucky i've some customers' service experiences... So not too hard in this sense in answering high volume of phone calls... But the fact that people are just doing better than me just kinda pissed me... LoL... I need to be better... BETTER...!!!

No more time for demoralization... No more time for pessimistic thinkings... No more time for negatives thoughts... No more bad thoughts and things to disturb my goals...

Need more candidates to fill up vacant positions... Need more candidates to strengthen my database... Need more clients to provide more jobs... Need more motivations from people around me... Need more encouragement too... Need more confidence level from myself and for myself... Need more successful interviews... Need so much more hardwork... Need more luck also... Need more or everything good...

Going to sleep soon... Tired... Zzz... Brain dead... Zzz...

2006-03-04T19:17:00.000+08:00

Excited But Tired At The Same Time

Hmph... Don't know whether is it good or bad now... Tomorrow is my last day of freedom... Monday onwards... My war will start... Till...??? Nobody knows... Everyday i will be racing with time i suppose... I guess its time for me to learn what stress is all about... Stress never really entangle me before... Not in my past 23 years of life... Not as much as the others i suppose... Whether is it i can cope with my stress effectively... Or maybe i just take things to easily... That's why never really score well in most of my studies other than those i'm really interested in... Will i also do well in the job i'm interested in...???

After thinking through much... Think it's really true... The top earners are mostly people doing sales... How can i fulfil my dreams with just getting a basic pay after 3-5 years...??? I don't think i can even buy a car... Not to say to buy my dream house... So i guess... I have made the right choice of stepping in this line... It's not really that bad actually compared to other sales... Because it's recruitment i'm doing... It's like selling jobs instead of a product...

I'm still not fully aware of how the whole organisation works... But i think i will know in greater details on Monday... From then on... I don't think i will be as free as now... I can't login online that often... I can't blog that often... I can't meet my good friends that often... And my only rest time would be after work and my one and a half weekends... Must get converted to permanent staff after 1 month... And must get confirm within another 3-4 months...

Kinda excited yet kinda bored... Because i'm not sure how the whole thingy works... And whether can i hit my sales target... Of course... Being too easy wouldn't be challenging enough... But being tough might demoralize me... Hahaha... But am i so easily affected by stress...??? Hmmm... But for my house, wedding, holidays and car... And i'm so young now... Plus i'm need so much money for don't know what other reasons... I guess after slacking for 23 years... It's time for me to fight a war for myself and not for any other people... It's time for me to live for myself and not others... It's time to fulfil my dreams and not others... It's time to spend and save money for myself and not others... It's really time to do things for myself...

Tired... So tired now... Thinking of starting work on monday make me tired... But i guess... When everything get started... I will get going... Have to put all negative thinking aside... I'm still a confident guy... I'm still optimistic... I'm still me... I'm the best...!!! LoL... Gambatte for me my friends...

P.S. Those who need to find work can come look for me... I will try my best to get a job that you are looking for...

2006-03-03T13:51:00.000+08:00

JOBS' INTERVIEWS

Went for a few interviews here and there... Haven't really got any real jobs offer though... Still waiting... Went to "RE" for interview twice for the position of "RC"... Doesn't sounds that bad actually... In fact... It can be really good if work real hard for it... If everything went smoothly... And targets are met every month... I reckon by the end of 3-4 years... I can have everything that i wanted now... Felt so motivated now... With so many dreams to be fulfilled and goals to achieve... But of course... I's still waiting for my third interview with them to see how it goes... It wouldn't be easy... Neither would it be that hard, i suppose...

Calculated my monthly spendings for the next 10 years... Excluding the part if i ever get a girlfriend and also Toyota Vios... LoL... That can be very scary... But as for now... Think i must earn at least $3,500 per month to have a secure life 3 years later... Let me do a breakdown for you...

1) $500 for my parents...
2) $500 for my monthly meals...
3) $200 for my monthly insurance premiums...
4) $100 for my monthly transport...

The above mentioned are my expenses... Now comes my savings...

1) $1000 monthly savings for my wedding's plan...
2) $1000 monthly savings for my house...
3) $200 monthly savings for extra purposes...

You must be wondering why so much here.. But it really isn't a lot... Especially for my wedding... I don't think at the end of 3 years, i would be able to earn enough to hold my wedding... *Sigh*... High expectations yeah...??? I'm not sure how would it goes though... Just plan that way... As for my house... Excluding the monthly CPF savings... I need to use for my down payment, renovation, etc etc... It's really not enough isn't it...??? This plan is excluding the point if i ever get a girlfriend within this 3 years and also for my Toyota Vios... If i were to add all these up... I reckon i need to earn a rather fascinating amount of at least $6,000 per month to cover all expenses and get my dreams fulfilled... (An additional amount of $1,500 per month for my Toyota Vios, which need $900 for the monthly installment for a period of 5 years... And the $600 would be for patrol and stuffs... Need to get a superb nice girl so i can at least save another $500 from the $1,000 set aside for "her"...) *Sigh*... A holy amount of $6,000 per month by myself... LoL... Am i dreaming or something...??? It can be done... In sales line of course...

Am i thinking far too much...??? Too unrealistic...??? But i think its really not that much... I can achieve more... 5 digits salary per month wouldn't be a dream yeah...??? Of course... You get what you earned... Without hardships and efforts... Money won't fall from the sky... Need tons of determination and perseverance to hold through... Won't be thinking about going into a sucky relationship anymore... At least for now... Its a no no no... Until a nice girl come along... As in real nice and not some other crappy people...

Wish me luck my friends... Hope that everything can really go smoothly for me from now... All bad dreams are over... A brand new life for me... No more past memories to torment me... Leading a happy life now... With so much goals to be fulfil...

UPDATES...!!!

Hahaha... Finally got an approval from "RE"... A great WAR will commence from monday on... Wish me greater luck... My dreams... Here i come...!!!